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-   -   Question for diagnosed MS'ers (https://www.neurotalk.org/multiple-sclerosis/176693-question-diagnosed-msers.html)

SDFencer 09-19-2012 01:45 AM

Question for diagnosed MS'ers
 
You've seen my self diagnosis threads, but this is a question.

Do you have good intentions of doing something (like me going to fence tonight, not) but you feel fatigued, sore, and going would just be too much so you don't?

Then you feel guilty about because you want to go but it's just too much trouble etc?

Of course the guilt trip laid on you by your SO doesn't help. I'm just going to run away as soon as I fgure where to go.

Erika 09-19-2012 08:42 AM

SD Fencer,

At times like that, I find it helpful to look upon my body as belonging to a good friend for bit. Then I ask myself, if my friend had the challenge of fatigue, symptoms etc, would I press them to participate in something that I knew would bring greater suffering to them either physically or emotionally? The answer is always no, I would not. Rather, I would extend to them compassion and understanding while trying to provide what ever support that I could.

All too often I think that we press ourselves beyond compassion and understanding for our own selves; and we seem to do this because we perceive others' opinions as being more valid than our own.
When we do that, who suffers?

Please be kind and compassionate to yourself and treat yourself as you would a good friend who is facing similar challenges.

Peace. :hug:

With love, Erika

Kitty 09-19-2012 08:52 AM

I think others (who don't have MS) sometimes think that by encouraging us to do things they're helping us. Misguided but sincere.....most of the time. :rolleyes:

My son will sometimes tell me that maybe if I just got out of the house and did something I'd feel better. Little does he know that just the thought of getting ready and going somewhere is sometimes just as bad as actually doing it! :eek:

Hope you feel better soon and can do some of the things you enjoy. :)

SDFencer 09-19-2012 10:02 AM

Thanks. As I have said, I have not been diagnosed with MS. But from every page I research I look like a textbook case. Geeze just tell me if I have it or not.

Kitty 09-19-2012 11:00 AM

Waiting for a diagnosis is difficult to say the least. Sometimes you wonder what on earth they're waiting for......or looking for. Some MSers have had to wait years for that diagnosis. It really doesn't change anything......just sort of gives us a strange comfort of knowing what we have actually has a name and exists for others as well as ourselves.

SallyC 09-19-2012 11:33 AM

Just keep being a squeaky door, JD and one day, hopefully soon, you will get oiled..:D See, I can be funny too..:rolleyes:

NurseNancy 09-19-2012 12:37 PM

i do that all the time.
but, i have understanding friends that don't make negative comments.
be gentle with yourself. listen to your body and do things you can.

KittyLady 09-19-2012 02:49 PM

I have learned the hard way that pushing thru the fatigue and pain only makes it worse. As others have said, listen to your body, I mean REALLY listen to it. Dont ignore it and think that if you just do this one thing you'll be alright. Chances are, you'll pay for that later. :hug:

Debbie D 09-19-2012 07:04 PM

Occasionally, when I'm at my own pity party, I wish to God I was alone on this journey. Then I wouldn't have to burden anyone who loved me or make them feel obligated to get on the bus with me.
I try to push myself as much as I can. Occasionally I pay the price later in the day. But at least I am living while I can...;)

Lynn 09-20-2012 06:51 AM

Hi SD Fencer

I did this the other way around. I got my MS dx in 2001, and then they found my aneurysm which I had clipped in 2004.

I was lucky, both my Dx's were textbook cases, so I didn't have the grief that you are having. Hold on, keep trying and I hope that this works out the best way it can for you.

Regards

Lyn


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