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-   -   I hate my life (https://www.neurotalk.org/depression/161085-hate-life.html)

lcms0516 11-22-2011 07:15 AM

I hate my life
 
Every relationship I have been in, the woman(I am a heterosexual male) has had a problem with my health and blamed me for responding to their ignorance about their own health.

My (ex)wife told me a year after she left me, that she had always wished my disabilities 'would just go away'. She didn't finally admit she was disabled, until four years after I divorced her, prior to that, she AND HER PARENTS were in complete denial.

My (ex)fiance once had the audacity to ask me if people with brain injuries always got upset. While that is partially true at first, she had two of the same health problems I do. Along with the fact that she was emotionally abusive. She thought since she has a Masters in Psychology, that gave her permission to 'diagnose' me anytime she wanted. She said I had:

1. ADD
2. ADHD
3. Bi-Polar Disorder
4. Borderline Personality Disorder
5. Diabetes
6. Hypoglycemia
7. MPD(Multiple Personality Disorder relabeled Dissociative Identity Disorder)
8. NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
9. OCD(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
10. OCPD(Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder)
11. Panic Disorder
12. PTSD
13. Tourettes

I hate my life. I wish I hadn't survived childhood.:(

Alffe 11-22-2011 09:05 AM

That's quite a list! And in alphabetical order no less! I hope your ex doesn't go into private practice...she sounds very judgmental.

I'm sorry you're depressed...I'm glad you're alive. These forums are a great place to make friends, find support, and exchange information. :grouphug:

lcms0516 11-23-2011 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alffe (Post 826653)
That's quite a list! And in alphabetical order no less! I hope your ex doesn't go into private practice...she sounds very judgmental.

I'm sorry you're depressed...I'm glad you're alive. These forums are a great place to make friends, find support, and exchange information. :grouphug:

Thankfully, She probably won't. She hasn't worked gainful employment since 2006, and she behaves somewhat like a transient. Even though she was only working 3/4 time, prior to that job, I don't think she had worked a full-time job in years.

She was abused(emotionally, physically, psychologically, and sexually) from 4yrs.-old(when her mother married her step-father 39yrs. ago, which they are still married today) to 13yrs.-old.

I already had my own congenital health problems, then she said(over four years) I had all the stuff on the list.

I knew what she 'claimed' I had wasn't true. But it still hurt immensely.

ginnie 11-23-2011 12:06 PM

Re: non judgemental
 
Sorry you are having a hard time. I am glad you are still on earth. Here you will find people who are non judgemental. I am sorry you were harshly treated. It is hard enough when you do have problem. Having someone around to bring you down further doesn't help at all. Please keep coming back to the forum and do ask for others input. There are alot of caring individuals that will try to help you. Please hold on, and try to find one moment in a day that brings some kind of peace to your life. I use the distraction method, by diving into a book to take my mind off of the medical issues I have. I also come back here to neuro talk for comfort. It helps. I wish you all the best. ginnie

Rrae 11-23-2011 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcms0516 (Post 826891)

I knew what she 'claimed' I had wasn't true. But it still hurt immensely.

I can certainly understand what you mean. Sometimes family/friends can be 'judgmental' without even 'saying' anything. I can pick up the 'vibe' coming from them and that 'look' in their eyes, which says "Hmm Rae, you're gettin kinda lazy these days....and why do you say you "hurt"....you don't LOOK like you're in pain..."
My therapist has been working with me on this tho, and I'm getting better at not caring what others think. I do the best I can and I know I'm not lazy, nor am I a failure!

Try not to measure your worth by what others seem to perceive you as. We can't let them bring us down. Try to keep your chin up and BELIEVE that you ARE a good person and you have a purpose!
That list you shared is NOT who you are. Sure we may struggle with some of those issues, but it is not your identity! You can rise above those accusations and be all you can be. You have purpose and meaning.

Caring,
Rae
:grouphug:

Leesa 11-29-2011 03:54 AM

I agree with Rrae! You aren't defined by your disabilities. :rolleyes: And how arrogant of her to "diagnose" you! :eek:

Thank goodness she's your EX-fiance'. Can you imagine what it would have been like if you had married her? Good grief.

Tho it can be difficult, try not to let what others say about you, bother you. No one knows you completely. Besides, people who judge others are the ones with the most problems.

I wish you the very best! Please take care of yourself & God bless. Hugs, Lee

dirtygirl 01-02-2012 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcms0516 (Post 826635)
Every relationship I have been in, the woman(I am a heterosexual male) has had a problem with my health and blamed me for responding to their ignorance about their own health.

My (ex)wife told me a year after she left me, that she had always wished my disabilities 'would just go away'. She didn't finally admit she was disabled, until four years after I divorced her, prior to that, she AND HER PARENTS were in complete denial.

My (ex)fiance once had the audacity to ask me if people with brain injuries always got upset. While that is partially true at first, she had two of the same health problems I do. Along with the fact that she was emotionally abusive. She thought since she has a Masters in Psychology, that gave her permission to 'diagnose' me anytime she wanted. She said I had:

1. ADD
2. ADHD
3. Bi-Polar Disorder
4. Borderline Personality Disorder
5. Diabetes
6. Hypoglycemia
7. MPD(Multiple Personality Disorder relabeled Dissociative Identity Disorder)
8. NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
9. OCD(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
10. OCPD(Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder)
11. Panic Disorder
12. PTSD
13. Tourettes

I hate my life. I wish I hadn't survived childhood.:(

I can understand how you feel. I feel the same way sometimes. Depression is a hard thing to deal with, and having constent pain just makes it worse.

If you ever need to share I would be happy to listine. :)

Just let me know!

Ponygirl 01-02-2012 10:34 PM

Please, continue talking to us!!:) We're here for you!!
 
:circlelove: Hugzzzzzz

:You-Rock: Phyllis

ginnie 01-03-2012 10:44 AM

Re: hope
 
dear icms, Your soul is not defined by labels that someone else tried to put on you. I am glad you survived your childhood. Depression happens to the best of us. Keep coming back here. This is were I go for comfort and to realize I am more than what my disabilities are. Be good to yourself and stay warm, even down here in Fla. it is going to freeze. ginnie

PCS45NG 01-10-2012 10:15 PM

Can relate to so much here
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by dirtygirl (Post 837273)
I can understand how you feel. I feel the same way sometimes. Depression is a hard thing to deal with, and having constent pain just makes it worse.

If you ever need to share I would be happy to listine. :)

Just let me know!

I get made fun of at work :-( I have Post Concussion Syndrome that just doesn't want to go away and I went from being a good student at school did finish and then my extern for Medical Assisting then during that time was when it happened..I hit my head VERY hard on the doorway of my house and it REALLY affected me I can't do daily things..I communicate best on here because I don't have to talk..my speech is messed up, memory.. concentration, sleep. and my mood is all over the place and I have people calling me all sorts of things it's very frustrating because they have NO CLUE :-( people need to just watch there p's & q's !


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