Wow.... room full of people......
 

Good morning! I am down today. It's been four months. I started my walks again...(controlled and steady steps) and I was starting to feel like myself again. I thought ok...I'll continue my walks and when I go back to the doctor at the end of December I'll ask about going back part time. I was so excited and confident that I would be able to...until last night.

I went to my Aunts birthday party at her home. I would say there was about 20 people there. At first I seemed to do ok. I visited with some relatives, played with the adorable toddler. It all seemed pretty good.

Two hours into the party most everyone was sitting down. I was standing next to my husband and all of a sudden I got unsteady. I was like ok. My husband saw this and pulled over a chair. I sat down and tried to focus and my head which was whooshing quietly suddenly increased it's volume. It was so loud I couldn't hear anyone talking.

My husband who is so awesome asked me whats wrong. I had that "look". I told him I needed to go outside. We went outside and I just started crying. A meltdown I guess. I'm not really sure.

Needless to say we ended up having to leave. My aunt is a doctor and is acutally recovering from a head injury she sustained a few weeks ago. She said she understood.

In the car on the way home I was shaking up. It was dark out and the headlights from the cars were getting to me.

I cried some more and honestly I dont think I'm done crying. I feel so overwhelmed. The holidays are coming and money is so tight. My husbands on unemployment and I'm on disability.

After last night I'm very scared. I woke up today and my head is whooshing and I'm very sensitive. The tears are coming way to easily. How can I return to work when I cant even handle a room full of people. I'm so scared. :(

Crystal, I can see how that would feel discouraging, but I think you should take heart. The fact that you were going for walks and starting to feel like yourself at four months PCS is encouraging.

Patience is the key (believe me, I know). You pushed out of your comfort zone and had a setback. It happens. Now take a step back, go back to basics, and do your best to stay "sub-threshold" of symptoms so that you can resume healing.

I'm at 6.5 months PCS and have gradually made significant gains, including over the last 2.5 months, for what it's worth. It's just a painstakingly slow process (or can be).

Crystal-

At 10 months out, I just had something very similar happen. I have been doing really good as of the past couple of weeks, starting to feel like 80% (instead of 50 or so) and have been able to do more with less symptoms.

Last week, my BF's boss asked us to join their office at their little town's Light Up Night. Knowing it would be loud and bright, I took my ear plugs and sunglasses. I lasted 10 minutes, and then had to go sit inside a friend's office on the main street until the festivities were over.

The amount of people walking in different directions around me, completely overwhelmed me. I was devastated the day after, because I have made so much progress with the dizziness etc via vestibular therapy. I NEVER would have thought that just standing there, (albeit with ear plugs and sunglasses), would do me in.

When we left after the festivities were over, there was a ton of traffic. I had to sit in the car with my BF's black winter hat over my face to tune everything out.

I was devastated for the next couple of days, as I thought I was already "past" feeling dizzy and disoriented. But, there is nothing I can do about a set back. Just learn from it, and move forward again.

Stress makes symptoms flair up even worse, so forgive yourself and your brain for having a rough evening, get some rest, and move on. We're here for you :)

That is really discouraging. I know how frustrating it is when "simple" things seem so hard.

But you are improving. It's slow, but it's happening.

I still get headaches in groups of people (even in meetings at work), but that doesn't remove the fact that I am now able to go to work and be in a low-stim setting. That's WAY better than I could do a few months ago.

Rest up, give yourself a few days to recover, and keep doing what's working.

I feel your pain....I am 13 months out and still have times when I can't handle much at all...but then there are days when I look back and am surprised at what I was able to tolerate....anyways know that you are not alone and tomorrow is a new day. Hugs to you!!

Crystal-don't get discouraged. You are making progress. It's soooo stinking slow, I know, but every day is one day closer to being healthier. People that know you and care about you will understand. The fact that you have so much stress with disability and no job for the husband just exacerbates an already bad situation. I know it is easier said than done-but try to relax. You are getting there.

I've had four months + of vertigo from my accident and just this week-this week-it's gone from the right side. All I keep hearing is time, time, time. Give yourself time.:hug:

Honestly, it will get better. I had issues similar to that for first 6 months. I'm now at month 7 and have been feeling amazing. I spent last friday in a house with 15 people for my roommates birthday party....everyone was talking, laughing, yelling, multiple small conversations, and a football game on the TV. It wasnt until we were about to leave that i looked at her and said, "this is the first time i've been in a social environment like this and nothing bothered me!". Its tuesday now, and i still feel amazing. Hope this lets you know that you will get better. Just be patient, listen to your body, and try to avoid situations you cant control the environment. I sadly missed a friends wedding because i knew it would be too much for me....and other important occasions. Feeling as well as i do now, makes me know my little sacrifices were worth it. Good luck and hang in there!

nightnurse...see this is why you are a nurse...even your words are healing :)

Thanks Nightnurse!! I too had to miss a friends wedding. It's tough. I know I'm gaining on my PCS. I just didn't realize how hard a crowd really can be. It's good to have an eye opener. I know that when I go back to the doctors I can explain what happened. I'm anxious to get back to work but I'm also very afraid of all the stimulia. My job in Cardiology is crazy hectic busy and my head isn't fond of that..lol I know if I push too hard my head would let me know. I will try to brush off all the stress and anxiety over money and jobs at this point. What else can I do??? Tomorrow we have a road race that comes by my house. Over ten thousand people jogging bye. I'm curious to see how my head handles that one... lol:)