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pain took over sleep awoke 2:00 a.m
good day
well this is now over a week that pain has awakened me somewhere in this time a night i couldn't sleep at all my whole body is cry in pain my neck, back, arms and the knees and down both feet took a 4 mg muscle relaxer as my tense body is stiff i finally made it to my pcp sending me yet again to another pain specialist for what is called a pain pump he told me of a patient who suffers similar too myself and said it has given back a life she had forgotten she lived she was lucid and comfortable i know my body better than any doctor i told my pcp without a doubt second surgery took most of my life from me and that my surgeon is so arrogant and not responsive to my calls and treats me as though like my daughter heard him say to a nurse after my second surgery how i was one of his most "problematic" patient and even though he was called on his dung only humbled him for awhile i still haven't fused yet all meds i am taking is just more than i would like i can't take lyrica for fibromyalgia because of its side affects therefore i just live with the constant tingles and scratchy piercing deep pain of it surgeon won't hear any of that let me remind those following my story its too is in my head do i take all this and start with yet another neurosurgeon going through all the test, oh jeez i'll NEVER forget the discogram ever with all its complications nuclear stress stress two series of cirtizone shots in my back (unsuccessful) 3 conflicting ENT'S the array of drugs and its reactions deadly that included patches the umteen x-rays cat scans 3 emg mri's the loss of hair god the beautiful thick hair still falling out the hardware plate, screws, cage cadaver bones the violation (sexual) by transport employees reported hematomas that need draining several times the cane and collars JUST TO MENTION A COUPLE my thyroglosscal cyst that has become active and grown now a lump in my right breast oh and horners syndrome after second surgery what does one think when left in worse status than before anything started pain in the neck radiating down my right whole arm numbing and tingling in fingers knees and feet i'm like take me away on my 3rd approved leave and a lawyer telling me you need to see a 2nd neurosurgeon to show and back me on any wrong doing im already good for almost nothing can't cook my passion can't drive it hurts to take the elevator enough thank goodness for my shrink and this forum that humbles me but damn it i want to sleep need to return to work i'm only 50 years young i want to live be able to get a hug without hurting hold my beautiful new 1st grandchild eva be able to share intimacy ya know talk about depression i'm sick sick sick of it jeez the money made off me blows my mind EOB's and to be left in such a state yeh you could say i get angry once in a while could have been worse typing away hurts but helps when i can vent i apologize i shut up and try going back to sleep without nightmares having quite a bit when i do get sleep to all that need healing may we give thanks waiting for better days thank you for letting me share any input welcomed so now we are talking pain pump wishing all a better mood and restful sleep:Red eyes: |
nothing has changed
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not much has changed physically learning how to operate manipulate my body my head locks i can get out of it arms really BAD especially right arm elbow and up tearful pain do not forget that is on quite a bit of medicine i have decided going to yet another neuro and bone specialist now more surgeries finishing reconstruction as i had a double mastectomy after that i'm done back to regular check-ups dentist eye etc. i usually focus on a blessing and womens health sub: breasts check yourself |
Hi Eva,
So very sorry you are still suffering so much. It breaks my heart to hear how much pain you are in. I'm not on the forum much, my hand hurts so much to type, so I read, but have been limiting my posts. Im having another surgery next week also, my arm and hand, it's called an ulnar nerve transposition. Same neurosurgeon who did my neck is performing it. I'm really hoping it helps with the pain and weakness. My neck is doing pretty good. I'm fused, and although I still get some pain and a achiness in my shoulders and traps it's really much better then it was. I'm on a low dose pain patch and that helps for the most part as long as I don't overdo things. I wish you had the same results as me, life is just not fair sometimes. I don't know why we are dealt the hands we are, but you are a very strong person, and try to stay as positive as you can throughout your journey. Hugs and prayers to you. Wishing you some good results and some much needed pain relief. Take care, Cathie:grouphug: |
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God Bless and quick no problems healing |
Hi Eva
You have every reason to feel as you do. I really am sorry you are suffering. After reading the post on all you have been through it makes me feel so helpless and sad for you....I really hope a pump can help. I know a lady who has one, I take it they are talking about a morphine pump. This does work for her. It is A Vets wife who has it. Her spine is terrible and she is bent over to a large degree. I hope that relief can be found, and that you get doctors that will help you to the best of their knowledge. It sound like some of the docs. you have had in the past, didn't serve you well at all. I will sincerely pray, that the right kind of help is found for you. I wish I had the right words to try and comfort you in such a bad situation. I also hope you don't have to go through any more tests that don't help you anyway. Do you have faith in your current doctor.? There are lots of medications to try too, maybe ones that won't have the side effects that are bad. You are always in my prayers Eva, I do care about you. ginnie
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dear friends
i am sure by now you could figure out i am in a few areas posting my original post started here in this forum i spend most my posting on a sub forum pain pump title: focus on blessings a place where i began looking into since i have a doctor i have not seen yet for a pain pump many things have happened since finding this site too me a gift GOD is who i lean ON i made a promise i will post everyday and be thankful for something in that day all started by one very wise person with strong FAITH anyhow i am scared it came out of nowhere and is traveling till i see a doctor i come here and read i have and continue going to all kinds of doctors last for skin cancer i had my radical mastectomy january 2012 it is a 7 year treatment pill form chemo that is not why i am here i have continued to rot as that is what it does deteriorate is that better i am now experiencing at times piercing left side of neck and radiates upper left back arm weaker than usual my body completely different inside meds are kicked in hope i can accomplish what i would like i am sure i will but at what expense i wonder i am frazzled i dare not ask for serenity to all who suffer i am sure successful outcomes are happening i am trying my best getting information that is necessary making decisions life altering decisions malinda is someone i look forward hearing from cat i hope your doing better how did the surgery go and what can you share as the days go by because having failed fusing the first time and then 2nd not any better actually worse have to wait for spacers come out then i can have test april is one year better yet doctor seems to think by behavior he is not concerned he doesn't know himself happy i responded and called him on his poop i will yet need to go and pick up my records that will be interesting i am relentless just spit out the truth as if my Horners syndrome is not by his hands no one else was in there so much for any respect i had for him ALL GONE to all have a blessed day |
Oh Eva,....
I too know what it is like to loose faith in a doctor. That makes these medical issues so much more difficult to deal with. I didn't know you had skin cancer as well. You need those specialists in your corner to help you. Please do not give up and just think there is no hope. Not all doctors are bad, and there may be another out there for you, who can instill hope and compassion. I wish I could help you Eva. I wish I was in your neck of the world, to be able to see you through some of these appointments and all. If you don't feel you are treated well enough, please go to another physician if you can. These doctors have our lives in their hands, our bodies in their care. They must remember their vows when they became doctors. Keep trying eva, to get all the help you need. My guardian angel is with Malinda, so I asked for an extra angel to visit you, and stick around you for awhile. I am sure he is there with you. :hug: ginnie
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just left a little few words on her back here for you lean on me if you need ginnie i don't have skin cancer but because in the past i am always the sun in summer and have had a few spots taken care of and continue preventative health i go every 6 months and she is also in the same building as my oncologists second office just by chance i don't think so love and hugs |
Hi Eva
Thanks for that post. tomorrow I will call my PCP that knows me the best. I did have three docs. not do right by me. I am not trusting the current situation I am in. Not enough time was taken with me to dicuss this surgery the ankle specialist wants to do. Never show me my MRI. So I will go to my PCP get a little help with records, and get some emotional help as well. I know when I am over my head. I will get the help I need to go forward. You are in my prayers, and so many on NT. I ask for the same as I find out all the information I need to move in a better direction. ginnie:hug:
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Hello Eva
This post was sent to me and I am responding in this way.
Psalm 30:2 Oh Lord My God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me Before any phone calls, before I did one thing,this morning I asked for guidance from God in all that I do from now on. Tears are drying up, and the steps are being taken, to get things in order. My PCP fit me in this thrus. Bless him. He knows when I call, that I am in a pickle, and he listens. Have the new pain doc. on Wed. Will get my records. I also decided to seek a lawyer. I did this with prayer. I was misdiagnosed, and left facing a wheelchair. That is the reason I sought out help to begin with. Before I confined myself to this, I had to make sure nothing else could be done. so I found out, that my diagnosis was wrong all along, and he did not do the tests he should have to spare me 7 years of agony. The tears are the reaction to anger. I talked to my pshchologist friend in Missouri this morning. He told me that doing nothing would not get me anywhere. Nobody deserves to be treated like a negleted dog, just because they are poor. I think I need to be heard in this. So I prayed and made a call. I expect to hear back sometime soon. Thank you for encouragement, I will lean on you. You are my friend and in my prayers too. I hope your pain is less today. I appreciate your caring about me. ginnie |
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