10, 000 Years of Jewish guilt crashing down
 

I just got back from my workout at the Challenge Center. That is the facility that only works with stroke survivors. I love the staff and the people who work out there. But there are a couple of “fresh” survivors and I am watching them learn to stand or walk or transfer better. They still have “stroke talk.” I used to refer to it as “thick tongue,” you know the feeling you get when you have a mouth full of Novocain and your tongue feels thick and you have trouble making words. You also get to experience some of drooling and having anything you drink run back out of your mouth and trouble swallowing what does get in there. Think of the folks for whom that doesn’t go away in a couple of hours.

I feel so guilty taking the coaches time and time on the machines when I am so much further along the road to recovery. I am by no means happy with where I am. I need to start listening to people that tell me I am so far along. The problem is that I am not where I want to be. I swear, if one more Doctor tells me that brain injuries as complex as mine take time I am going to pop them. I miss the old me so much.

Hi!
 

First, I just want to say thank you for posting this. I'm sorry you've suffered from a stroke. I appreciate that you shared some detail of what this is like.
Please try not to feel guilty :hug: You are doing a wonderful thing to yourself by continuing on with your therapy. No matter how far along you are, keep at it! Like you said, you are not where you want to be yet, so that right there says that you need to be doing this. You are not wasting anybody's time.

You seem like a fighter and you have much determination. Try to make it a point to harbor the 'good/positive' things you hear, rather than the negative. I always tend to let one negative comment override 50 positive ones. I guess that is human nature, but it sure zaps the ol' self-esteem.
I hope this doesn't sound 'corny', but sometimes I would put a note on my mirror so I could see it first thing in the morning....write down a few of your good qualities and see yourself that way all through the day.

Please keep your head up and see yourself for who you really are - a person worth fighting for

Rae
:grouphug:

Good heavens --- you are the reason that there ARE therapists!!! I'm sure they look at you and feel a HUGE sense of pride and accomplishment!! :D Even tho' YOU did all the work, they helped you do it! LOL So do NOT feel guilty -- you NEED them. ;) And in order to keep their job, they need YOU.

I hope you feel proud of YOUR self too, cause you've come a long way! My gosh, just think of how much progress you've made!!! It's amazing, especially after having had all those surgeries in the last 5 years!! :eek:

God bless you --- and keep up the good work! You're an inspiration to all the others there! Take good care of yourself and keep us updated on your progress, will you? Thanks! Hugs, Lee ;)

I admire people in your situation so much. The strength it takes to comitt to a therapy plan and toughnitmout when things are so hard physically and mentally is just hard for me to fathom, I couldn't imagine myself in your position..

I know that statement doesn't fix anything, but if you are moving along then there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It sounds like you have the strength and determination to tough it out. Keep fighting as hard as you can, there is an ending and it can be a happy one