Searchin for a life......
 

Well, thread pretty much says it. I've been down for awhile now, with no end in sight.. I'm not in control of me anymore. I just don't care.. Life, why carry on? They can't fix the BP. They can't fix the chronic pain, they can't fix me...
Marriage is slipping away, I wish she would go on and get a life.. I have not gave her one, it's a friendship now. Just wish everyone would go away....



Sorry,

Dear Mark,
You are sounding so depressed...
Have you spoken to your wife about how you are feeling?
Wonder if the two of you could go in for couples counseling...have you done this before?
I am sorry that you are hurting...
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Dear Mark,
Your wife loves you. Keep the faith. You wouldn't want to give up on her.

It's ok to be depressed. It happens to good people.
Be patient. Work with your pdoc and other docs.

I am sending good thoughts and good vibes so that you will feel better soon.
M.

{{{Mark}}}

befuddled2:hug:

((((((Mark)))))),

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

Don't know if this is helpful at all, but, you left a word off -->> "yet".

They can't fix BP *YET*. They can't fix chronic pain *YET*.

"Fixing you" -- I doubt very much that you need 'fixing'. You probably just need a break from all the other stuff.

Mark, try to have some patience with yourself. And allow your wife to help you now. When you get your balance back, you can give back to her. That's a "good marriage" -- giving help when needed, but, also receiving help when offered.

I hope 'things' get easier for you. Hugs.

Barb :hug:

hang in there, i know it looks bad now but it's not always so bad. try and remember the good times. call your dr tell him/her you are not doing well. change meds add vitamins. do whatever you can hang in for the fight. don't give in. miss you shelly

Trying
 

To all the Mothers, have a great day:grouphug:




Take Care,,,,,,,,,,,,

Shelly
 

OK, I'm trying to grab those boot straps Shelly, it's goin ah be a long pull this time. You nailed it, I got a good taste of reality from you, which I NEEDED badly. Fell in the self pity worm hole again. The whole nothing is goin right stuff..

So you wanted family ties, here they are. I'm 51yrs old, my wife "Dink" her nick name; have been married 29yrs. Why she is still here I don't know.. I have ask her many times to go on with her life; she's still here. I do love her..

Has far has children, I've a step-daughter, she's a teacher of Autistic Children, she has two children 13 & 10. Happily married to a builder here in the city. Next is my son, he's in the USAF station in Europe. He's been in and out of this war, doing his tours. He's married three children, 8,3, and 6 months. J and his family will be coming back to the states this winter. He'll be an instructor on what he flies. "Security" I can say what he does..

Last but not least, my daughter is 24 she is a ER trauma nurse, she has a little boy 2yrs. Her husband is a BUTTHEAD that won't work an lives off her..

So there they are, very proud of all of them. At one point in my life I must have done something right.

Shelly can't thank you enough for your pm.. You know what was about to happen and you caught me in total free fall.... To close!!

Sincerely,,

Thank you for sharig with us.
You have and are a great Dad to your children.
They have done well and you have every right to be proud of them.
They need you.
They would be devistated if they lost you. and so would your wife.
Please try to talk more openly about your feelings if you can.
There are other forums here to if you would be open to posting on other forums.
Just scroll down the general list.
You will find alot of other categories of forums for additional support....there is a forum for people who are feeling suicidal as well.
I wish you some peace today.
bizi
(((HUGS))):grouphug:
I am so glad that shelly helped you.
thank you shelly for this.

Mark, while I don't have the background like you do, its just my husband and myself. I do understand how you feel. You sit there and try to figure yourself out in to a downward spiral, that you can't you find your way out of. Especially when you have "done something wrong". You can't figure out why everyone stays around you after all you are this lowly worm not worthy of them. I feel this quite a bit since I am home alone while my husband works. I feel totally useless.
Now I just got my dx in October and surprisingly my husband totally understands and doesn't push. He knows that he can't help but makes sure I don't sink too low. Meds here, meds there......none can help totally, yet how do some get by with working and I am stuck at home?
Does any of this sound familiar???
While I don't mean to be a downer for you I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in feeling this way right now. And I am sure all of use feel the same way one time or another as well.
Please keep posting. We do care.:grouphug: