Newlywed and now caregiver
 

Hi
I've never been on a message board before... Here goes
My amazing , funny, vibrant husband was hit by a car four months ago.
We thought he was going to die but he survived and now is in the last of 5 hospitals - this one is post acute rehab-
They are discharging him as soon as they can( Insurance won't authorize)
He's not sae to come home - he is still on 1-1 ratio bec he is so wobbly and confused.
Bottomline- his family are not going to care for him-
It falls to me.
I get so much advice from people like " you will be wasting you life " " what about you" etc
In some ways I think it could be the most important thing I do with my life-
It's only been a few months but the drs. Say there really is not hope he will ever be independent again.
He has no insight into his injury- he thinks he's ok...
What's worse- there really isn't anywhere for TBI patients to go - except home eventually with family....
The case mrgs are pushing me into making a choice but I won't be intimidated or threatened ( that I'll be liable for the cost of his stay )
I don't know who I'm more angry at-god, his parents, the insurance companies or the administrators of the hospitals
What a ride- these last four months have been a blur..
Even when I'm not there with him- I'm sitting at home unable to live my life....
My life got hit by a car.
Thanks for listening

Bless your heart. :( I'm so sorry this has happened. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that it will be difficult. I PRAY that you will have a support system and also people who will step in so you can have some respite as you will NEED IT. I cared for my terminally ill husband for 6 months, and ALL our friends seemed to disappear -- none of them would watch him for an hour or two so I could run errands cause they "couldn't take it." It was "too hard on THEM." :mad: Good grief, how would they like to LIVE with it, and watch THEIR spouse die???

So I pray you have better friends than I did. And I pray your family will help out too!! A caregiver MUST get away for awhile or they'll simply go crazy from exhaustion, both mental and physical.

I wish you the very best. Please remember to take care of YOU too. And contact Hospice -- they are NOT just for the terminally ill, from what I've been told. They can send some respite helpers, plus nurses & aides to help you.

God bless and I'll keep you in my prayers. Hugs, Lee ;)

Know what you're going through
 

Hi!

Lee is right. You must take care of yourself too. If you do not take care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of anyone else.

I had 2 grandparents (one passed) with alzheimers. Aside from my multiple disabilities, I took care of them for 5 years. I was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts during that time because I was not taking care of myself. I then realized that I was no longer able to take care of my grandfather. The guilt and the depression of knowing I was not able to do it on my own anymore was tremendous. But I did not have the support that I needed. I realized having him in a home with others with dementia was the best thing I could do for him. My grandmother is now in the same home my grandfather was in. My point is that you must be aware of how difficult it is and when you can no longer do it on your own. I hope this is way down the road and you are able to be with him in your own home. It is not easy and you must use resources from the beginning to make both of your lives worth living.

I hope you have support. If not, seek it.

It is very unfortunate at times the cards life deals us. Know that there are people out there who understand and support you here.

Hello Osito1974
 

Welcome to NT :hug:

Reading your post made my heart just want to jump out of the screen to you! I am so sorry of what you are facing. You have every right to be angry....and all the other gammet of emotions you must be feeling. Allow yourself to express them. This is a great place to do just that.
Everyone here truly cares and the support never ends.

If you need help finding your way around the forums here, just ask. Here's a couple that would be good starting places....

The Caregiver's Support:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/fo...sprune=-1&f=56

The Traumatic Brain Injury:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/fo...aysprune=&f=92

It's really good that you are here. We are a compassionate bunch

Caring,
Rae
:grouphug:

Great to meet you!!
 

Osito,

Hello and welcome, :Wave-Hello: happy to see you have come to be with us, it a great place to be. As you can see we have a great number and caring fellow members here, welcome to a supportive and relaxing place. Have fun looking into the different forums. Our shoulders are here for support in many ways.

Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around. My thoughts and prayers are with you. :smileypray:

Darlene :hug:

I wanted to add my welcome to the others.

Also wanted to say. Its admirable that you are willing to take this on.
Don't lose your want to fight this. Its possible still for him to come
back. I would keep fightings.

Please visit the Traumatic Brain Injury group. There are some that
might have some ideas.


Next I'm wondering what state your in. I want to see if I can help
you find someone that can help you. There should be some agencies
that can help with issues that you are going through.

WOuld you be okay with me Private messaging you? I'm going to
give it a try. Its at the top and it will show you have one.

I am a parent advocate, but I know lots of resources for many things
in Indiana, and can find them in other states sometimes,

Donna:grouphug::hug: