So I went out last night and something terrible happened. Need some help and insight.
 

Since I've been feeling somewhat OK lately, I thought I'd show up to my fiance's mother's birthday party at a downtown casino. There was lots of loud noises (they were doing karaoke, noise from the slot machines, people talking/laughing/screaming), tons of people and lots of bright lights. When I first got there, I went over to the table where they were sitting..which was really close to the speakers. The sound became unbearable so I moved to the back where it wasn't so loud. I was hanging out in the back there with my fiance and we were chatting, watching/listening to people singing on stage. Everything was cool, I was actually enjoying myself and nothing was bothering me.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, something clicked. I suddenly felt like I was lost, confused, like I was not even there and didn't know what was going on. My fiance was saying something to me that was in regards to something we were just talking about minutes before and I kept saying "what?" because it felt like my mind hit a reset button. I rushed to the bathroom to splash water on my face..it didn't work. I was stuck in a daze. I felt as if I was literally and completely losing my mind. That was almost 24 hours ago and I'm still stuck in that daze.

I had trouble sleeping last night because of it. I tried everything, watching TV, listening to radio, talking to my sister...anything to get my mind off of it to see if it would go away. Nothing would work. My brain got so exhausted, I finally fell asleep.

When I woke up, I felt the same as I did last night but worse. Lost, confused, crazy. I started crying like a little baby, my mom came in and she tried to calm me down but it wasn't working. I told my mom I was considering checking myself in to a mental hospital. That's how bad it is.

I'm gonna try explaining the way I feel the best I can...and I just want to know if anyone else has gone through this, still goes through this, what it could be and how they got through it:

So I pretty much feel crazy. Lost, confused, not even here...I feel like I don't even know what to do with myself. I don't want to talk to anybody, I'm ignoring phone calls...I just feel like I need some kind of help. What could this be? Derealization? I read something online about it and some of how I feel is explained as a symptom of derealization. I wanna go to the ER but something happened like this before(this time it's worse) and they weren't able to do anything for me. Ugh...

overstimulated.. don't worry happened to me too
 

nwsmith1984,

Sorry to hear about you feeling so horrible. I understand completely what you are talking about. You were just way too overstimulated... people, noises, emotions, lights... etc and exhausted.

Around my 1.5 years PCS or so, my sister decided to throw me a surprise birthday party. What a nice thought... but it was too much for me. Same exact thing happened. I made it through for a bit... but ended up feeling similar to how you did.
Ended up in tears after and for the next few days and was completely out of it during the party. I felt completely defenseless like a baby too. Just try to completely rest and be nice to yourself. It was scary for me to experience those intense symptoms and I was terrified that they wouldn't go away. But they did... well back to my normal symptoms. It takes a few days of intense rest.

I understand wanting to go to the ER.. but you're right.. they prob can't do anything. Just intense rest and relaxation will do. I try to reverse the stressful damage. Take care.

nwsmith,

I hope you learned to never do that again. When you are having a few weeks of feeling good, you can then try very slight increases in activity and stimulation. You went from 0 to 100 miles per hours in one step.

I bet you did not even have ear plugs to put in your ears. You fiance' needs to carry a set in her purse and you need to carry a set in your pocket. Consider ear plugs brain 'protection' just like a single guy may carry some 'protection' in his wallet. Dark glasses can also be helpful.

As many have said, recovering from PCS is a marathon, not a sprint. You will have lots of challenges ahead with the busyness of Christmas. I have to become a hermit this time of year. Every store is far to loud and visually overwhelming.

Think of your experience as a set back all the way back to your previous level before your recent good days and weeks.

You are right that the ER would be no help. The only time the ER will help with a relapse like you had is when your blood pressure spikes and will not drop back to normal. Some of us have propanolol blood pressure meds available just in case. You may want to see if you can get a prescription of propanolol for those extreme times.

Rest up, lay low, enjoy time with your little guy and let your brain recover.

My best to you.

postconcussion - I'm sorry to hear you've had a similar experience as the one I'm having, I'm glad I'm not alone. And neither are you! Thanks for your suggested methods of getting past it. I, too, am terrified this terrible symptom won't go away. It's the scariest feeling ever when your mind is lost and you just can't get a grip on it.

Mark - Your right, I did learn from this experience and I didn't bring any ear plugs. I'm slowly learning piece by piece what triggers my symptoms. I've got a list going now. What is the purpose of the ear plugs, might I ask? Is there a reason besides the headaches and physical symptoms the noise causes? I don't have very strong physical symptoms, really. Very very rare light headaches and occasional dizziness. The only problems I'm having are mental issues like brain fog and this "derealization" or whatever it is I'm experiencing. Do you think the noise and lights etc. effect the mental symptoms as well? If so, I'm going to take your advice on the ear plug thing and carry them with me everywhere I go.

And to update you on the blood pressure thing, I went to the ER the other day for similar symptoms to what I'm having now to have blood drawn, urine sample and chest x-ray to make sure there was no infection in my body causing it. While I was there, my blood pressure was back to normal. Which is the first time since the injury. Thanks God for that.

It's definitely derealization. The best thing for you to do is not to give in to the anxiety. The anxiety will prolong the condition. You are not going crazy, you are not mad. It's a tough battle overcomming derealization, but do not become a nervous wreck because of it. Derealization easily becomes depersonalization and you begin to feel as if you are forgetting who you are, or feel as if you are somebody else... This is just the condition. Derealization is a Defense Mechanism of the brain, normally caused by anxiety. In this case, because your brain was already stressed, the casino set it in to protective mode, so to speak. It is not permanent, you must remember that. If your feeling of Derealization was caused by your head trama directly, it would have shown by now as your brain's inability to apply emotion to your surrounding environment, sights, sounds, ect. I do not think this is the case with you. I think it was simply your brain's attempt at protecting itself. It will pass, make your life as friendly as possible, so you can take down your guard.

The sound and visual over-stimulation is the primary cause of your problems. Most with PCS have problems with visual and auditory over-stimulation.

The brain fog is because the brain has fatigued from trying to process the visual and auditory stimuli. This will likely be your most problematic issue.

The ear plugs will reduce the sound by about 30 dB. They will also greatly reduce the background sounds (ambient noise) so you brain does not have to struggle to process the local voices.

Many of us have just learned to put up with the head aches. They do not stop us from going on with life. The brain fog and inability to process information correctly are the PCS symptoms that make life miserable.

I think this derealization you talk about is really your brain becoming overloaded leaving you in a confused state. When your brain fails to process your existence/environment, it can feel like you have lost touch with life. To me, this is just the most severe level of an anxiety attack. It is your brain telling you to remove yourself from the environment and duck for cover.

When you son gets to be a bit older, you may notice him occasionally becoming overwhelmed with a vacant and scared look in his eyes. It is his little brain becoming confused.

Our injured brains can behave just like an immature brain.

My best to you.

If your feeling of Derealization was caused by your head trama directly, it would have shown by now as your brain's inability to apply emotion to your surrounding environment, sights, sounds, ect. I do not think this is the case with you. I think it was simply your brain's attempt at protecting itself. It will pass, make your life as friendly as possible, so you can take down your guard.

I was just rereading your post, and this part of it I didn't really understand. Are you saying the derealization isn't caused by head trauma? I never had this problem before and I personally think it has something to do with the fact my brain has been injured.

I started feeling better, then about 5 minutes ago it hit me again..it feels so weird when it hits, like I'm stepping outside of my mind or something. Very very scary. I've been doing nothing but resting the past couple days, so I have no idea why it's happening. I'm still trying to figure out if it's DP/DR or something more serious like permanent brain damage. I've been frantically searching online for...something. PCS is such a roller-coaster, I swear.

Believe what you will about it. I've told you, if you keep searching, you'll drive yourself insane. It's not a good thing to believe it's 'Brain Damage.' It's mostly psychological. I was saying that if it were due to head trauma directly, your brain would not be putting emotion to your senses because of your brain's inability to process the information. You would probably need real damage to your optic nerve also, as well as in areas controlling sight, and sound, and everything else.

It's a defense mechanism you are more prone to with an injured brain, yes. I am not disagreeing with that. But, it is psychological. Concussion does not cause it, as it happens in normal healthy people with healthy, uninjured brains, who have not gone through PCS. You recieved overstimulation, so your brain protected itself.