i still have hope.
 

hello all.i get a little depressed at night some times when i have had a bad day.i try to think that it could be worse,and some people have more pain than me,but it does not help.i need to change my life some how.i am the fire chief her in town it is all volentier,and i realy enjoye it but it is getting so very hard to do the job but yet,i do not want to give it up.i do not no what to do.i am sorry if i bring you all down but this is the one place i feel i can talk.i think the stress of only working two hours per day,and the money troubles make my pain worse.well,thank you for beaing hear for me it really does help to talk,thank you.

We all get depressed at times... i think its what we do with it. Its always hard but surround yourself with someone or people/family/friends that will just understand and hang out to get your mind off the nasty disease. Sometimes i dont want to be around anyone so I write and getting it all on paper and off my heart helps so much.
It doesnt bring us down, its a common ground and road that we are all traveling on. Pray, pray and pray some more. Prayers will be sent your way... the big guy upstairs will take care of you. Hang in there... rent a good movie and eat some popcorn and pick your feet up and try to enjoy :)

my best
Hannah

Dear Jeff,

I think all of us can relate to the backslash of having RSD or any chronic condition. You kind of rally to get better hope and pray that it will all go back to normal then you hit the stage of s..., this is for life.

I remember the day I had to make the decision to file a permant disability application it was devastating. I just could not believe that I was not going to have my career make good of money, I would of lost it all in the recession anyway, and how where we going to live the lifestyle we built. I have been together with my husband since 1980 it was 31 years this past March. I have 2 children, when I go hurt they where 9 and 12, now 17 and 20. My children where both involved in many activities, music and sports which my husband and I encouraged and it all cost money. We have a house and all the responsibilities that come with that. But 8 years later we are still in the same house, I did get my disability and work PT doing the same thing I used to do just on a very different scale and the money problems are there but we work it out the best we can. My children I think have actually become very responsible I think seeing what I went through made them realize things aren't always rosie and made them more mature and better young adults, really. They have had to help and pick up the slack in many ways. I forgot to mention my husband has had 2 back surgeries in the same time period so yah its been fun.

I can only control what I can control. I do the best I can. I used to get so freaked out over the fact that things are not same but I had to find a way to stop. At the end of the day Jeff, I can't do,spend,have all I want but I did find a way to make life as normal as possible. I read you are a Chief in a fire Department. What a great honor for you. I have always admired firemen, what type of bravery do you have to have to go inside a burning builiding, its so giving of yourself.

Sorry I'm rambling. Try and keep positive. It's a struggle for me everyday also so your not alone.

Gabbycakes

Hi I am sorry you are feeling down. Don't feel sorry for reaching out for the support you deserve. It can help to talk about how you feel with people who understand. I know the impact of money issues on top of the pain is so hard. Have you looked into disability? I wish I could offer more. Hang in there.

hi Jeff, if it wasn't for this place, none of us would have an outlet. Thankfully we do and with people who understand our daily battles, so please do not apologize. Our lives do change forever and that I believe is the hardest hurdle to overcome (for me at least). I am 40, worked for 25 years, college educated, always independent even in my marriage and now this big wammie! OMG, frost it with pain, throw in people who don't understand it, and add a bunch of doctors who really don't know what to do with us...yea I would say our stress level is a bit on the high side most days (which is exactly what our body does not need to fuel this ugly beast)

All I can offer you is what I do, wrap yourself in a nice warm electric blanket, get a book or magazine (something you can get lost in and think about nothing else for an hour) have some hot tea or cocoa and let your brain and body just rest, completely relax. We need time to regroup ourselves. As much as the internet is helpful, I think we consume our life researching answers that may not be there and think about nothing else in our lives, especially the things that make us smile and before we know it, another day has passed us by...so whether we spend it consuming ourselves with the "beast" in pain or spend it with happier things/people, our bodies will feel the same, but how will our minds feel? That may make a big difference!!

Be well! :)

Dear Jeff....

My thoughts are with you as many here... We all feel the grip of our painful RSD... It is not easy nor is this a disease meant for the weak..That in it's self tells a bunch for each of us...strong, determined.. Crushed, oh yes but we are willing to see this thru... As crazy as this sounds...I can only turn this ugly animal into a positive in order to live with it...It's one thing to say I believe it but I have to trust my instincts... My feeling is I have RSD in Order to get in touch with my more softer, more appreciative side..not that I have not always loved my life and those in it but...RSD has taught me to live in simpler terms..to laugh from my gut and love from my heart... I have had RSD, now generalized..whole body .. 4 years and counting...not always have I been able to see this disease and my involvement in such crystal clear terms..but lately I have hit a plateau in realizing how I fit in my new life..wrapping my heart around the less desirable part of my new life...RSD, it's incurable... Treatments are dangling carrots which are so hard to have... I just know when I can feel the love around me, laughing replaces me tears and somehow for some reason... I know swimming against against the tide with this pain is so exhausting... Reserving my energy for the survival...this is a bumpy windy road but know that none of us are alone... I just try to find that happy side of the road as RSD does not deserve to take us away our happy former lives...

Hugs, Kathy:grouphug: