give me back my life
 

good day all

curious at what cat scan will reveal saturday
lets see fused or not
there are situations like mine
my neurosurgeon will not own up to possible failure
give me back my life
he has no answers what has gone wrong with
my left whole arm
both useless
my whole body just hurts
my back kills
my neck
swallowing
ear ache
headache
knees joints all joints
the cracking
while last emg around two months ago
shows nerve damage both arms
my left arm was just fine
until second surgery
now to have to entertain a pain pump
only angers me more
his arrogance and pass me on like he's done
what he has done for sure
is make my situation so much worse than before
any doctors touched me
i've done my homework
fell into the negative percentile
so hard to keep a positive outlook
amazed how powerful pain and anger
can take away from a being
just so tired
never a good night sleep
so much to be thankful for
this evil pain
i miss my dog

Hi eva
 

So sorry to hear you are in such pain. My first spinal fusion was not successfull but the second was. C3-7. don't let your doctors just pass you over. Go for another referal if you can. I want my life back too, I know how you feel. I was jumping out of airplanes, horseback riding, had my job. I know how depressed a person can feel. I hope I can give you some hope that things can get better. I know what it is to loose your health. I stay around this site for comfort alot. I wish there was a way to reach out to you, so that you will continue to try and get medical help. I had several neruo surgeons before I found one that worked with me, and didn't talk down to me. Our pain is very real, both physically and mentally. I am also sorry you lost your dog. Our pets comfort in the way no human can. I lost my scruffy of 21 years a cat last year. That hurt, I know your pain. Can you get another? I did just that and adopted a male cat two years old that needed a home. He helped me get over my grief. I didn't think anything like that would work but it did. Can you get another pet? I had no faith that I would ever get over my grief. This new animal made me smile again. I hope things work out for you eva. ginnie

oliver
 

oliver is his name

he is still with my family
sara my oldest married
gave her her first baby
moved here in march of this year
had to downsize
my three eldest children are on their own
couldn't handle a three bedroom
live on the 16th floor
did not allow pets
so hard to find a place that does
i miss him soooooooomuch
his love divine
a silky terrier
get back soon
have to get ready
having a biopsy done today
couldn't sleep
very tough night
it's raining here
oh does my body cry with pain
oliver true unconditional LOVE!!!!
so happy for you
you understand

have a great day

Body continues to decline
 

Expire
The additional changes and
additional ailments I have my doctors taking care of me

As far as my spine is concerned
There is a benign tumor on L4/L5
Making life just a bit harder
My arms hands and feet are not in good working order
Have had many things happen since this last post
Unable to return back to work
And having to hear retired just kills
So many changes
Including my spiritual lift in this journey
In Jesus Christ I trust
In Heavenly Father
I believe
Have let so much go
Amen