Anyone else dependent on others? (Driving)
 

Life is quite different giving up that freedom. I don't care to go out because of my hypercusis and over-stimulation issues. Late at night a trip to the gas station or Walgreens all by myself would feel like a tiny piece of freedom though.

Anyone else in this position?

Peace, Jace

From my bitter irony files...I must often accept rides from the person who drove me into a tree 37 years ago. He emerged from the steaming wreck with nary a scratch, while my skull punched out one of Detroit's finest windshields.

Driving
 

Hi Jace,

I could not drive earlier on in my recovery. My hubby drove everywhere and got me to all my appts.

When I was ready, I did really short trips (3 miles in and out of town) and took back roads to avoid the highway. It worked and it made me so tired too. Sometimes I'd take a 2 hour nap after a short drive.

Could you try a super short trip and have someone with you to just test how it goes?? If you got overwhelmed and needed to pull over then your driving buddy could take over.

It's just a thought.

Take care

pm

It is hard to depend on others
 

I have not been able to drive for 18 months now and have to depend on my teenage sons to drive me everywhere.

At the beginning I spent 3 months in bed and my son had to feed me, take care of the bills house etc. After that he had to take me to all of my appoints (sometimes 4 or 5 a week).

He has his own life and has to make a lot of accommodations to do everything. I feel guilty that it is too much for him, he also does errands for my elderly mother and drive my youngest around.

In the last few months I have been allowed to take a bus and I have really enjoyed the independence and just getting out of the house. Sometimes I will just go down to MacDonald's for a drink and sit there.

The other night my son let me drive just down a quiet road, I could not believe how much I enjoyed and missed just getting in the car and going somewhere. You really miss your independence and going somewhere when you want to and not when it fits in with others.

Due to my vision issues my reaction in a car slower than desired and I still believe that streets with a lot of cars is too much distraction for me.

My OT is hoping to get me driving lessons and you can get tested to see how you drive with a disability.

It is certainly a hugh adjustment to your life style, but hopefully in time we will both be driving.

Ken, PoetryMom, & Norma,

That's a tough one to hear Ken. It's hard to get my mind around that.

I don't know when I will drive. I have a lot of vestibular issues and anxiety n PTSD while riding in a car. It's still very difficult. My body reacts without my consent.

Some days I want to escape alone somewhere quiet but I'm easily overstimulated and then the brain goes into shutdown mode. People would think I'm a drug user.

I miss independence but I'm afraid of it too. Does that make sense?

We are fortunate to have family. Someday I will ... (So many things could go here).

Thanks for sharing your stories. It's comforting to be understood.

Peace, Jace

I've driven less than 6,000 miles since the summer of 2001. It is a tough way to live in our mobile society but it can be done. I only drive in low traffic areas during my good days / time. As we say in my house, Is this a driving day ? This relates to how good my focus on my environment and tasks at hand are. Some days are much better than others.

My best to you.

Yes, I feel the same. Life takes on a whole new perspective huh? Many days I feel like a teenager and my 25 year old son is now the parent determining when I'm allowed to use my OWN car, how much money I can spend (can spend too much sadly). I can't live alone since I forget to do things like pay the bills so it feels like I've gone backwards. lol

Feeling a loss of independence has been the most difficult thing throughout this whole life change. The irony for me is before my accident as a single mom I thought it would be great to have someone take care of things for me, even as a self-reliant personality type it seemed like a dream come true to be lifted of some burdens. Now that it isn't a choice, or a dream, I'm not so wild about truly needing others to thrive. Hindsight makes me more careful of the things I wish for since I might get them in ways I never imagined. ;-) I also fear I'll turn into a recluse never leaving the house again because the world is too loud - or else turn to being a superhero using my new heightened abilities of hearing and light detection to thwart bad guys. lol

Kristy

Kristy,

Wow, I needed that laugh I got by the end of your post. I'll join your superhero crew but with my mental fatigue I'm better for the morning shift around 10.

My sense of humor just started coming back this month and I'm enjoying it.

I hate people deciding when I can go out somewhere (not that I want to go out into the always too loud world) and what I spend also. I don't make the best decisions yet. I was also very independent and it stinks.

I hope I can eventually drive. My eyes and brain aren't friends and my body reacts intensely in the car to sounds and perception, and that's just sitting in the back seat!

Day by day!

Peace, Jace

Kris,

There are many ways you can reclaim parts of your life. Studies show that electronic systems like smart-phones, iPads, and such can be a big help. You can set up alarms and prompts to take care of tasks, especially those tasks that repeat each month. I use the timer on the stove anytime I turn the stove on. I set it for 5 minutes or less so that if I walk away, the timer will go off and call me back to the stove. You can do the same thing with a smart phone.

I know a tbi victim who uses an iPad to say sentences and phrases when he is stressed and struggling to find words, etc.

Don't be afraid to use cheat systems like these. I have many tricks for getting things done.

My best to you.

Mark,

Great idea on the stove. That's one of my major problems with my memory. I forget I'm cooking if I leave the kitchen or get distracted. Burnt food is not good.

Will use this. Thanks!

Peace, Jace