it's not okay
 

dear friends

i only speak for myself
someone who knows her body
my neurosurgeon maimed me
the second surgery
took me further down
i believe almost certain
my cyst thyroglossal has
been an issue and i need
to see an ENT again
what makes me scared and angry
all the pain i suffer
neck back shoulders
r. jaw r.ear headaches
arms fingers hand
legs feet
joints and so on
half of these ailments i describe
(AFDC 5/6-6/7 cadaver fusion plate with cage)
i hadn't have before any surgery
and since having them all has gone
down hill
he is not deserving of his practice
leaving me like this and not
owning up to his additional additives
my cyst could have been removed
became active during his care
i believe he wanted the room to himself
now i'm left wondering could something be
brewing with the cyst that caused my breast
to activate along with all tests x-rays and so on
my gut has never failed me in my lifetime
so it puts me on a hell of a road ahead
and i have no choice but move fast
i tested positive for breast cancer (biopsy and mri w/contrast)
if you type in
can a thyroglossal duct cyst cause
certain cancers
you'll see what i do
it is scary not looking to blame
but when you ask your neurosurgeon
"doc why is my one pupil different
than the other"
rather owning up and say
surgery was the possible cause
it is called Horners syndrome
his response was
"did you see an eye dr."
i have been wearing glasses
since 4th grade
my eye became different in size
pupil i mean not sight
i am so angry
i wake up every time i get
a chance to sleep and upon waking
i take my meds am reminded
i have cancer
as if it were told too me the first time
all i have is my God and my tiny family
i want toooooo LIVE!
i have caught him fabricating
in writing mishaps that are not true
my mind won't let go of this highly
possibility i am right
after all it is MY BODY
I KNOW HOW IT WORKS
i feel something brewing
and it doesn't feel good

Dearest Eva, I know this anger from a doctor that woud not accept blame for my loosing part of the upper roof of the mouth because he left cement under my gums when putting in a new cap in front. My teeth began moving, swelling in that area. Went to a Paradontist who operated telling me he found cement that had not been removed when cap was put in and caused infecion for months. When I informed the dentist and told him of his sloppy work (I had gone to him, as well as my family for over 10 years). He insisted it must have a popcorn kernal or soomething like that. I was livid. His wife (also his receptionist) called to tell me that she was upset because I made her husband upset. There I am, with part of the upper roof of my mouth now missing and they are upset with me. Not even "I'm sorry"!!!! It was my fault.

I was soooooo angered and upset for months, I believe I may have set off throid disease. You have to be prone to this disease in order for this to happen. Infection, stress are among some of the things that can cause this. So now for the past 15 years, I am also being treated for throid disease, along with everything else going on.

Nothing as serious as your issues; but I do know how upsetting it is when they (doctors) will not accept responsibility. Eventually, for my own health, I had to let go of the anger and prayed for him.

Eva, as always, you are in my daily prayers. Your posts on Blessings remind me of a bird , singing a beautiful tune for God and all the World to hear.

dear friend

so sorry you had that horrible experience
it is just terrible
to boot no apologies SHAME
it upsets me
you were in angles care
infections are deadly
happy it didn't affect
your blood
goiter runs on my mothers side
my lump (cyst) is something i was born with
during my mothers first trimester
there should have been a natural detachment of tissue
tonsil like it is sometimes called second tonsils
way in the back of my tongue
mine did not detach
however i never had problems
my tonsils were taken out at the age of 2
it could be many factors
that caused it to become active and grow
what gets me is he sent me to an ENT of his
i also went and got 2 more ENT'S in my plan
ready
all 3 extreme different opinions
his wanted it removed
so i ask why not remove during surgery
something that could have been done
he wouldn't allow it
so now i must see an ENT again
something is going on
swallowing has become more difficult
i feel it has gotten bigger
but most importantly it hurts
and i am coughing up phlegm like mucus
more and more as time goes by
something my neurosurgeon knows
he just ignores my concern
and tells me what i am feeling is surgery related
i don't think so
i have been a healthy body for the most
of my life
but now who knows
i tell them i know my body
i'm sure menopause may have added
a little something
you know hormones and what it does
well just another Dr.
i'm so tired of this all
but i'm not alone
you confirm my experience
thank you for that
what is going on with your thyroid
are your hormones now all crazy?
how are you being taken care of?
today my body and neck back and arms
are in more pain then usual
typing is difficult
i'll stop here
and wish you a good night sleep
as the angels watch over you

again thanks for listening

Eva, my throid disease was discovered thru annual blood test my internist. I didn't realize she had also tested throid as well. She called me a few days later to tell me I had Grave Disease. Never heard of it before. My internst then, informed me about Hyperhtroid disease and sent me to a specialist, who did testing and confirmed the disease. That was about 15 years ago. I was treated for the Graves'; which eventually went into hypothroid (low throid).I get blood work every 4 -6 months and have been on daily medication and will need the blood tests and meds for the rest of my life.

The main reason I mentioned any of this was the fact that I do believe; not only the infection, but my constant anger and being sooooo upset helped as well to set off the throid disease. The throid disease was discovered shortly after the after the incident with the dentist. That is why I finally realized, I unknowingly played a part in setting this disease off as well. I had to let go of my feelings of anger and eventually prayed for him.

Your poor body has gone through so much and still continues. With all this emotional, as well as physical pain; hope you don't mind my asking - what meds are you currently taking? Also, do you take anything to help you get sufficient sleep.? Not the best recommendation for some; but without Ambien CR, with all the spinal and PN pain, I would be unable to get any sleep at night. At least this, along with my pain meds, gets me 6 hours of painless sleep.

I have mentioned this before; but you are "all inspiring". With all you go thru, you still put together some beautiful music on the Focus on Blessings site. Love & prayers.
Gerry

dear Gerry

i understand your message
aside from a type "A" personality
i learned the hard way
STRESS is a part of my aliments
no doubt
i still take lessons
you are most certainly right
what is not in my control
i MUST let go
a job still in progress
in the end it is all in Gods hands
thank you for humbling me
i can't make others do the right thing
i can hold them accountable
for example my neurosurgeon
i called his office yesterday
left word i am getting worse as the days go by
less than 5 minutes later
a call from his office
to let me know payment for 2nd surgery
was sent out
and was being mailed to me
my response was
"interesting, you mean payment for
failed surgery"?
response
"i'm sorry eva i didn't know"
divine intervention
payment never came to me the first
try (surgery)
everything for a reason
i believe
i am responsible
never heard from him
he brushes things under the rug

thanks for caring

hope all is well

Happy Holidays

dear friends

dr. pain specialist
upped my meds
seems to be helping
RELIEF
let's not forget
my tolerance might have
caused it
relief for however long
i'll take it
i cannot believe
the state i am in
especially after the second
surgery
looking for another dr.
when other health issues
are dealt with
until then
RELIEF!!!!!!
my back was so bad
after walking about a half hour
you could feel the spasms with
your hand on my back
now cancer takes first place
hope others doing much better
not to many success stories
hope to see more

Hi Eva
 

I sure do understand your anger. My first neuro surgeon didn't do all that was required in my first cervial fusion C6-7. He never even told me there were more things wrong than what he addressed with that surgery. It turned out I had reversed the curve of my spine, and all the ones above fell like dominos. The second neruo couldn't believe he left me in that condition. Had another surgery to re-do 6-7 along with the hole shebang C3-7. I was not told anything, I had to get my records to find out what was wrong. I know your anger. I also know if you feel something is going on with your body, you are correct. I too developed thyroid problems, maybe from all the MRI's etc. I have 8 nodes so far testing negative. I don't know what caused them. It also took 6 years of complaining, to finally be tested for a throat condition. Barretts esophogus, it was not in my head about me having trouble swallowing like the doctors told me. I knew something was wrong. Follow your instincts all the way through your medical issues. You know better than anyone if something is wrong. I sure hope your medical issues can be helped. I am so sorry you are suffering so. It took me a long time to find the doctors who listenend to me. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. ginnie