For those of us in wheelchairs
 

What do you say when people stair at you ? That's the one thing I hate about being in a wheelchair . people stiaring at me like Iam some kind of circus freak ..

I haven't used a wheel chair, so I can't give you an effective response. However, if you can make eye contact you can then either talk to the person, or scare them away. It's human nature to be curious about something different. If it's a young child staring, they may have never seen someone in a wheel chair before. It's an opportunity to talk and teach. You can say something about how it's hard for you to walk, and the wheel chair gives you your freedom.

I did have a roommate in college in a wheelchair, and he didn't mind people coming over and checking out his wheel chair. It was a very cool one...he got a special hand operated bicycle attachment so he could go really fast in the bike lanes. He wore a helmet, and went faster than a lot of use on bikes.

I usually try to check out people's wheelchairs, especially after I developed a condition which is likely to put me in one. Maybe that's what people are doing to you, checking out your chair, not staring at you.

Well, there are a lot of comebacks you could use, ranging from humorous to more assertive...and I agree that whatever response you use would have to consider the age of the one staring, and probably even in what manner they are staring. (Those who actually stop dead in their tracks and turn completely around are the ones who get my goat the most!:mad: )

Some suggestions: (some taken from Apparelyzed's site)

** You know...walking is soooo overrated.

** Oh my God! (squealing with delight) Are you from the 'Pimp my Ride' people?!

** I'm only in it for the good parking.

** Don't feel bad for me...my other ride is a Harley.:cool:

** Sorry, it's not for sale.

** I'm sorry! Did you want to say something to me? Can I help you with something?

I have, on several occasions, and again...depending on the initial age/rudeness of that person, stopped dead in my own tracks, turned around and stared right back....and I never break my gaze first!!

With children, I see their curiosity as an opportunity to make a positive connection for them about people with disabilities. I'm much, much more 'kinder and gentler' then. ;) :)

If they want to stare? I'll let that remain their "issue." :D It could be, for many reasons, someone may look a bit longer than might be polite:

Maybe I'm having a super good hair day and they're jealous :cool:.

The "thing" that feels more crummy, to me, than someone staring is: Totally overlooking me. For instance: There's an electronics store that has "greeters" who say "Have a nice day" to customers exiting the store. No matter how many times I've visited the store: The "greeter" has never said a word to me, yet... along comes a friend, who actually has been in the store with me, trailing behind and what does the "greeter" state: "Have a nice day."

If someone has a question, though, I'd just prefer that the person approach and ask about what's on his/her mind.

As others mentioned... There are some who really are curious about chairs: where it was purchased, the materials it's made from, its weight, and so on.

Mainly, though, people have been very nice; it's non-automated entrance/exit doors, signal lights and aisle-ways that create more grief than do most people I encounter.

Generally, people are extremely thoughtful, i.e., store clerks and other customers asking if I might need some help (reaching something, moving something, opening a door... etc.). If I can't reach it, yep: I'll accept the assistance. It sure beats wiping out a bunch of products trying to "hook" something with my cane :D.

Hi all
I find my hubby the worst l have a wheel chair that I used to use, when we went shopping, as l have spinal and foot issues, but when we went shopping he would get embarrassed so l have stopped useing my wheel chair, I suffer for it in the long run but I just don't want him to feel uncomfortable when shopping, it's not the other one's that stare at me that worries me it's his embarrassment that get's me the most.

Well, I don't have a chair, I have a scooter. But, I do get the looks and the comments.

Depends on what kind of a mood I'm in:

* If I'm in a bad mood and in a lot of pain and someone says they want "one of those" -- I tell them I'll give them my spine and they can go get they're own chair.

* If it's a kid staring and staring, I usually say something like "I like yours better!!" Then I beep my horn at them!!

* Sometimes people come up to me and ask about features and insurance and stuff. I ALWAYS get that at the flower show.

There's nothing wrong with being in a wheelchair, sugar. It's just like eyeglasses. It's a tool so that you can continue to have a life.

You might want to get a t-shirt. That'll really get some eyes rolling :p

Hugs.

Barb