Dating and RSD
 

My psychologist says I should get out and date. I was shocked when she said this because she knows how tired I am all of the time. By 5PM, I am ready to fall asleep. I would not mind dating again, but how do you date with RSD? How do you explain RSD to someone?

Lexie....I certainly can relate to your question. And I'm sure others can as well.

I know for a fact that I have avoided dating because of CRPS. No question.

My symptoms become progressively worse through the day, so dates (which predominantly occur during the evening) are not a great option! I'm shot by 5:00 too!

How about morning dates!! Gotta keep some humor and perspective through all of the crap that this condition hands out.

Not to give up though; there are people out there that are understanding and compassionate and would be good partners. Just gotta find them.....;)

Good luck to you. Don't let CRPS define you.

It's hard to imagine a woman who'd be willing to see me only during the day on my good days. The effort of chasing a woman would wear me down to nothing even if she wanted me to catch her.

Mebbe what we need is a RSD dating service. If the hunter is slowed, well so is the prey. ;)

Getting out and being social is a good idea. It's so very very easy to become isolated. I hate driving or being driven. I recently adopted a bundle of love and have to walk her a handful of times a day. Not only is my relationship with her great, but I'm meeting lots of new people, all without the pain of vibrations from a car, and exercising gently throughout the day. I wasn't sure I could manage with her, but she's very attuned to my pain, and we're doing great.

I have found that I can cope with some people touching me better than others. They say when you love someone it's easier to tolerate as well, but it would probably be best to let your date hug you, hold hands, etc. early on, so that if you can't cope with his touch, you don't become to attached, and can move on.

I do believe there is someone for everyone, IF you really are interested. I would think you'd want Your health to be as stable as possible before starting. The few times I've tried I was in a good place physically and mentally.

Don't put it off, if it's important to you, because it's very easy to let time slip away while you're dealing with RSD.

Much of what you can do at night, you can do during the day. And many men prefer things like barbecues and going to sports, etc. If you still work, then plan to go out on your day off. If you want to go out at night, then take a nap!

I don't think you need to give much info about your health, until it feels right. Brief is probably fine for the first several dates.

She might suspect your exhaustion is due to depression. (That is entirely possible as a component of RSD and as a side effect of how it impacts your life.) Dating might make you feel more energized, especially in the honeymoon phase.

Good luck!

Thank you for your response. I am glad that I am not alone in this. Morning dates sound fun and I am sure that there are understanding and compassionate men out there. But yes, they will be very hard to find. Dating where I live is already so hard.

I like the idea of an RSD dating service. Morning dates only on good days :)

Thanks for your response. Can I ask what breed of dog did you get? You said the dog is attuned to your pain. I have been thinking of getting a dog so I can get out a little more.

She's a French bulldog. If you use a reputable rescue they will tell you all the about the dogs personality and habits, and offer a trial period. In So Cal there is a boarding company that offers trained dogs for the disabled and they cover food and vet bills for life. There is also a place that offers small service dogs for no charge. Even your local pound should offer a 30 day trial, though they often will offer a pet exchange, not a refund.

My mom adopted my dog from the local pound, and then allowed me to have her since we bonded so well. She even licks the exact area where my pain is worst when I'm flared--very odd! The good news is it doesn't cause me pain, and I'm very hypersensitive.

Amusingly enough my mom is convinced I'll meet a guy when I'm walking her...

I'm still voting for an RSD cruise or vacation to somewhere warm where we can all swim. If we want to prohibit the married folks, that's fine by me! ;)

I'm IN! Swimming in warm water is absolutely hands down the best therapy for me. No weight bearing and it just feels like a massage for my entire body.

A vacation exclusively for us with CRPS; what a novel idea!! Will there be a swim up meds bar? :) (tongue firmly planted in cheek....)

A warm pool is great. Warm ocean--heavenly. I figure it's the extra pressure.