Anyone out there like me?
 

Ever since I found out I had a brain-tumor my life has been nothing but just plain difficult. My family doesn't really treat me the same,..like I'm half-retarded.I've had 2 brain surgeries in May and June of '09.
I went from this semi-successful guy who worked for myself in construction for over 20 years to living in a box. I have no friends since I don't drink or indulge in illicit drugs and frankly I'm fine with that.
People think that I have life handed to me because I've been deemed disabled,.well that's true,.it should be because by God I worked for it! I crawled around on the floor all my life working just to barely make the rent from paycheck to paycheck.Everybody knows what I'm talking about,..I don't think life was intended to be easy and still everyday is a struggle for me.I take a shower, prepare my own meals,clean out the cat-box,cut the yard, take out the trash, wash my dishes, laundry, even though I just don't want to do it. I keep this little notepad around to write myself notes, to remember what needs done, what I did,and upcoming things to do, because if I don't I'll have to suffer the consequences of forgetting. Trust me,.you don't want to have trouble with your memory! I can't remember the last time my kids called me.

Thanks for the feedback/support
 

Thanks for talking to me, and I read here you have epilepsy,.yes you certainly have had a rough road, one of my best friends and his mother have that too.Yes it really does feel like I was kinda chosen as an example for others, I just keep pushing forward through life looking for even a tiny place where I can find happiness and security and hopefully, this time maybe the rug won't be jerked out from under me. I had to go through alot of counseling to get where I'm at to keep from killing myself and I'm finding out
that maybe I need something more in life to keep me busy,..to keep my mind
focused on the good parts. Seems like I got a lot of baggage on my shoulders
and it's hard to keep carrying it.It feels like maybe the Good Lord is watching me,.I really need that to keep me between the ditches! Again,.thanks, thank you, and thanks. T/care

I was diagnosed with CNS Lyme Disease in January, 2011 when I did a 5-day hospital stint after collapsing at the clinic. I had just finished a 30-day treatment of antibiotics (can't remember the Rx name). Went home with PICC line and finished another 30 days. My neuro involvement started about a year or two before that with loss of memory, confusion, optical migraines (only THOUGHT I was losing it then), dizziness, shortness of breath, muscle weakness, loss of balance, etc. My boss (an attorney) came to my home accompanied by his wife and prepared to give me a job termination notice in a letter he had prepared, but had a change of "heart" (he has no heart) when all I could do was sit on the couch and swallow as hard as I could to keep from totally losing it.
I am a sober recovering alcoholic of 23 yrs. Have been on antidepressants for at least 21 years. . . . Anyhow, then unemployed, BUT STILL INSURED, received PT and went from walker to cane and regained my mobility very well. I had a terrible tremor in my neck and was dx'd with cervical dystonia, put on more Rx's, eventually lost my insurance due to lack of income and was declared disabled by SS in July, 2011.
Have to wait for Medicare till July, 2013. Probably should enjoy the benefits of indigence while I can!
I've been diagnosed with Polyarthritis, Fibromyalgia and chronic pain, but have only been granted Neurontin for pain. Really gets to ya after a while. My muscles stay contracted in shoulders, back neck and groin area constantly. I still cannot sit for longer than 30 min at a time without severe back pain -- You, know? Never mind all that. I am miserable physically, mentally and emotionally.
I have been totally sleepless for two (2) nights this week. Pretty much have alienated all of my family and friends from my outbursts of rage this week and believe I am quickly "losing it", what little I have left. Anybody?

Don't freak out and lose it! Maybe you're in a good place by just talking about it.

Hi there I'm new on here & noone has even acknowledged me. I understand how you feel
 

:hug:I am sorry I don't understand how this site works yet. I tried to post when I first joined & noone answered me. I have a brain aneurysm that is located in a bad spot and has a large opening with a bulge on both sides. I am going in next week for the third try to put a new stent; The Pipeline stent" the first two tries failed as I started to hemorage; so the surgeon aborted. I am very nervous and feel all alone. all my friends seem put out with me cause I am not well and I try not to talk about my condition. My kids all live far away & have there own lives but they are not around for me. I am a widow' so no husband to comfort me. Yesterday I had to put my little dog to sleep. I had him 14 yrs and I miss him so much; he was my best friend. I don't know that my situation is as complicated as yours; but it has been life changeing. Never knowing if this thing will rupture is an eerie feeling; people treat me different. I hope you get to feeling better and I just chalk up tthe memory thing to, Having a Senior Moment!!! I wish you the best & thanks for reading this.:hug::)

Rambo and gravelgert57

We are here if you need or want to talk. Please just keep talking. Not sure where to send you to talk. But we will listen. Let us know what you need.

We have a mental health area. Maybe you could come join some of us.
And find some one to talk too.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

Here's the main page listings of all out forum topics & conditions - So you can find ones that you are interested in or that apply for you.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/index.php

Just click the NeuroTalk logo at the top of the page to find the main list page anytime.

Nice to meet you!!
 

Wow! sounds like you are having the roughest time of your life there.It's very sad about the surgeon,.maybe they could help you FIND someone that will work with you an get you better.I have a memory deficet because the surgery cut out part of my brain that stores memory.
For me it's one of lifes most hurtful things to miss your children and it makes me cry like now just thinking about that an the fact I have to accept they're living their own lives,.maybe I need to leave them alone? I don't know wt to do? They live so far and my driving is bad I'm just too nervous to go there..and I miss my wife so much it was so hard to accept she just don't wanna be with me anymore,..now that's a bad feeling for a man I think and it makes my hart hurt.Yes and "not knowing" what to expect and how things are gonna turn out has always been a bane in my life because I've never been a patient man.It's kind of ironic that I was a tile-setter all my life with me lacking patience like I do,..Maybe there really is a God!