The new me?
 

How do I find out who the new me is? One day I react one way, the next day another way. I don't ever seem to know what to expect from myself. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want to do. Every aspect of my life is just one big ?

I'm sure you've heard this a lot when it comes to TBI, and I know its been 2 years since your injury, but everything takes time. Finding out who the new you is isn't going to happen overnight. You've become accustomed to the old you for as long as you've been alive, and when your injury occured, your life changed. So, its going to take some time to find yourself again.

I think the first step would be acceptance of your TBI. Then, your symptoms have to become stable. After those first two steps occur, you have to learn work-arounds for your remaining symptoms/deficits. You might not be able to do a lot of things you could do before your injury...so, you have to find new things that you can do with your limitations.

I'm sure there is more that I'm missing. Maybe some others will chime in and fill in the blanks. I just want to tell you...there is life after a TBI.

Nick

Yeah lately that's been happening to me, sometimes literally i'll be in the best mood ever and all of a sudden i'll feel a small rush of something. Its REALLY hard to explain its like im having a type of anxiety.

Lately i havent been worrying about anything, i still scare easily and i've been getting fatigued a lot, usually early in the morning i'll be up for a couple hours then all of a sudden my body feels like it really needs a nap lol. Anyone else have this type of fatigue? What kind of fatigue is it?

So far my symptoms are:

-Dizzyness
-Fatigue
-Somewhat anxiety

I think i really am improving!!! Compared to what i was before, my symptoms right now are A LOT better. Thanks to everyone on this forum (=

I would also like to thank Mark In Idaho, telling me to lay off the hypochondria kind of made me irritated at first. But then i realized i really did need to just chill the hell out and let things run its course and thats what i've been doing. With the exception of the occasional small anxiety i feel so much better.

I think my last panic attack was 4 days ago and all that happened was my heart started beating faster and i took deep breaths and concentrated and that was it. As to where my first attack i was completely flipping out xD

I understant the swing in emtions, I go from 0 to cranky in a very short time. I have always been easy going, smiling when cranky, but now I don't ever feel happy, worry about everything (will we loose the house, will I have a career, have I failed my family, etc.) but seeing a counselor helps put things in perspective and I think that is the most important. Hanging onto the hope of each day, even when the day is the darkest

I've had to adopt an "I'll figure out who I am after my symptoms settle" kind of approach.

Otherwise, I drive myself crazy. I've always been very introspective, which I suspect makes some of the symptoms seem harder to bear.

roadrunner,

For me, I had to do an inventory of my god and reliable functions, those functions that are hit and miss, and those functions that are just not there anymore.

With this information, one can start to build a life and personality.

I know that I can not trust my gut responses most of the time. This limitation must also be combined with my flat affect. This it the characteristic of me that others see the most. I have to almost assemble a person and choose to live as that person. It means that I set some additional limits on myself as I interact with others.

For me, that means I need to avoid persons who tend to cause conflict, like two neighbors who are cops. They have very domineering personalities.

I have other acquaintances that I can interact with but know I need to be cautious. If they are in a controlling mood, I tread lightly. If/when they are more personable, I can speak more openly and candidly.

I also know that there are days when I need to limit my interaction with others.

As my wife recognized, I will categorize my days as to whether they are driving days or not. Same goes for interpersonal relationships.

Try to be ready to tell a friend in response to an invitation or other request, "Today's not a good day for that."

Those friends who have witnessed you struggle can be given the full explanation so that they can understand the simple "Today's not a good day."

For me, I have a number of factors that I combine to come to a decision. For example, my daughter is having a "gender reveal party" on Monday evening to announce the gender of the 'buns in the oven.' I know that there will be too many voices with one of them being overly domineering and another being too annoyingly cackling. I will likely be staying home.

I also limit the other tasks or activities based on a accumulation of factors. There are days when I don't use power saws. Again, a 'no driving' day.

In many cases, it just means I need to schedule my days so that I do not have too many busy days in a row.

Next Brain Injury Support Group get together, we will be having a bowling party. I will be laying low during to day so I have the energy for the evening activities.

I go to the movies when the theater has less people, especially less noisy kids.

So, you may find that you have a few different personalities to 'manage.'

Think of it as a monthly budget. There is only so much in the bank to draw from to spend. A little bit of planning and you can still make it to the end of the month with something left.

Hope this makes sense.

I am currently trying to decide how much effort I want to commit to for some future goals and opportunities.

We had a special speaker at Support Group last month. She lives by a motto.

"It's not how you survive the storm, but how you dance in the rain."

She suffered a severe brain injury while training for the Olympics that ended her Olympic goals. She now has traveled the world competing in the Paralympics and has won Gold twice. She does some motivational speaking and has not let her injury stop her. Her continuing disabilities are very similar to those of us with permanent PCS, word finding, over-stimulation, memory, personality issues, etc.

So, we can still dance in the rain. We just need to stay away from the thunderstorms and tornadoes.

Road Runner, you will figure it out. As Mark said, it's as if you have many personalities.

I used to be level headed, the peace maker, the one who thought things out and made solid decisions. Some days, I'm still that person. Other days, this crazy woman takes over and it's as if I've lost my marbles....I'm impulsive, I scream at people, I speak my mind and trust me, what's on my mind isn't always nice.

I've kept a journal of activities, foods, sleep patterns, weather patterns, etc. I've figured out those personalities that trip my triggers. I knew who those people were before the accident; my coping skills in relation to them have now changed.

It's helped me figure out how to plan my week to prepare for the things I really want to do, how to be ready for the things I have to do, and that it's OK to say NO, I can't do that.

It's also about acceptance. As we move closer to the acceptance that we won't be that SAME EXACT person we were prior to our injury, we are better able to accept and manage our new selves.