stay at home mom who needs rest?
 

Hello everyone, I am a 34 year old mom who suffered a concussion one week ago. I've had a week of partial rest (2 days in the hospital followed by my husband helping out at home) but next week he has to go back to his 12 hour days.
I feel better but still a bit woozy.
I have a 5 yr old I have to drop off and pick up from kindergarten (half a mile walk) and a 2 year old who stays at home, no day care.

When am I ready to start managing daily tasks again? Can I get enough rest while looking after my kids or do I need to find child care for the 2 year old? And am I ready to get dinner, baths, etc for 2 small kids in the evenings, alone?
Basically, how much rest do I need in order to heal? Is extra night time rest enough or do I need to cancel everything stressful in my life?
Maybe a little stress will help my brain heal?
Thank you for your help.

Hi Heather and welcome to NT.

Unfortunately there is no clear cut answer to "when?". All brain injuries are different and they heal on their own schedule. The fact that they kept you in hospital 2 days suggests the concussion was fairly serious. Was there a loss of consciousness, and did they indicate what your GCS score was? Did they give any guidelines upon discharge?

With two small ones it will be a challenge. Quiet rest is important. Cancel what you can. If you get someone to assist with the child care that would probably be helpful. Your injury is very recent. Recovery can be measured in weeks, months (or years) more often than days. Get good nutrition (see the vitamin sticky thread above) and rest as much as you can.

Best to you.

I'm so sorry for your concussion.

I have 3 boys, and I am now in my 11th month of pcs.

This is the time to put pride or embarrassment aside and to ask for help. The first month of absolute rest will frame the rest of your recovery.

Ask for help with pick up/drop off for your 5 year old from other parents or even your husband. Maybe there are teachers who would help out after hours?

If you have neighbors, friends or family, please do ask for 1 - 2 hours of help here and there. Ask for meals. Ask for the rest you will require.

It is so hard, because so many of us live far away from family and our work is not so flexible.

Building a community means being able to ask for help when you need it, and when you are better, to give help when you can.

I have found it so amazing how many want to help when asked. If people can't, it usually is because they have their own issues.

The hard thing is that you will have to get your husband involved in planning, as I found it so hard to structure the schedule of help let alone do shopping or cooking.

I did not realize what was happening in my first month, and I continued life as usual. I recognize now I should have had rested more!

[QUOTE]Unfortunately there is no clear cut answer to "when?". All brain injuries are different and they heal on their own schedule. The fact that they kept you in hospital 2 days suggests the concussion was fairly serious. Was there a loss of consciousness, and did they indicate what your GCS score was? Did they give any guidelines upon discharge?[/QUOTE

There was no GCS score, CT scan normal, and guidelines were to rest till Monday with hubby taking over the chores and children. I did not lose consciousness or have amnesia from the accident. It hurt a lot and I felt momentarily nauseous then went on with my life till nearly collapsing from exhaustion and going into light shock 2 days later. At that point I was brought to hospital and kept in for observation.

Thank you for your input. Today I walked to the kindergarten to pick up my daughter, even though my husband could also make the trip. I just felt like it. My legs were moving very slowly though, and I needed to rest after I got home. Just wondered is this kind of activity stimulating and good for recovery or does it slow down the recovery? My dr who I saw today was not very helpful on this regard.

Monitor your activites
 

The best advice I can give you is to be careful how you expend your energy. If walking you daughter to kindergarden is important, than do it, but recognize you have to cut back somewhere else.

You only have so much energy, and you need a lot of energy for your recovery. You may also find that if you overdo it, it will take a lot longer to recover than pre-accident.

I will sometimes suffer for days for one day of doing something difficult ie. son's prom or daughters dance competiton.

Symptoms can sometimes be prolonged if you do not do the required rest and no activity.

Good Luck I know it is really hard to deal with children and being not well.

Thank you for your answer. I have one more question. Is it normal to keep bumping my head on things? Today for ex I bumped my head on the table while sweeping under it. My husbandsays I am spatially challenged.

Could be, problems with spatial orientation are not uncommon. Ask yourself if you experience other difficulties with spatial orientation (momentarily losing track if where you are in the house, that sort of thing). If you have issues with vertigo (also not uncommon) this could also cause the bumping.

It's easier to say than do, but do what you can to be aware of your orientation. It probably goes without saying but bumping your head is not going to be a good idea at this point ;)

Keep your head up
 

I would try as much as possible not to put your head down, sending blood to the head is not good. It is easy to disorientated. Also if you have balance issues it is really easy to bump into things and if you vision is off it can feel like you are drunk when you walk.

I also have issues with depth perception and I have mid line shift syndrome which moves my vision to the left. I am extremely careful about knowing where things are and I don't drive.

In any case you have to be extremely careful of you movements as banging your head again won't be fun and can set you back.

You really should try and limit you physical and mental activities as much as possible until things get better.

Cheers

heather,

First, you should not be sweeping under the table. You should let go of some of the things you would normally consider mandatory standards for your household. No trying to be super mom.

Regarding rest.

Rest is not a thing you schedule to do. It is an all day event. You need to avoid peaks in activity. Thinking you can take on a busy task with plans to rest good after is no going to help you heal. No such thing as quality rest if you don't get quantity of moderated effort.

You can make dinner if you can do it without the kids causing commotion or distraction. A well planned meal preparation can be fine. Don't try to rely on memory. Write down your plan for dinner and the things you need to have. Trying to depend on memory, especially as you are in the middle of the process, will put too much stress on you.

Whether you are spatially challenged or not, for the time being, you husband needs to hold his comments and be a helper.

He would benefit from watching the You Look Great YouTube series. The link is at the bottom of the Vitamins sticky at the top. The Lost and Found for TBI link is also worth you both reading. You both need to become informed so you can work together. It is not a take over tasks protocol. He needs to understand why you need his help.

My best to you.