New INSURANCE, 30 DAYS AFTER MARRIAGE
 

So here is the latest, we found out that if we get married we can put me on his insurance and i will be enrolled 30 days later. Thats great, i dont see how else im going to get some decent health care. But this is not how i wanted to do this. We were suppose to get married next fall and have a small celebration. Im 43 and this is not my first marriage. I cant help but feel like a burden to him. He is so good and compassionate to my pain. But there are days i feel so bad that he even has to deal with me and my health problems. Do any other women feel like this? Or maybe even men?

I relate to the guilt, but--
 

--that's part of what couples are supposed to do for each other, so don't feel too guilty.

My wife and I were living together, pre-marriage, for a couple of years when she changed jobs and got a much better health insurance plan (this was almost 28 years ago--a lot of insurance plans were better, and cheaper, then). While we had always assumed we would get married down the road, the ability she then had to put me on her plan was a major factor in speeding up the process. We had a very simple public ceremony and then a party afterwards at a restaurant where my father knew the ownership--no big crazy nuptials. And we're still together all these years later, and do tease each other about "getting married for the insurance".

There are a few states states now in which for certain public jobs one does not even have to get married for this--one can designate a "significant other" or "domestic partner", with sufficient proof/documentation, primarily for the purposes of establishing them as a benefits partner, and this is done primarily for health insurance eligibility and for survivorship if the job has pension or 401K benefits. Given how expensive and difficult health insurance has become this may be something more and more progressive companies may offer and more people will clamor for.

Of course, I'm very much an advocate for a single-payer or similar system of automatic government regulated health insurance that would make all this moot, but that's another discussion.