How to Deal with Unavoidable Stress
 

My husband and I are going through a lot right now. I would go into details, but it's too much. Writing about it would just make it so much worse!


Good news is that my antidepressant is working and I feel like myself again. Bad news is that we are in such a stressful predicament that I had to force feed myself dinner tonight and feel like my heart is going to spasm right out of my chest. I feel like there is nothing to help me. My husband is probably worse off than I am in this situation, so I'm just doing everything I can to support him, but it's really all out of my hands. I have control over so little in my life right now!


A week ago I would have spent the evening in hysterical tears, so this is progress, but I just don't know how to deal with all of this. My husband and I really need to talk through our situation, but I am so avoiding it! So is he. It's not good, but I guess it's temporary self preservation. But it can only be temporary. I feel like I'm just waiting for the situation to resolve itself, hoping I won't have to make a decision!


I don't know exactly what I'm asking but any advice would be welcome. Thanks.

I'm also going through a lot right now at home and in my life. I think stress is this vicious cycle coupled with the injury. I am also thinking of going on an anti depressant or anti anxiety med. But I dont know what to do really. Would also like to hear from others. Do you also mean that the antidepressants have helped wiht your physical concussion symptoms? Thank you. Take Care.

DFayesMom,
I'm sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. :hug:

I wish I had some advice for you, but I really don't. I went through some unavoidable stress in January when my mother passed away unexpectedly. I had to drive 6 hours to be with my Dad and family, plus attend the visitations and funeral, never mind grieve.

There was no magic answer to how I survived it. It wasn't pretty. It was brutal and in some ways, I'm still trying to recover from that set back.

I did my best to "steal moments" for myself whenever I could. Just a moment to close my eyes, plus my ears and just be, even for a second or two.

Without knowing details and I don't need details... all I can suggest is just breathe and know whatever it is you are dealing with won't always be like it is right now in this moment. Something will change, even if only a slight bit. Sometimes that's all we need, is just a tiny shift to make it bearable.

Take care and know you're not alone. :hug:
Starr

Antidepressants
 

Hey there blue,

I strongly recommend antidepressants to those that need them, as I believe they can correct a chemical imbalance in the brain. That's what happened to me. I was suffering from a low-level depression for much of the time after my second concussion, but I was so out of sorts, I didn't really recognize what was going on.

Before my PCS diagnosis, I went on a low dose of Wellbutrin to see if it would help me feel less lethargic (as I couldn't figure out what was possibly wrong with me), but I went off the Wellbutrin after my diagnosis because I told my doctor I wasn't depressed anymore, now that I knew what was wrong with me and that I wasn't just losing my mind! Well, as soon as stress entered my life, I completely broke down. I think the concussions have made my brain less resilient to stress. I'm normally my husband's rock, and so this was unusual for me. I felt so lethargic, I could barely do anything! I was just miserable and very unstable. I was constantly in tears. I knew I needed meds. I started the lower dose of Wellbutrin, and when I was still struggling after two weeks, I had the doctor up my dosage. Two weeks after that, I felt like my normal self again.

Did it help with my physical PCS symptoms? Um, that's complicated. I no longer have my cognitive symptoms or headaches to deal with, and when I did, I think the dose was too low to help, if it even would have. BUT some of the symptoms I did have--lethargy and lack of stamina--were 100 times worse when I was feeling depressed. I even think I felt foggier than I do now (and I thought I'd largely gotten over that!) So yes, it does help with some symptoms if you are depressed because the depression is probably contributing to your symptoms and you don't even realize it! I think it's worth trying something to see if it helps.

Finding the right medication can be trial and error, so don't give up if the first one doesn't work out! Also make sure not to abruptly stop taking an antidepressant. Some of them you need to be weaned off of to avoid withdrawal symptoms.

I'm not on anything for anxiety. I feel like most of those drugs make me feel tired, and I can't afford to have that, because I am low-energy as it is. Maybe there's something that wouldn't increase my lethargy, but I'm not sure.

Good luck to you!

That is rough!
 

I'm so sorry about your mom. I can't imagine dealing with that! I can see why you feel like it set you back.

I keep trying to remember that we are going to get through this, that it could be so much worse! I've gotten over feeling sorry for myself and hopeless, but now I just feel anxious about the unknowns and afraid of making bad decisions.

3rd party to help you?
 

Hi DFMom,

So sorry to hear of your stress. And, I know there is unavoidable stress in life too.

Any 3rd party to help? Counselor or clergy -- if you have a church or faith family you belong to.

These are just some thoughts.

Wishing you well.

Sincerley,

pm

Sorry to hear of your struggles. Some things I find useful include:

It actually may help to write about the stressors. Many are unavoidable but this may help identify resolution for some of them.

I practice gentle yoga. I'd recommend a good studio that incorporates the mindfulness meditation component. Most fitness centers that offer yoga classes just try to see how many poses they can get through in an hour, and ignore the restorative experience part of the practice.

Mindfulness meditation; this can allow your mind to reflect on the source of the discomfort. It won't make the stressor factors go away but can make it easier to deal with them.

Massage therapy. I find this reduces the physical reaction to stress (tense muscles) as well as the "brain chatter".

I concur with Poetrymom if you have clergy or some sort of spiritual advisor to consult with, that may be helpful.

Wishing you peace.

:hug:

Start small and give yourself a chance for success. For the more overwhelming issues a impartial third party is a good idea. Try to be patient a kind to yourself you are injured and there is nothing you can do about that.

There is help out there
 

I live in Wisconsin. I am 49 yrs old. Stress has always been a part of my life. I can't tell you the last day I didn't have some sort of stresser. Hy husband is losing his eyesight, he is down to less than 1%. To makes things worse, he has diabetes, and all the complications, like diabetic neuropathy, facial twitching, irritabilty, and being very short tempered. Then you throw my issues into the ring. I had a concussion three years ago and I am still dealing with the after effects. Memory issues, cognitive problems, the inability to speak at times, and then there is the stuttering. Last but not least, a hysterectomy last year. Menapause has bee rearing its ugly head. But is getting betterwith the help of a non hormonal treatment.

Counseling actually did help me a lot.

My wife was nearly killed and still suffers from a whole host of problems from a head-on crash she barely survived over 3 years ago. She suffered Diffuse Axon injury, and her injuries were deemed catastrophic.

It has been extremely stressful and anxious for the longest time.

Playing music has helped me too. Not just any musical instrument, I chose something that has a more ancient, meditative and quieting quality.

I share this with you. You may be inspired to seek some kind of personal, meditative quieting activity which suits your circumstances and personality.