New thread, because I'm stressed, and need advice!
 

Okay, I have lots going on. Not sure when that doesn't happen.

1. I'm worried about what is going on at the Vet Clinic Derrick works at.
A. First I thought things were good. And it kind of stinks the way things
were laid at our laps. But I just don't know what to think or do.
B. Second, He has a Job Coach, that has kind of let things go. Because the clinic has just said, Derrick is great we love him. They used to act like there were no problems.

C. Job Coach, is on vacation of course during summer. And a bomb was
dropped last Wednesday. But many things said, not sure what was true,
and what was not.
1. First learned that Derrick spends to much time in bathroom.
a. This is true, but not just there. Everywhere, its getting worse,
Can be 20 minutes in a restaurant bathroom or store even.
Because of work statement, I talked him into starting fiber pills, and
I've bought stool softener too. (Anyone know if its okay to give both)

2. Doc says, Girls(Nurses) Find him standing, or sitting around. This doesn't exactly make sense. Because they have always said, he is a hard worker and wont take a break. Used to be they had to make him slow down.

A. When I took Pigglett, for her surgery. I got a chance to talk to the nurse that has always dealt the most with Derrick. She is usually his trainer.
She told me, that if she catches him standing around, she ask why. And he tells, and it always makes sense. But the other girls, say they don't have time. And the doc told me when she finds him standing around she doesn't ask. But I realize she doesn't have time. But what she quoted me, was almost exactly what Amanda, told me the other main nurse told her. And this nurse is the one that told me, when school started they probably wouldn't have the work for Derrick. They are needing two nurses all the time.

It turns out that they are training a new nurse to take Amanda's place when
she goes on Maternity leave the middle of August. Which means that the
girl that has gotten Derrick in trouble with many people will be there two or
three days. And a new nurse, So I'm wondering if the doc, is not sure what
to do with Derrick.


My thoughts are that if the Main nurse that always causes problems, for Derrick. Is going to be there with him. And they can't put a girl there that
can handle his disability, were they can't just say to him. Memorize the list of things to do. And don't come look at it again.

Sorry, but Derrick hasn't got the capacity to memorize. His memory is better with no seizures. And the med reductions. But its not that good.
I also wonder how they are writing the list. Amanda was well aware of his reading ability. And I'm guessing read the list to him, made sure he understood it. THe other girl, I'm guessing isn't understanding this.

I'm thinking the doc, is not sure how to handle what is coming.


Derrick, did tell me one of the girls he used to work with is on Vacation this summer. And the Doc, told him at one point. That she might have to have
her work with him. So maybe I really messed up things.

I just hope I don't end up getting him let go. This is and has been his dream
job. How do I go about fixing the mess I set up.


Yes, this is long. And since I ramble I'm sure its a ramble.
Try to read through and if you have to do sections. But please help me.

Donna:grouphug:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?s...787.1462553434
This is pictures of our dogs with Derrick, the littlest is nipper, the middle is Pigglet, and
the long hair prettiest is Wendy. Derrick's dog.



http://www5.snapfish.com/snapfish/th...NAME=snapfish/

This is Camp Wack, Derrick is the first picture you'll see.

Dear Donna,

It's probably ok to give him both, depending on exactly what is in the pills. Check with a pharmacist. Do you know what is causing his problem? Is it his medications? In addition to his meds, he might need to drink more water and eat a different diet.

She needs to be more helpful than simply asking "why." Instead of a "why" question she can tell him that he needs to get on track with what needs to be done.

They could prepare a list of 5 or 6 things that someone can type for him that almost always needs to be done for example --
1. clean the tables
2. check .. .
3. assist .. .
4.
5.
6. ask

My sense is that he is not doing anything wrong. At most jobs, when a problem arises, it is because there is not enough communication. It seems that someone in the office is not comfortable talking to him.

My feeling is that Derrick might need more structure. At the or start of every day someone needs to talk to him as a kind of a wrap-up. Derrick was used to that kind of structure in high school -- the teachers told him what was going to happen that day and then at the end of the day told him what he had achieved that day and what he is supposed to do for homework. The vet's office can't give him that kind of structure.

Perhaps at home with you he can write a list of 6 things that usually need to be done during the day. Have him write the list and bring it to work with him. Then he can show it to the trainer to make sure that he his list is good. When he goes to work he needs to look at the list frequently.

Do they already have a list? He CAN memorize it if he works on it. When I need to memorize I make a song that goes with it. Then I make a dance that goes with the song. If I clap and move and sing I can memorize.

When I can't memorize, I carry the list with me all the time.
Is Derrick allowed a place in the office where he can tape his own list to the wall? If they see him standing around they can point to the list and tell him to get back on track.

Derrick will learn that bosses like it when we look busy. He needs an activity he can do between things. For example, there is almost cleaning that needs to be done. People in the work place like it when we are doing something.

These are some ideas. I typed them quickly so if they are rambling I apologize.

M.

Great pictures, Donna!

Mari

The part about someone not being comfortable with him. I think
hit it on the nose. So this is what I'm going to work on.

Your idea's are great, and I like the idea of his list going somewhere
other than the main office, were he can go back to look at it. The
main office is the reception area, the girl there answers phone, and
greets people bringing in animals.

1. Its hard to stay out of the way. (At least he thinks he is in the way)
I'm not sure if someone has made him think he is in the way. But if the
list is in another area, its better for him.


2. The list changes every time he goes. So making a list at home
doesn't seem to me it would work. I'll think on that one some more.
If I can get him to tell me what he did, and write this down. Maybe
I'll see a pattern.
But usually its different each time.

3. Like today, outside work in the garden was on the list. But it
was taken off. Its over 90 and muggy, by 10am. The vet said, it
was to hot out for him.


It was better to me when I picked him up. He didn't seem to feel
anything with the two girls there.

And one of them if the one I have problems with. I have to find a way
to personally get around it. He does well, and it maybe more my
problem.

Thanks for thoughts. I'm going to see if the Job Coach, could come
even once a week. Or his aide could go once a week for a while to
see if they can help him get on track again.

Donna:grouphug:

Hi sweetie !

Ok, remember that in any job, there is always going to be a black sheep... yeah, an a**hole who will say bad things about people... so, try not to focus... if his direct coaches are happy with Derrick and his job, why bother about someone's else comments ??

Now, what is important is Darrick himself...

First, the bathroom thing... 20 minutes... does he indeed go ? or he just like to stay in there alone without doing anything ?? Sorry, I got a little lost on that part, but, if he has some trouble with pee/poo I think there is always a medcine that can help... if he only likes to go in there, perhaps you need to talk more with him until finding out why he likes to do that... maybe he gets tired or annoyed by people ?? and then we could wonder who...

About memorizing problems... Mari said it already but I will say it again... ALL MEMORY PROBLEMS can be solved wirh NOTES ! :D My boss and I do it all the time... (just look the pic of my desk... FULL OF POST-ITS !! :D ) Im nowadays a fan of notes and list... I even have fun doing them... they not only remember me what I have to do, but also, how I have to do it and when, etc... So yeah, Derrick might actually enjoy getting this costume of making lists AND taking them everywhere....

I like post.its because you can paste/take/re-paste them from one place to another one... and they have nice colors ! :p

Hang in there hun, we will solve this :) :hug:

i'm a big fan of post its too... multi colored... :) whoo hooo (Majo i love your desk for that! :heartthrob:)

agree on can Derrick copy the list. But i'd think it best if he could fold it up and just keep it in his pocket to refer to rather than paste it elsewhere. the other possibility is post-its where each task is on a different one. and he can stick them to each other and then to a surface near him as he goes from task to task.

agree on the bathroom issue
-- is it medical? if so dx and treat.
-- is it psycho-social? if so inquire as to specifics and approach accordingly
-- is he having some sort of "spell" that could be a sz or a panic attack... if he doesn't recognize what is going on the bathroom may seem like the safest place to go.
-- other - dialog with him until it is clear the reason for the bathroom time esp as you say it is not just at work.

basically i agree with the others 100%. now i'm wondering why ihad to type it.

it was the post-its i think. heheh. i just finished making post-its for mom and me for what we each have to do tomorrwo for my meds...

~ waves ~ whose gonna be dreamin post its tonight.

Post its, would be great, except for a couple of big issues.

One Derrick, has problems spelling. So we have a issue with this.
But as long as no one but him has to be able to read the writing,
and spelling its okay.

Second, his handwriting is a little large, but as long as we can get
him to make it smaller. And I can get him to put as much hopefully
one word at least on a line.


I think the meds. we added are helping with bathroom issue. Now
just mom and Derrick to remember to take. I don't think there is
any other issue there.


He had a pretty good day yesterday, now to just get mom to stop
finding problems, yes miss worrier has to stop so much.

Donna:grouphug:

Sorry, no ideas
 

You've got prayers & all the good energy I can send your way on thus, Donna, but I haven't a single idea as good as the ones you've gotten. :hug:

How is everything my sweetie ?

About post its, they have got some huge ones... Not only the small regular ones... I have huge handwriting too :o :p

About the bathroom thing, if it is due to meds, just talk to his supervisors, they MUST understand !