Well, we admitted my niece last night :(
 

I guess it's a good thing, she is getting the help she needs. I'm so sad for the poor little thing. She is only 14 and she is so lost. I spent the night with her in the emergency room, then they transported her to a facility where they will keep her for the mandatory 3 day watch.

The really sad part was, we couldn't find her mom anywhere! We knew she was at her boyfriends house, but his phone went straight to voice mail and his mail box was full.

I had sat with her mom the night before and told her all about what her daughter was feeling. Put it all on her plate. Then, she leaves the next day and leaves her home alone with her 15 year old brother and his friends.

My niece came to my birthday lunch, and we kept her with us after that, went to my other niece's house to bake cupcakes and watch funny movies. It was sad, you could see that her "light was out"... she just wasn't inside there.

Halfway through the movie, she started crying, and really let herself just go into a full blown panic attack. Then she started with chest pains, trouble breathing, hyperventilating, and passed out.

Because she had been threatening suicide for the last 3 days, we didn't know if she had taken anything or not. We couldn't wake her. We tried water on her face, slapping her face, noogie on her chest bone... nothing would wake her. So we rushed her to the emergency room.

She woke up in the ER. Still by 6am, we couldn't find her mom! It was so sad. The doctor said it was a MANDATORY 5150. They were taking her to the hospital for 3 days and we had to let them. I was happy, because that was what she needed. Her mom wasn't going to help her, and this was the only way she was going to get help. Whether it was faked, or real, it was a big SCREAM for help!

When my brother called her mom, (who finally came home at 10am) to get details, she said "this is too stressful, I don't know what to do with her, you need to take her, here talk to your son!" (his son is the 15 year old who she would have been left with, if I hadn't kept her with me).

I talked to my brother this morning, gave him the whole scoop... he lives in Minnesota (job transferred him there) and we live in CA. He desperately wants his daughter to come and live with him and his wife. She is a stay at home mom, (they have a 2 and 3 year old). I was mad at him, but we put that aside to help his daughter. He has a house with a room for her.

I think it would be best for her to move. However, as a teenage girl, about to enter high school, moving across the country is pretty traumatic. But realistically, so is attempting suicide and spending 3 days in the hospital! I think it's time for some dramatic changes in her life!!!!!!!!

What do you guys think?

I think you are doing the right thing...again I say..you are a blessing in this girls life. Moving will be hard but staying with that "mom" is a mistake. If ever there was a cry for help, she sent one!!! :grouphug:

I also think you did the right thing. You must have been terrified when you couldn't wake her and I cannot begin to imagine what horrible thoughts were going through your mind. :hug:

What a shame it took so long to locate her mom. No matter what her age, a girl usually needs her mom when she's ill and mandatory admission or not, your niece needs medical help. It's good to know that she's getting it.

Yep, you did the right thing! Sadly... her mother's focus is not on her daughter right now as she made a choice to be away from her on the day (and night!!) she was needed the most!

I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you all... and I say thank goodness her Dad wants her with him. Its going to be tough but perhaps this change is exactly what she needs....

:hug: to you Seams!

I went to visit her, and she is really a mixed up kid!
 

What an interesting visit I had! Her mom and her best friend and her mom showed up! I learned a LOT from her best friend and her mom.

She had been making up really elaborate stories about herself and her mom, that they were very sick, and dying. That her mom had actually died, and now she was in intensive care somewhere. That her aunt (not me, but some other made up aunt) was texting the best friend's mom (from an APP she had downloaded into her computer that generates random phone numbers she can text from) and telling them all these really detailed lies about how her mother had died, and now the daughter was very sick in some special hospital in another state, and no one could call out because the service in the hospital was bad, they could only text.

The best friend, her sister, and mother were worried sick and couldn't reach anyone to find out what was going on! They finally drove to their house, and my niece had convinced her brother to hide and turn off all the lights and pretend no one was home. She made up another lie to her brother, convincing him that they should hide from the friend and her family.

Eventually the mother drove by again and saw them all through the kitchen window, and saw that they were all healthy and in the kitchen. She was furious, and cut off all communication with her daughter and my niece. Apparently this is when the depression and cutting started. She came to me and my other sister in law and confessed "some" of the lies, but we had no idea she had told so many and so elaborately!

What would make a 14 year old girl do this? Why would she have her best friend, her older sister, and her mother all upset, and continue to call the mother at work six or seven times a day... giving her more and more devastating news about herself and her mother?

Is she reaching out for attention? Is she trying to hurt someone? Is she angry? What would cause her to make up such lies?

Oh, one more thing.... after she "confessed" to all the lies.... (before her episode where we had to admit her) she told us her mom had given her money and had told her it was O.K. for her to get her lip pierced. Well, I know her mother, and I know there was no way on earth she would give her permission to do that! I told her I needed to call her to be sure, and of course there was no answer at the number we tried to reach her on.

Why would she confess to all the lies she had told her friends, then in the next hour, make up a lie to me and do something that would make her mother mad at me?

I'm praying for her because I do not know what else to do to help her!

For Seams
 

You are between a rock and a hard place - trying to sort out the truth from fiction. She needs a really good therapist. If money is an object then she should find a mental health center that charges according to what the client can afford. They are everywhere. Hugs to you in this trying time.

I guess she is sad, hurt, lonely and desperate. :(

I've been thinking of you today and wondering how your niece is doing. I also wonder how you are doing.
Please do let us know when you can.

Seams

That is so great that you helped in getting your Neice to the hospital.

I am hoping that they start some effective family therapy...

Seams
 

It seems like I did some godawful things in puberty & even older. I don't know what caused it in me but I got over it. I hope she gets over it faster than I did. I think sometimes poor decisions just snowball and get a life of their own. If you love her and help her as best as you know how she is very lucky indeed. I will hold her in the light.