Just thinking about life ......
 

Sorry if this topic is a bit heavy, but have you ever stopped to ponder your own mortality?

Although the years are certainly speeding by rather quickly these days, I do not yet consider myself to be old.... not yet anyway.... but so many of my friends and colleagues are dying around me.

My parents both died young but my elderly relatives are dying now, and the parents of my close friends are dying now..... I expected that.

What I didn't expect are the (what I think are) large numbers of colleagues and friends my own age who have passed recently.

Since I left work 4 years ago 11 people who were close to me have passed away. All in four years! :eek: They were my brother, 5 work colleagues, 2 close friends, 2 BFF's mothers and an aunt. My girlfriend's mothers and my aunt were in their 80's so I can handle that, but the other 8 were all aged from mid 50's to mid 60's. That is not old!

Last month 3 people who had been close to me died within 4 days of each other and this week there have been another 2. I feel that I'm rather overcome with mourning .... mourning them all at once..... and I'm not sure if I'm thinking more about my own death than one would normally do in the same circumstances, but I am thinking about it and I do feel sad.

I thought I read somewhere that we were an aging population. :confused:

I hear you Anne. I'm 70 and still don't consider myself old. If it wasn't for the MS, I'd still be out running around with the best of them..:D

My MIL was 70 when she married for the 2nd time and they celebrated their 21st anniversary, before she died at 91 and he lived on until he was 95 (looking for a 3rd wife:D)

I don't seem to have too many old school chums dying, but had a few younger ones die, in the years back in their 30s & 40s. My own DH was only 66 when he passed..way too young, IMHO.

Yes I think of my own mortality and it scares me, so I try not to dwell on it. It happens to all of us, but I just can't fatham it happening to me..:D

Except for MS, I'm pretty healthy, but that could change in an instant, as we all know.

The worst thing we can do to ourselves is dwell on it and make it happen sooner than it should.. Let's not..:hug:

Been think a lot about it lately. Saturday I went to a funeral of a 56 year old woman. Today we went to one of a 61 year old. Is this what life is going to be like now.

My own mother was 57 when she passed and I always thought that was far too young but now that I'm around that myself, I'm shocked to find so many people of a similar age who are no longer with us.

So much for the advances of modern medicine.

My opinion is that spending some time thinking about one's mortality can be a good thing. Coming to terms with our mortality makes a difference on how we live our lives.

That said, yes, it is unsettling to think that, realistically, the biggest percentage of my life is behind me. If I glance through a list of death notices, the younger ones (meaning my age :D) leap out at me. But if I make a point to note all of the ages, MOST are much older.

Too much modern medicine! I truly believe that it sometimes speeds up the dying process instead of slowing or reversing it.

I've thought about death nearly everyday since my DH died at 47. My cousin passed away recently - he was 43 - but he was an alcoholic and had numerous health issues. It wasn't a shock.

Like B2Y said, coming to terms with our mortality makes a difference in how we live our lives. I try to live each day as if it's my last.....and not do or say anything I'll regret. And not leave things unsaid. There's nothing worse than the feeling of not doing or saying what you feel and then not having a chance to correct it.

Of course I will have a different point of view on all of this. So what's new, right?

I find it ironic the title of this thread is, "Just thinking about life....," yet the entire discussion centers around death. Kind of bass akwards to me.

Death is a natural part of the cycle of life. You cannot have one without the other and that will never change. However, when one decides to recognize it and adapt to it, there comes a completely different question as we are all unique in our own personal journey and there is no established rule.

Personally, I have no fear of death and fully accept its eminence. To recognize and accept its perpetuity in one's own existence should give rise to understanding how to exploit the opportunities, or blessings, received each day. It is for this reason I push the envelope every day, sometimes too far, but fully accepting the consequences versus not pushing at all.

Yes, it is sad when those around us die and regardless of the reason. There will always be a feeling of loss. This is the key principle why each of us should take advantage of the time given and truly express ourselves to friends, neighbors and especially relatives before their time comes. The feeling of loss is one thing. The feelings of loss compounded by regret are indeed another story. Guilt in life may weigh only ounces, yet regret weighs tons.

Rather than mourn the loss of someone, I choose to celebrate their life and its positive impact on me and others. Recognizing their assets in life are more respectful than focusing on the loss and what shoulda-coulda-woulda been done had we known. I believe we are all spiritual beings having a human experience and that spiritual force is indestructible, only changing form. The person in the casket is not the person we once knew in life, only the biological unit and remains of their earthly vessel. The person we knew in life has moved on. Besides, who wants their last memory of that person to be a dead body laying in a casket versus the funny, gregarious, or obnoxious person we knew in life? There is a big difference on the lasting impact.

OK, I've shared enough on this and realize many will not agree. That is neither wrong nor right, it just is.

Actually I do agree Craig and I thank you for your wise words. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned sadness and a feeling of loss with all the deaths around me. In my initial post I said "I feel that I'm rather overcome with mourning .... mourning them all at once".

I personally have no fear of dying and I do normally celebrate the life of a friend or loved one who's passed, but these past few weeks have seen the demise of 5 people who I was close to. That's a lot of losses to bear.

Yes and you are absolutely right. When it all seems to hit at one time, we have no choice but to bear the burden as best we each can. I'm glad you came here to share your feelings and actually provide a benefit to others as well as possibly received benefit for yourself. You will be just fine as you continue your journey.

May Peace be with you.

I recently saw a post somewhere that said.

Just when the catapiller feared the most and tucked her head in to greet death, her body transformed and she flew off leaving behind the very thing that troubled her most in the world. ~anon.