Melt Down
 

I had been strong and had the best 4 days in the last year and half....and today I am faced head on with a melt down out of my control!!!WHY???I would take anger over depression ANYDAY!Now I need to reground myself:thud:

Mia, I am so sorry. I feel like just how you feel right now. The "how I can go from feeling so good to just...i don't know...feeling..just so bad?" feeling. I went from a week of feeling good even with television on, to just feeling bad and releasing a huge panic attack out of nowhere. I actually got angry with my mother yesterday about my life. I exploded! And somehow, it felt nice to explode, in the end. It is hard being this way, but find comfort in the fact that we will all be better not soon, but eventually. For now, Mia, take the advice that you told me to take, never look back, keep pushing forward. Relax, you will get there and you will be happy (probably excited!) that you did. :hug:

Thanks Consider...I greatly appreciate it...I will start from the beginning therapy...music My favorite since this ordeal Lana Del Ray....:hug:

Long story short - you are human and this is HARD work we are doing managing PCS. Be kind and gentle to yourself!! :hug:

A better day is just around the corner! Yesterday I felt ok and today I feel awful...but I have learned that those awful days will pass and a better day will come!
An hour at a time on those days.
Hang in there!!!!

Mo~Thank you for the great advice....It seems like as the hours go by I am crumbling more...I went walking,colored,and now I just want this depression to go AWAY!My Pristiq was working soooo good and I am on day 6 and it only takes 5-7days to kick in....It seems like the one day out of the past 4 that I get more stress...now my family is stressing me about going to an Cartoon convention all next weekend that my little one wants to go to...so it is a 6hr car ride,the schedule looks like from 10am to 11pm activities of all OVER STIMULATING STUFF FOR ME!!!!I SWEAR I AM DAMNED IF I DO AND "" IF I DON'T!!!I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T WIN......:( ME sitting in this house by myself feels like the walls are caving in and does not help that none of my "friends"even call to check on me....very sad day for me

I think I would avoid the convention! It won't be good for you at all. When I have been travelling with my kids and spouse, I often accompanied them places and waited for them in the car. They would go to a restaurant, and bring something out to the car for me. believe it or not, I was very happy (as happy as one can be with a brain injury!!!) in the car. If it is parked not pointing at bright streetlights, and it away from a lot of motion and traffic (a quiet part of a parking lot, for example), it can actually be a quiet place!
Maybe a strategy like that could help to do Some part of an outing.

You need to find things that work for you. Noise, lights, movement, multiple things happening...no good!

Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

Mo~Thank you so much for your kind words.I greatly appreciate them. I'm not looking back and today is already a better day:D It just sucks that when I get stuck in that hole I cannot get out....until after sleep.I don't know it is a maze and we(survivors)will all eventually figure this complex maze out in future.

About convention~I will just have to stay home or go with them and sit in hotel(so happens the city that traveling to is where my ex is)Kind of scared to have temptation to go backwards. Long story short he was the ONLY one with me threw the crazy mania of trying to get diagnosis,but when I got diagnosis he left me!So there is some bitterness....Ok I got to continue on with happy thoughts...this morning is my apt to ophthalmologist:hug:

Hope today is good to you:grouphug:

Is there something quiet in the city you are going to that you could, just you? Maybe a quiet museum? Or is there a good book you can take and read in the hotel room? A spa near by?

My doctor has frequently recommended that when I can, to get a way for a while. Even at my worst, she suggested "vacationing" at a quiet friend's home for a few days. Its easy to get sucked into the black hole of PCS, when you are stuck alone, in your house, staring at the wall and overwhelmed with stress and symptoms. However, a trip "away" gives you a new environment, (which you still need to have some control over, such as quiet room to retreat to if needed), but also gives you the opportunity to do something different for a few days, that can take some focus off of the everyday symptoms and stress.

As for the ex, STAY AWAY! You need someone who understands you and your symptoms and doesn't run away when the going gets rough! You have worked really hard in you recovery and you deserve someone who can appreciate that, rather than walk out. ((hugs))

I love the spa! That's where I spend one day a week, getting a pedicure, massage and waxing. (Got to still be good looking for the men despite all this!) I am relaxed there usually and the best part is they understand my condition, so they turn off the music while I am there! The trip thing, in another forum I posted, was about going to a zen meditation retreat, its like rehab for your soul and your PCS.