Intrusive Thoughts?
 

I have been having a lot of suicidal ideation lately. I don't actually want to die, but my brain keeps thinking up ways I could. I mentioned it to my therapist, and she said it sounded like they were "intrusive thoughts" rather than organic and I should talk to my doctor about it.

Has anybody else had something like this? What helped?

OMG. I know exactly how you feel. I too had intrusive thoughts and told my doctor about them. I have no intentions of doing so. I told him that as well. They referred me to a psychologist. It's been almost a month and I still haven't been able to get in. (another matter)

I find myself getting upset because whenever I go to the Head Injury Clinic the only person I see is the Neuropsycologist. I know I have some problems in that area but I'd like to know what is going on physically to my head.

The conclusion I came up with is I'm frustrated by the whole process and how long it's taking. Sometimes I get tired, angry, frustrated and it starts the thought process. I'm not completely sure. I hope you find the answer and if you do please post. I will do the same whenever I get in to see someone...

YES! About 2 months ago, i was completely burning myself out working the nightshift, was in constant pain, and suddenly started having suicidal ideation for the first time in my life. How do you explain that to someone? It was awful and scary. It was also at the same time that my neurologist pulled me out of work and i suddenly was on home rest (both physical and cognitive). My therapist saw me spiraling down as well, so we increased the frequency i saw her. A month later, after reading "you can heal your life" by louise hay, and taking Healing Touch....i changed to being very happy and positive all the time. It took total devastation and chaos to make some major changes to my life to help myself heal.

Just wondering - does the ideation vary depending on your medication or supplementation regime/dosages? I'm not surprised that suicidal ideation could be associated with prolonged PCS, but it might be worth paying attention to the effects of any meds/supplements you're taking (and any recent changes to that regime).

Also, the days are getting shorter, so if you have seasonal affective disorder, that could be a factor as well. Just throwing out some ideas from a strictly non-professional point of view (these might be totally irrelevant factors in your case).

I have had the same. Struggled with suicidal ideation since I was 10 years old, after my severe concussion. It is a major symptom of depression. The brain gets exhausted and the thinking starts to focus on finding a way out of the mental fatigue and mental pain.

Those of you who struggle with this would do well to develop resources of people and professionals to contact. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques can be helpful at directing these thoughts.

Don't be afraid to get help. The skilled professional knows this is not a weak character issue.

It is often a total waste of effort to reach out for support from head strong and egotistical people in your family or friends. They will likely blame you and tell you to buck up and deal with it.

Oh my goodness, I see I'm not alone, I can't beleive what is going on.

Glad We're Not Alone
 

I am so sorry to hear that you have all gone through this, but it also makes me so glad to find out I am not alone in this. This has been driving me crazy. I am usually so upbeat, even though my injury, memory loss, and concussion have all been very difficult. I love my life and my family. Yet, there were a couple of thoughtless comments from people at Thanksgiving and frustration at work and all of a sudden I am getting these terrible thoughts about suicide. But I'm not really suicidal. My dreams have taken on an unpleasant theme of feeling threatened and lost. It has been very confusing. I am actually taking a sick day tomorrow, even though I am fine, just so I can have a quiet day. I go see my counselor Tuesday.

Hi winks
 

I know about those thoughts too. I get overwhelmed at times, combining medical problems with severe family issues leading me to a court confrontation. My brain just gets tired, and I guess I look for a way out in places I shouldn't go. Depression is a constant battle. I did go for coucil and I am glad you are doing that too. I also agree with Mark, those around you sometimes just tell you to get over it and go on. It is not as easy as that. I come back to this site often for support, so I keep going the right direction. I have found the kind of compassion here, that helps me through some of my darkest times. I get the courage to keep trying to move forward in my life and try not to beat myself up too much. I am glad we both found this site, and I do wish you all the best. My councelor is great, and it helps that I have known him for many years. Take heart, and be good to yourself first. ginnie

I struggled with thoughts a lot in the first 16 months or so. I think I conquered that for now but some times the thought crosses over but doesn't stay long anymore. I saw one psychiatrist and he wants me to take Abilify(?) and I told him relieve my symptoms and I will be fine but he doesn't have a clue about Post Concussion Symptoms.

I like to try CBT at some point. Luckily I didn't get hooked up into any meds so far.

wow...ditto. I def want to stick around on this earth for a while...but have to confess, had same thoughts here.

I blogged about this same subject two months ago. Thanks for touching on it everyone. I think the thing to do is make other people in your life aware (family/friends/medical professionals/etc) that you are having these thoughts and need to talk about them. The thoughts didn't mean I was going to harm myself-they kind of crept in out of nowhere, but that fact that they crept in freaked me out.