Approaching the One Year Mark
 

Well, I'm very close to a year now...and unfortunately, I'm worse than what I started out to be. I've done everything from shutting myself off from the world, pushing through symptoms, slowly increasing stimulation little by little, strict vitamin regimen, anti-seizure medications, intensive therapy and much more. Nothing worked for me. Instead of finding a solution that helped me get better, I permanently declined every few months to the point it became unbearable.

I've gotten to the point now where I've accepted that I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life. I got tired of not being able to live my life, so now I'm just living it and putting up with the consequences. I have a son that needs me, so I can't live my life as a hermit.

Fortunately, I've had some improvements. Once I stopped obsessing over the way I feel all the time, I started to get better in some departments. For instance, I can handle being in a store without becoming disoriented. I can understand what people are saying to me, I still get confused sometimes but not as much as before, my anxiety is pretty much gone, my sex drive has gotten better than it was before the injury (not sure how that happened)...There is probably more I'm missing. If this was a perfect world, I wouldn't have any symptoms at all. But, I do...and they are quite annoying. I struggle all day everyday with putting my thoughts/feelings into words. My speech is slow, I have a lot of pauses, umms and uhhhs, and other stuff I can't think of right now. Its a constant thing that doesn't ever go away, however I can sometimes break through and be able to articulate myself properly, but its very short lived. It usually happens when I meet a new person (its like my brain forces itself to act right), important phone calls (disability, case worker, etc.). Still can't watch TV without severe fogginess, music is a big no no, and driving causes serious fogginess with my speech as well.

I've been feeling very depressed lately because I thought at a year I'd be at least better than I was 6 months ago...but I'm not. I'm going through a very dark time in my life. Its causing problems in my relationship because my speech is making me frustrated all the time. Its a battle everyday accepting what is...we just have to wake up and grab that sword and shield and keep on fighting.

God bless, everyone.

Nick

One Year Anniversary
 

I am sorry to hear about your struggles. It sounds like you do better when you are not stressed about your situation. Very difficult!

I am approaching my five month anniversary. I am better, but not well.

I get stressed and grouchy when I am tired and/or try to do more than one thing at a time. I have to remind myself daily that my brain is injured and the vertebrae in my neck got misaligned and had to be snapped back into place by a chiropractor. Some days I am thankful just being alive (my accident occurred when I was the passenger in a car that hit a tree going 35 mph).

I am on anti-depressants for depression (pre-PCS) so it takes a lot to get me stressed. The medication helps, but my depression is worse. Now that is depressing! I have decided that I need a nap every day to function and I just need to take it easy the rest of the time. It is hard not to push myself, but that is what I have to do.

I went to a fundraiser last night for cancer research/treatment. I tried to find the humor in the situation with my friend that has bone cancer. She is about 30 % recovered from her surgery, and I am about 70 % recovered. Together we make one person!

Don't know if this message helps. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone!

I hear you on many fronts. Especially when you talk about your son. I get so frustrated because prior to my injury my son was too young and didn't really want to play sports. But now it's summer and he's at the age where he wants to learn and do all kinds of stuff (biking, baseball, soccer etc) but here I am with a head injury and can't do much with him.

The only thing I do to console myself is think about it in years. I'm at 10 months with not much improvement on any symptoms, but even if this takes 2 or 3 years to heal, I'll still have many years to play with him. For the moment I have to settle for brief walks while he bikes ahead of me to the playground.

At one year, I had seen some major improvements and also some major steps backwards. I was actually medically terminated from my job on the day before the one-year anniversary of my injury.

I saw more MAJOR MAJOR improvements at 15-16 months. I'm now kind of in a holding pattern on those but can see how, when my family is able to get a few more underlying life situations resolved over which we don't have much control, I think I'll be able to make even more progress. Also still have a few more medical avenues to explore.

My life doesn't look at all like it did before my injury, and I'm not sure it ever will again. But it works, for now.

So, I think feeling locked in at wherever you are at one year is not necessary. It's good to have accommodations for where you are now, but do also have hope and plans for more future recovery.

Hi Nick,

I totally understand! And I'm so sorry!

At one year, I was not doing well at all compared to my functioning levels before the accident. Before the accident I was considered "higher functioning" and I wasn't even at an "average" level of functioning according to my neurologist's opinion a year after the accident I was in.

I'm doing better now. I'm not yet close to all better though. It's been almost two years since the accident I was in.

All I can say is try to hang in there. :hug:

Word from a former PCS sufferer.
 

Space Cadet i feel for you. Im here now because i have recovered from PCS having had symptoms (some similar, some different to you own).



I found that very controlled, gradual and measurable increases in activity got me better. Eveything else was either a temporary help or no help. I used walking as a measure of activity because i could limit it and measure it easily. (walking hurt my head and caused sympoms btw - if walking is not a problem for you then it wouldne be suitable to use for you).

I started small with say 20 metres. Eventually building up to kilometres. Then running.

You will get better.... you just need super human patience :-s