I am missing my friend
 

I just feel so sad, I miss my dear friend Pam W. We were very close and though she died in the summer of 2004 it still hurts like it was yesterday. I miss her so much, she taught me so much about dignity and how to embrace life even though we were disabled. She was a quadraplegic, but she always smiled and never had a bad thing to say about anyone.

I miss her so much. Her daughter has since had three lovely children and is a mother now herself, but I haven't seen her or the kids, I am grateful she saw her first grandson born, but it still aches because I don't have her to talk to anymore.

I wrote my memoir, started before her passing, and it's called A Story of Two Pams, and I hope to see it published. I am such a sniveling mess right now I doubt I will be able to breathe through my nose tonight and be able to use my CPAP machine. It's so hard sometimes, I tried to call her mother and just talk with her but I got the answering machine. I will call tomorrow and hopefully we both won't cry, but I have a feeling we will.

I don't expect any replies, I just needed to post about Pam. She was such a brave and wonderful woman, I hope I made her proud by finishing that memoir. Maybe it will be published in the next decade if I can get an agent or publisher interested and then the world will know our story. :(

:hug: Pam :hug: I'm sure that you made her proud by finishing the memoir. It's okay to sniffle and weep. It's all a apart of the process of grieving. Grieving takes time but the ache in your heart will always be there. But it's a good ache, an ache of all the good times and memories you had.

((((((Pam)))))),

http://chocolate-moose.p5.org.uk/MIN...bears-mini.gif

I wish you weren't having to go through this :(

I love the idea of the book. I've always believed that writing about people that we've loved and now miss is a wonderful way to bring their memory into the future -- to those who never got a chance to know the people that we love.

It's cool that her grandchildren will have the chance to know their grandma better because of your writing. You're creating a chain to tie the generations together :cool:

Hugs.

Barb :hug:

Thank you BJ and you too Barb, I really appreciate your kind words. I promised her I'd finish it and I have after three years I finally got to a point in life where I felt I could pick up the story again and I did and finished irt in only a few months. I am feeling better this morning and know in my heart that she is proud of me for finishing the story. Someday it will be published, I think I have to get some of my other pieces put out there before the memoir will sell, but I am sure it will sell someday. :)

Thank you both again for being so kind and offering your condolances, it made me feel better. :)