Acceptance, moving forward, pushing through.
 

Well, about 2 weeks ago my symptoms took a turn for the worse. I've had more trouble finding words and even sentences...and overall just using my noggin' altogether. Lots of weird feelings, getting disoriented and even more overstimulated than before. For awhile there, I was kickin' myself in the butt...whining about why it's happening, why I was doing so well and then took a step back further...further than my recovery has ever been, even immediately after the injury (or when PCS manifested).

Then, I realized...there is no sense in complaining and worrying about why it's happening. It just is...and there is nothing I, or any doctor can do about it. Just sitting around at the house, trying to get as much rest as possible...No TV, limited computer time and just laying in bed doing nothing...cutting myself off from the world. It was driving me CRAZY. I would sit there and pick and pick and pick at every little weird feeling and thought until I would feel like I'm losing my mind. I convinced myself into thinking that I needed to be admitted to a hospital because I "couldn't take care of myself".

So yesterday, I decided to just leave the house...and push through those weird feelings and overstimulation. When I first left the house, I was overwhelmed by the sites and sounds of the city. I quickly became overstimulated and my brain started shutting down....but I kept my bearing. I got on the bus and was feeling quite disoriented. I just closed my eyes until I got to where I was going and continued....Anyhow, to make a long story short...I eventually pushed all the way through those weird feelings, overstimulation and disorientation. It started to become manageable. I had a pretty good day/night, got to spend time with my son and step-son and made it back home in one piece.

I figured out that...sitting around at the house makes things WORSE!!! I need to get out more and push through my symptoms...Once I push through and stop worrying about and focusing on all my brain injury flaws, I can function at a somewhat normal level. If I don't get out and stimulate my brain, I just sit here in the dark and quiet...letting my mind, weird feelings and thoughts drive me nuts until I feel like I should be admitted to a mental hospital!!

So, those of you that are a little further in your recovery and still experiencing symptoms...if it's driving you crazy to just sit at home doing nothing...Try to get out of the house more and see how tolerable your symptoms really are. You may be surprised at how well you manage.

Just don't push too hard and make sure you get plenty of rest after.

Listen to your body/mind.

Thanks for reading.

I'm really glad that you are doing better Nick!

I believe that focusing on one's symptoms can make a person worse. That's what the experts say. It's why I choose not to list what I'm dealing with in my signature and also why I don't like to list it or post about it all the time.

I have experienced a lot of two steps forward and one step back type of thing. And since you are personally dealing with a bit of dried blood in your brain - you never know when that might mess with what's going on with you... but I a so happy that you are just accepting it and dealing with it and trying to minimize its conscious affect on your life. (I hope that makes sense.)

I'm very glad to hear that you're feeling a little better, Nick.

I think there is something to what you said. I was in a similar situation for awhile--sitting around in the dark just listening to audiobooks. And while to a certain extent I needed to do that because my sensitivites were so bad, once I started gradually adding more activities, I found that I was able to tolerate them if I give myself break periods. I also found that by lifting my mood, some of these activities actually helped me in managing my condition.

Like you said, I think the key is to be very attuned to one's early warning signals (fogginess, headache, whatever it is in your case), and to take breaks as soon as these symptoms start to show up. I'm trying to plan my time so that I'm not committed to any particular activity for more than, say, 2 hours at a time (at the most).

It's a very delicate balance. I've also had situations where I overdid it, even though I didn't notice it at the time, and ended up backsliding for weeks. I think with a lot of trial and error, we become better at identifying our limits. And I agree that it's probably a good idea to try to gradually reintroduce certain activities into one's lifestyle, starting (obviously) with the ones that are least stressful on one's brain.

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"Try to get out of the house more and see how tolerable your symptoms really are. You may be surprised at how well you manage."

Im glad to hear that Nick!

Thats what everyone was telling me, so i started to do it after 2 month, i even drinked etc. I only got mild headache, but iv used for it, neck stifness from whiplash. You cant tell that i have TBI if you dont know it.

Now everyone is pushing me to start to work again soon, and im about to try out to return to basketball court in april probably...

Nick, you are 100% right!

When I got my second concussion, I felt miserable, had difficulties accepting the situation, felt depressed - you know all those "wonderful" feelings. Plus, a horrible headache didn't add any optimism...

Anyway, after two weeks of being miserable, i decided to get up and do something, since I'm miserable anyway. So, I went shopping and helped my husband with painting walls later. What can I say? The first day was pure HELL, but second day was better, and I felt 100% myself in 4, maybe 5 days (it was a while ago, so I can't remember). Of course, my concussion was mild an there wad no visible brain injury, but still...

Well, I've been reading your posts and I'm glad you're feeling better! Hope, it's something that will last :)

I agree I have found the same thing. A period of as much cognitive rest as possible improved my symptoms, slowly. Then it stopped improving my symptoms. A while after this I started pushing through the symptoms, which in turn improved them further.

I think the period of rest, and the period of pushing through, were both important and needed to happen in that order. When the rest stops helping, it is worth trying something else - CAREFULLY!

Glad things are improving for you too.

Good for you. Keep it up.

Sometimes I think I rested too much and didn't see any improvement. Now I push it through and some times I suffer greatly but I don't have an option.

I posted this before about pushing through in U.S. military which is very new and interesting.... Specifically addresses some of the major issues we all facing with mTBI.

CPR for brain.
http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/0...or-your-brain/

Awesome!! Glad to hear you were able to have a good day. Hope you're finding the balance that works for you long-term!