To push or not to push...
 

That is the question this Easter morning. I haven't been to church for almost 7 months. This is no small deal. Corporate worship was the central part of my week for forty years. It's a lot of long stories.

But I've had it in my mind that I can go for Easter worship service. Not the breakfast, not the Bible study/Sunday School...just for the worship service! My theory: if I get all ready and don't go, so what?

I took my shower, put together my least uncomfortable "outfit", and now I'm sitting here thinking that I'm already tired and mind-boggled, and church doesn't even start for another hour.

The larger issue I'm sitting here struggling with is that of when do we push ourselves and when do we not? When do I agree that it's good to push ourselves sometimes, to "fight back" so to speak. When do I simply say "I can't, I don't want to, I don't feel like it" and perhaps miss out on either a good time or a personal victory?

I go back and forth, back and forth. People say, "I want to do everything I can while I still can, even if I pay for it later." And I nod my head; yes, you're right. Then I hear people say, "I'm always sorry when I push myself. I know my limits and I'm not going to make myself sick trying to push it."

*sigh

I need to be out the door in about 50 minutes, and I want to/don't want to. Maybe this is easier for people who don't have decision-making issues in the first place. :rolleyes:

I know what you mean. Going to church is what I miss most about having a car and being able to drive myself places. But then I think.....how often would I actually go if I had the option? There are many Sunday's that I sleep late because I've been up too much throughout the night. Or I'm having sx that are easier to deal with if I just stay home. Or I know I'll have to talk to many, many people and I'm just too brain-tired to do it. I know that if I go I might just have a good time. Or I might find myself in a situation where I need to move quickly and have to do so in front of people who just don't understand my condition. By the time I've thought of all the reasons I should stay home it's too late to go anyway. :rolleyes:

Hi Blessings
 

I just wanted to wish you a happy Easter. No matter what your choice is for Church. Sometimes I really do find Church right here with the people I have grown to care about. We don't always have to go into a building to experience a community in worship. In a way, we do that by giving comfort to our friends here. So no matter what you decide, it is OK. This morning I didn't go to church, but I did call a neighbor and offer to take care their pet for two weeks this summer while they are away. Maybe in just being good to another person is really the meaning of church. I care about you too, and I hope this day finds you in good spirits. ginnie:hug::D

I think God doesn't care if you talk to him at a church , or if you are at home. Just that we talk to him...:grouphug:
You can watch a minister on tv or just read the bible yourself.

:grouphug:

So well put Ginnie, thank you.:hug:

Church is really more of a social get together, than a spiritual moment anymore... Always was, IMHO. (I'm Catholic) God doesn't care where you honor and love Him. Only the church cares, cause they want your Tithe.:) Send it in the mail, like I do and the Church will never chastise for not being there.;)

I know you miss it Blessings, so do I.:( :hug::hug:

My Dad never liked going to church because he couldn't hear well. He always stayed home while my Mom and I went. He cooked lunch for us and we always enjoyed it.

Like he always told me......"just because you're standing in the garage doesn't mean you're a car". Same thing with church. Sitting in a pew doesn't mean you're religious.

I miss the music.:(

ANN

I get so tired of the questions when I go to church. Oh Joyce, how are you feeling. Oh Joyce, I had a nephew that had MS and it was just so terrible. I admire you so much that you can still drive. What can I say? So I got out of the habit and that made it even harder to go back. Then you have to face the music. We haven't seen you in quite a while. Were you going some where else. Then I had to face my Mom. That was one of the most terrible things when she died. I hadn't made it back to church yet when she died. Sorry i hijacked your thread

You didn't hijack it, Doydie, you addressed some of the exact SAME issues I'm dealing with. I showered, got dressed, mentally covered all my maneuvers, etc...then at 11:00, I just couldn't pull the trigger. I kept picturing all those people--being nice, but being too much.

Again, nobody doing anything wrong--I know they care about me. My church family was there many times when my "real" family couldn't be. But sometimes even a "good" thing can be, well, too much.

Having headache issues lately, and while my church has been hugely supportive, DH woke me and said, you want to get ready? I said "are you nuts?! its Easter sunday!" I KNOW I dont have what it takes to do an easter service. The loud music, the crowds, the perfume, the extra lights, the extra cars, the extra smells from all the food dishes, the loud talkers, the hugs, the questions, the introductions to those I dont know cause they only come once a year...im sorry I DONT have what it takes. I stayed home. I simply was not able to push myself past my comfort zone on that one.

I miss so many things, like the music, and the socialization, and the worship, but by the time I walk out the door it takes me two weeks to recover.