HELP!! Fiancé is Behaving like a Child after Concussion
 

Hello everyone I've decided to post in this forum because I am very desperate for any advice or information regarding symptoms of TBI and behavior. It would help a lot because I am deeply heartbroken and feeling lost. Please take the time to read and respond I would appreciate it very much!

My fiancé was in a concussion for 2 days. He is 23 years old. His doctor told him he was found on the street unconscious and was brought to the emergency room. During this time my fiancé and I were arguing so I did not see him before or after the incident. At first I believed he was lying to make me come to him since I refused to see him so I kept in contact with him through text. I finally decided to meet with him after I had a strange feeling because he seemed different even through our texts.

I met him 2 weeks after his incident and he seemed like himself but a bit different. He told me he lost a portion of his memory, bits and pieces. He still remembered me and our son but couldn't remember the days we spent together or much about our relationship. He also knew that he still loved me but didn't know why.

The second and third time I met him was when I started to see more drastic changes. This was in a week span. Suddenly he began to talk like a 3 year old child. He would whine or whimper if he doesn't get his way. He will put on a crying face. He always looks out the window and murmurs to himself when he's driving. When I ask him questions about things he remembers, he will whine and tell me to stop because he is getting a headache. He seems very dazed and out of it but he can function like a normal adult. He still knows how to drive, take the train, find his way around, remembers directions, cook, etc.

Recently he is acting more like a baby. He is not aware of my feelings and cannot pick up on things. He wants what he wants and if he doesn't get it he gets very upset. At times he will say he doesn't want to be with me anymore and that he doesn't like me. He saw our son but he began to cry so my fiancé just walked away and went home because he could not handle it. He said he doesn't want to be a father anymore or see both of us anymore. I've been talking to him and comforting him like a child to soothe his frustrations.

Before this incident my fiancé was very manly, strong willed, loud, easily irritated, had a temper, was aggressive and always lead the way. He was also always alert and aware of his surroundings because he was in the army. He was a man not a child. We would have meaningful conversations and he took care of me. Now he is the complete opposite. He is soft, timid, calm, acts childish and seems a bit off. He is not aware that he has changed and does not remember who or how he was before except that he had an anger issue.

I really don't know what to do. His family has no idea what happened and they aren't aware. He lives with his parents but his parents are barely home because of work. The man I love is gone and I'm dealing with someone completely different. It's as if he's slowly changing.

Will his maturity level ever be normal? Why is he acting like a child and will he slowly recover? Will he act like an adult again? Sometimes I hear his old voice when he's thinking hard about something like when he was fixing our bumper "You need to fix the light." I will hear his old voice instead of the baby voice for couple seconds and it gives me hope. Maybe his mind is going in and out? I'm not sure why this happens.

PLEASE HELP! He doesn't want to go to the doctor either but we agreed in November to go to the emergency room for medical records.

Personality Changes
 

Oh boy,

It sounds like your fiance is really suffering from this concussion. Please be patient with him.

There can be issues with personality changes and mTbis. This is documented. I can't say, and I doubt a doctor can say if this is permanent. He sounds like he's in early days of brain recovery though.

He needs brain rest and lots of it and also see if he will look at the vitamin stickie too. These things can help, but are no cure all.

He may need therapy down the road or you too. PCS is stressful on relationships and there is a horrible stat out there about break ups and divorce due to brain injuries. I don't want to scare you, but I am going to be honest.

Other, more experienced people will weigh in here too. I am no doctor or nurse.

One more thing.... how about his family? Are they around or can you get more of a support network for him and you in place? You do need to be around people who understand this situation and can help and be postitive.

God bless you,

poetrymom

Hi poetry mom thank you so much for your response!! What kind of doctor should he see? His parents aren't really involved in his life because he keeps things to himself. They are very oblivious to what is going on and how he is. I really don't know where to start in terms of getting him evaluated and therapy etc. And is it harmful if he stresses or tries too hard to remember things? I ask him a lot of questions and he gets a headache. Oh and what are vitamin stickies?

eyoo,

Welcome to NeuroTalk. You fiancee' needs to be seen by a doctor starting with a neurologist and then ask for a referral to a NeuroPsychologist. A physiatrist (Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation) may also be helpful. He needs serious diagnostic work. He should not be driving until this diagnostic work is completed with an understanding of his condition.

Your post is confusing. Was he unconscious for 2 days ? A concussion is a momentary impact that can have prolonged symptoms.

You may want to discuss getting a medical power of attorney so you can discuss his condition with doctors and arrange for his care and treatment. It does not sound like his parents are interested in this part of his life.

I would not be concerned about his emotional maturity. Instead you should be concerned about his ability to use good judgement to provide for you and your son and to avoid being in a car wreck and his overall neurological and mental health. Once these other issues are addressed, then you can work on his emotional maturity. His emotional maturity may make getting the other issues resolved difficult but they will relate to the root causes of his immaturity.

A neurological rehabilitation clinic or hospital may be a good start to find some answers. If there is a chance he was assaulted on the street, your state may have a victims assistance fund that can help get him diagnosed.

Please feel free to tell us more about his injury and diagnostics and such. We have very little information to use to help you.

My best to you.

Can you at least tell us the area of the brain that was injured? Thanks.

Good advice from Mark above, he needs to be thoroughly evaluated by a neurologist and/or physiatrist and a clinical neuropsychologist. That he was found with an unknown duration of unconsciousness and taken to the ER suggests at least a severe concussion, and could be likely be classified as a moderate TBI.

Will he recover? It's likely, but this is where he needs medical intervention. Depending on the outcome of the neurological assessment, therapies will likely be prescribed. Brain injuries take time to heal and in my experience the chances of the best outcomes will be increased by appropriate therapies. Like your fiancé I had memory, emotional and other issues that were greatly helped by time and appropriate speech and occupational therapy.

For additional informtion and resources you may want to check to see if there is a Brain Injury Association for your state:

http://biaa.org/

Best to you both.

Sorry should have mentioned this in my last post. He probably shouldn't be driving until he gets tested for visuospatial orientation and reflexes. Laws vary by state but in Arizona I had to have a MD release and also retake the driving portion to get my driving privileges restored after my TBI diagnosis.

Changes
 

I remember when my husband told me that I was talking like a teenager. It made me cry. But I really couldn't put words together well and I couldn't follow conversations.
A concussion causes a lot of strange symptoms. Those of us that have been through it understand.
It can also change your expression of emotions, including crying easily.
If you meet with good doctors and learn more, it will help him. Try not to judge.
Just try to imagine how scary and confusing it is to be him right now.
Su