I need help or advice.
 

I've been working in retail sales for over one and a half years. I do well with sales, but I have one problem. I can't manage to focus well enough to get to work on time. I am usually at least one minute late. This totally embarrasses me and I know it could get me fired if they wanted to do so. They are really buckling down on this. I don't want to lose my job because I need the benefits.

I can't seem to get myself organized to get there on time. I feel like such a moron because I can do everything else, including making my commissions, etc... But I know I'm expensive for the company due to my meds.

Help me to come up with ideas to get myself going. I don't want to go on ssdi before I need to.

Do I level with my manager and tell him about the MS and risk being blacklisted in the company because of it? And I know they aren't supposed to do that, but we all know how that is. Once the MS cat is out of the bag there is no going back.

Please help me to sort this out dear friends. :grouphug: This is starting to worry me.

I like to set all, including in the car, clocks at least 5 minutes ahead.

back before I had MS, but had a strange habit of showing up late because I couldnt manage to concentrate well enough to get to work on time for some weird reason. (probably the MS screwing around with me before I knew it was screwing around with me) I used to get up several hours before I had to be at work, I'd get dressed and go out for breakfast every morning.

Then I'd somehow manage to get to work an hour early to sit in the breakroom and crochet. (I worked at a telemarketing company, they let us do stuff like that, even on the clock) It worked out great for me, because I really wanted that hour to sit and crochet. I got a lot of projects done in the four years that I worked at that job. I really needed that hour. If I didnt get at least an hour in of crocheting (and chatting with some friends) I was a bit stressed out the whole day. Not sure why that was.

The crochet got me to where I could relax enough to not be stressed out about working. I kind of miss that job, but only because I was allowed to crochet while doing it. (I keep having weird nightmares that I'm working there again, and my call times are getting screwed up because I cant find a working phone in time and it was counted against you for every minute you werent on the phone)

The thing is, I need the extra hours for sleep. With retail, it is odd hours, close one day, open ten hours later. I know what I should do, I just need to get myself into the habit of doing the right thing. I guess I need to get motivated.

The chance of being fired and losing benefits is a work motivator. I taught at risk students and accountability was a big deal.

Methinks there is more to this than meets the eye. Just an observation, but thinking of the people I know who are "always" late, not just "often" late, there is usually something underlying, more than just oversleeping or not being organized.

There are people who for YEARS are five minutes late for church, give or take, Sunday after Sunday after Sunday. I used to think they slept until the last moment, but no, they are up in plenty of time (on Facebook). I used to think it was last minute kid stuff, but no, the kids are grown up.

With this specific family, I think their being late is unconsciously deliberate...is there such a thing? It may be a control issue, it may be an unconscious "Look at us, we're just so busy and important that we can't POSSIBLY be here on time." It may be "I don't really want to be here, so I'm proscrastinating until the last minute." Who knows?

Now I'm not suggesting for a minute that you fall into any of those categories. I'm just saying that since it's on ongoing problem, it seems unlikely that you're just disorganized. If so, all you would have to do is start ten minutes earlier.

Do you have a counselor-type friend who could help you troubleshoot this problem until you get to the heart of the issue? Maybe it isn't what you think.

Just thought of something else. I have a friend who was dependably late, everywhere, every day, every appointment, etc. It was beginning to cause so rifts in her relationships.

She discovered her problem was what you mentioned, focus. She would get up two hours before she had to leave for work, but if the phone rang, she answered it. If she saw a project, she'd work on it "...just for a few minutes." If she noticed something that needed attention, she took care of it. And she ended up trying to pack three hours worth of "stuff" into two hours.

What she had to do (took a LOT of discipline) was make a written list of what she had to do in the morning, being realistic about the time involved. And then she had to force herself not to do ANYTHING that wasn't on the list unless it was literally a matter of life and death.

Eventually her family and friends stopped calling her between 5:30 and 7:30 because they knew she wasn't going to answer the phone. It was rough at first, and she had to say out loud sometimes, "I'm NOT going to do that now!" No glancing through a catalog on the table, no combing the dog, no checking to see if her shows DVR'd, whatever. Just the list.

Eventually she got into better habits and didn't need the list. But she used it for a long time.

By the way: :hug:

Being late is a habit that many fall. Its a breakable habit. If you need the extra sleep then maybe you can go to bed earlier. Many folks get up an extra half hour early to put themselves ahead of the game. I used to be an early person till I started working in the prison and if you hit traffic or are ONE minute late, they CLOSE the door and lock you out. you have to be escorted to the supervisors office and explain why you kept everyone else waiting, and got the "how special do you think you are" lecture. Trust me one or two of those and you get there extra early.

Make a habit of showing up EARLY, dont aim for on time, aim for early. sit outside and eat your yogurt, or sip your coffee and reflect on the day ahead. Say your prayers, write letters, do your manicure whatever activity it takes that is a treat for you when you arrive. Pretty soon you will look forward to those few minutes before you day of rush starts, and you can just sip your drink and reflect on how you will handle this day.

Positive rewarding will get you much farther than scolding yourself or punishing yourself. I hope that helps. :hug:

btw, love B2Ys post. Anything that isnt on the list get ignored till you get back home. Just because the phone rings, doesnt mean you have to answer it. Tell your friends and family that calls at that hour will go straight to VM. Sorry, but im in training. If you forgot your lunch, then you will have to buy something. bed unmade? who cares?! let it go till later. Your goal is to be early for work, and then make it a habit. It takes two weeks to break a habit, and two weeks to make a better one, so by the time 2 weeks go by you should be handling your new routine pretty well.

I would hold off on telling about the MS till you need to. This is not interferring with your job yet, just your ability to get to your job.

I also think this is something you can accomplish if you really want to. I'm one of those annoying people that is always early and some of the things I do are set all my clocks 10 minutes fast as well as allowing 90 minutes every morning to do my chores, eat breakfast and hygiene before I need to dash out the door. Maybe you could even have a friend or DH call you to give you a prompting to get rolling?

I have a funky schedule and am very protective of my sleep also however if you are only 5 minutes late to work I don't really think it is about the sleep factor. ;)

There is going to be a problem with perception so this could eventually cause you to lose your job. Or other employees could become resentful. I have always been early, so I have to admit I do not have a lot of patience with someone who is always late. I have a few colleagues that are always doing their copying at the last minute, and are then always late for their classes. They are also always late for meetings. They view themselves as laid back; I view them as procrastinators and as being rude. I also see a tendency in certain students to always be late. Some of my colleagues tell the students that they can not come in once the door shuts. Our classroom doors automatically lock when closed. While I have threatened to do that, I never have. If I do have a student that is consistently late, I will no longer give them attendance/participation points on the days they are late.

You have been given some good suggestions.:hug: