19 months and still progressing in the wrong direction.
 

19 months post-injury with no lasting improvements.

This is sooooo confusing....I really dont know what to do anymore. I cant seem to put together more than one or two "good days". Ive gotten to the point where I cant even schedule doctor's appointments because Im struggling so much with my communication. I feel like I dont know what to say and I talk over the person on the phone. Every once in awhile I will be able to hold a conversation but then I will feel like I dont know to end ot properly. My memory is destroyed....UGH...Absolutely destroyed. Word finding has gone from simple word finding difficulties to hardly being able to put a proper sentence together. My social life is diminished....I noticed my FB friends dropped from 200+ to 180 or so. People are deleting me because I dont even talk to them. Its not that I dont want to talk to them, I just dont want to embarrass myself or I dont know how to hold a conversation anymore.

I wake up disoriented everyday. You could ask me who the president is or what year it is and I literally will not be able to answer you. It takes about 10-20 min to gain my bearings.

Every time I find something that helps, such as playing a game or having a new attitude about my condition, it only works for a very short time before it starts making me worse.

I used to be able to relate to anyone. I could always hold a conversation about anything and make people laugh. Even after the injury. This started to fade away as the months went by and now it's gotten really "effing" bad.

I now have physical symptoms that werent there before. It feels weird to walk...its like my brain is sending the wrong signals to my body parts. I had trouble filling out a simple form yesterday. My writing is jacked up....I was mispelling words, screwing up punctuation, the pen felt weird in my hand and my writing was hardly legible. This is not me and wasnt me even immediately after the injury. This is new stuff that wasnt there before.

I sound like an effing cry baby....I know...but this is the only place I could vent and cry out for help and people will actually listen or relate.

My recovery has been so much different than everyone else. Im happy for everyone making progress and feeling a little better as the months go by...but its depressing to know there isnt very many people out there who is experiencing what Im going through now. I just want to get better....My son needs me at 1000 percent.

Ive tried just about everything. What now?

im sorry to hear all that dude, I can relate to the socializing problems, I used to be able to crack everyone up and hold good conversations, now I seem to only have a couple word replies and don't really know how to end conversations as well as having trouble expressing myself besides saying I feel like shizz

sorry I don't have any advice but I understand what your going through man

Cognitive Behavior Therapy?
 

Dude~

Most medicaid will pay for cognitive behavior therapy....I am waiting to start in March.From my understanding it will help with a lot of different things....that's what my neurologist told me. Maybe try that route if you have not.

Hope you find this helpful:)

Nick,

I still go through these up and down. Tonight is a bad time for me. I had to meet with an attorney to discuss some serious issues this afternoon. I am a mess. I even prepared all day for the 4:00 pm meeting by resting. I am nauseous and jittery. It has been a job to keep my fingers on the right keys. I expect that tomorrow will be a slow day.

So, I will just take it slow and patient.

I agree. See if you can find a cognitive behavior therapist that deals with concussion/TBI patients. It has really helped me a lot.

You can always come here to vent. Even those who make bit by bit progress, still have days were we are blindsided by feeling off.

Sorry you are struggling so much. This condition is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...

Thank you everyone.

I've been referred to a neuroscience institute (Nevada Neuroscience Institute). My appointment is on the 8th. Hopefully they will have some answers for me? I was told they give you cognitive testing, try different things to fix you and then repeat the same tests again to see if you improved, declined or stay the same.

I'll let you guys know how it goes.

BTW, I tried CBT awhile back. I have so much trouble with cognition, communication and overstimulation that I froze up and couldnt speak. I never went back :(...Maybe i will try again. Problem is, there isnt any psychologists out here thay specialize in brain injury. Just the ones that work at the TBI rehab but you have to be admitted to the program to see them. Ive already graduated from there....:/

Prayer. Exercise. Sunshine. Anything that will break isolation. I am trying to warm up to meditation. Listening to When Things Fall Apart — wonderful feedback from a Buddhist nun. You're not alone in the confusion.