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-   -   12 year old son with bipolar, ADHD, odd, and a learning disability (https://www.neurotalk.org/parents-with-bipolar-children/186842-12-son-bipolar-adhd-odd-learning-disability.html)

Daniell 04-12-2013 12:29 PM

12 year old son with bipolar, ADHD, odd, and a learning disability
 
I'm pulling my hai out trying to get help. We've been to therapy for 4 years, under a physiologist care with meds. Getting special Ed help from the school, and still nothing seems to be getting any better, we just keep going to doing and doing with no results. We have done one session with tapping and will be going in the summer for a few weeks so we can do 3 to 4 sessions per week. Honestly I feel I have done so much with little change, I'm frustrated, confused and just looking for others in the same boat. I'm looking to talk about discipline, how to make it fair. I feel I have to pick my battles but am struggling on all the small stuff that is getting more and more. Like swearing for example, I would rather he use his words then go break something, yes I would prefer if those words weren't swear words but seems sometimes its the lesser of two evils. So usually his swearing goes un punished. Then I have a 14 year old who thinks this is unfair because if my brother can swear why can't I get away with it sometimes. I try to pick my battles or he would be grounded from everything which has happened before then gets the attitude what else do I have to lose and then all hell breaks loose.

Mari 04-13-2013 12:40 AM

Hi, Daniell,
I am an adult who has was diagnosed 25 years ago. I do not have children so I do not have the same kind of insight that parents would have for you. Google The Balanced Mind Foundation to find a place for parents of children with bipolar.

If you can get him to a psychiatrist at a major medical research hospital or medical school you have a good chance of getting an appropriate diagnosis and med regime.

If you are not doing so find a system to keep track of daily:
Moods
Medications
Symptoms
Sleep
Side effects
And whatever the doctors have requested or that seems relevant to you


Track the above on-line, in a spread sheet, or a huge wall calendar. It does not matter as long as you have records for you and his health care team. If you like doing things online try moodtracker.com

The tapping might work for him. That would be good. I did not find that it worked for me. I did find that acupuncture was very good.

You are right to let go of the swearing issue. Try to counsel him to save the swearing for home. He can think of home as a safe place.

He has a major medical disorder. Please do not punish him or ground him for being sick. He might not need the talk therapy as much after he finds the right medicine. Talk therapy would probably help the 14 year old who is living with the chaos.

Things are going to get better. Trust his psychiatrist. Ask the psychiatrist for suggestions to help you deal with the school.

Mari

Dmom3005 04-15-2013 08:11 PM

Daniel

Hi, Mari has some good thoughts.

I am a parent and grandparent of children with bipolar, ADHD and learning disabilities, and mood disorders. More than one child.

And my oldest son had intermittent explosive disorder, and before it was diagnosed, I like you had to pick my battles. And I believe one of the battles I didn't touch, but he knew I hated swearing. But I let it go.
He has a younger brother 3 years younger, that thought he got away with everything, at the time. Or I thought he did.

And a even younger brother, that I had to protect both of them.

In the end, I learned many years later they both knew what was going
on.

I wish I had known then what I do now. That my middle son really needed
the talk thereapy. He needed to talk to someone about what was going
on at home. He was the one that my oldest took a lot of the problems
out on. And in the end, he was the reason in a lot of peoples' minds
that he got sent away.

Luckily not in my oldest head when he came home.

Donna:hug::grouphug:


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