Changes in sex life
 

I need to vent...I am so frustrated! My husband and I were intimate Thursday night and I have been in so much pain since I can hardly stand it. I haven't been able to sleep all night because of the increased pain. We have been married for almost 23 years and have always had a very healthy, pleasing sex life. In Nov. 2006 I was diagnosed with RSD/CRPS after more than two years of symptoms. Initially it was just in my right arm/shoulder and did not affect our sex life significantly. In Feb/March 2008 the RSD/CRPS began to spread and now affects both arms/shoulders, my chest wall, neck, and spine (basically everywhere a long-sleeved turtle-neck shirt would cover) as well as some internal organs (most noticeably my stomach and heart). We use to make love on an average of 1-2 times a week. Now we are lucky if we have sex once a month because I am in so much pain for up to a week afterward. We have tried positioning and pillows but neither have helped. I sleep in a recliner because I am unable to lay down without excruciating pain. I miss lying next to my husband and I miss the intimacy of making love to him. Luckily my husband is very understanding and does not put any pressure on me. But I know he must feel as lost as I do at times. We remain close otherwise and are still best of friends but I still long for the closeness we use to share and now are unable to. It's not enough that this disease has robbed me of my career (I was a Registered Nurse certified in Oncology and am now disabled), my health, friendships, and my ability to preform even the simplest of household tasks...why did it have to rob me of this too? It's so unfair!!!
Cricket

Hi Cricket183,

Are you in any kind of pain management? What are they doing for you?

Doc

Doc,
Yes I am under the care of a pain mgt specialist. I am currently on a combination of medications--both narcotic and non-narcotic to help control my pain. Even at the high doses I am on they do not control my pain very well. I have tried every other treatment available for RSD/CRPS that insurance would cover or that I could afford. (Nerve blocks, physical therapy, massage therapy, stellate ganglion blocks, IV ketamine infusions, high dose steroid therapy, a spinal cord stimulator, etc.) Other than meds there are no other treatments available at this time. There is research being done so hopefully there will be new therapies on the horizon.

Cricket

Hi Cricket, I know your pain. It has been since August of 2010 since my husband and I were intimate until Valentine's Day. Did I enjoy it? No. Did my husband? Absolutely not. Did I "pay for it afterwards"? Yes.

It is such a horrible thing - we have been married for almost 13 years, we have been together (on and off/friends with benefits type situations) for about 20 years. We have always had an active sex life (even after marriage) until 2007 (the accident). I feel awful because I know he misses the intimacy as well as I do. We can't even "snuggle" at night because of the pillows surrounding my body and the wincing I do even in my sleep.

Let me know if you manage to find a way to safely please your husband.