Rude to ask?
 

On my daily bike ride on the bike/walk path I encountered a woman that obviously has MS. Due to her swinging one leg up and outward I knew it was MS and could see a little bit of balance issues as I approached. With me My MS symptoms aren't really physical, just brain stuff so outward I appear to be in good shape and bike ride like a Mo-Fo lol. She had a hold of a baby stroller so I guess that keeps her from falling. Well this peaked my interest as I never met to many people with MS around here and really wanted to ask her about it and how she is doing.

Well I didn't, just said "on your left" and passed her by. I thought it would be really rude to stop and ask her about her MS so I wasn't really sur eof what to do. I was wondering if that is late stage MS, how long she had it and ect ect... Right now I don't walk like that I walk very normally.

Dam..is it rude to ask someone about it that has it if you are in a public situation? Even yourself is starting to deal with MS also?

She was very pretty and I dare say very young like late 20,s early 30,s I'd say.

Hope to see her out there again...I'd love to get other like friends around here.

One thing that jumps out at me is that you can't be absolutely positive that it is MS that's affecting her. In such a case, I personally might say something like, "Excuse me, I see you walking in a way that indicates multiple sclerosis. I was diagnosed (recently?) and am still trying to wrap my head around it. Do you, by any chance, have MS?"

Saying the words multiple sclerosis rather than the letters has more impact, IMO. Suppose she doesn't have MS. She might think you're saying "a mess".

That's pretty tricky territory, flat-out asking a stranger if he or she has a specific medical problem, especially if you appear to be in good shape yourself. Maybe you can strike up a conversation with her about something more general first, such as "Your baby seems to be enjoying the weather..." and let the conversation flow naturally.

She could have had a hip injury, or even a congenital problem. Of course, you could be right, she could have MS.

Be friendly, talk, tell her first about you having MS (Honest and matter of fact) and see what she says. I've had people tell m eand ask me (once, nobody was sure what my story was) and see what happens. Go slow.

I wish more people would ask me what my issues are. Whether they have MS or maybe something else. I wouldn't be offended. What offends me is folks assuming that I've had one drink too many......because I don't drink!! :mad:

unless she is wearing an MS tshirt I would not do it. It may be a stroke she had and she may be recovering and your innocent comment may make it clear that others really see her disability.

What you may do is slow down your bike to walk it as you get near her. As you are passing say something like "whooo I have MS and this heat is really pushing me. ...how are you doing today?" and let her figure out if she wishes to disclose what she has. This way the only person you are outting is YOU. If she wishes to remain hidden she can. She may turn out to be chatty and really need to share, or she may be embarrassed and just want to hide.

Im so glad you want to reach out to her. You are a love. :hug:

regardless of how you choose to handle this situation, I commend you for asking for guidance on how/if/when to approach someone with a disability!

IMO I would go with saying something akin to "Hi! I look forward to seeing you and the baby as we cross paths on the trail. My that is a cute little gir/boy - how old is he?" Then you could perhaps say somehting to ease into the conversation like "Gee, I need to sit down for a moment due to a disability - care to join me and get to know each other a bit better instead of just staying strangers who walk on the same trail each day?" blah blah blah.

You could ease into the convo via the kid (we all love to hear a compliment about our cute, well behaved children:winky:) and then ease into having a disability but "looking so good". She will either open up or not, and that will let you know how comfortable she may or may not be with "sharing" amongst people she meets.

Sure. That's what Kitty says.:rolleyes::D

I agree Kitty. I hate the stares and nasty looks folks give me, and under their breath I can hear them saying stuff like "she should get out of that cart and let someone who really cant walk use it!" One time a lady actually came out and asked what was wrong with me. I loved it because Im not embarrassed or ashamed to share my MS dx with them. Im seriously going to invest in a I have MS tshirt. As for approaching the lady, Id strike up some friendly chat first and like kicker said, go slow and maybe start out with your dx. Alot of times that can really relax a conversation.

I don't hav MS, but I had stroke and since I'm 23 I get funny looks now for the way I talk and walk and write. I would be happier if people asked me why I was doing it rather than just treating me like I was messed up. If I was her, I would take it as a good thing that someone actually KNEW and could share the experience. I think I look at things differenly than most now though.
Sorry if this comes out a bit wrong I know what I'm TRYING to say.