NeuroTalk Support Groups - Moodswings and RSD

Hi Renee, it seems like you are having a rough time right now. I was reading one of your other posts earlier this evening and I had to chuckle because it sounded like we were in the same boat. I used to have really bad mood swings the first few years of this. Like you said, I too was a people pleaser, I had tons of energy, was really active and a lot of people, friends and co workers were always coming to me when they needed their spirits lifted. Then there was the RSD and the pain and all the meds and the isolation and the fear. I was trying to behave like nothing was wrong but everything had changed and it was all wrong. Not only was I in enormous pain, to the point where I was not able to have a conversation, not even with my husband, but I had completely lost all control. I was screaming at the dog, miserable and nasty to be around. One day, the dogs face told me all I needed to know. I was a sea hag. I don't know if what was going on with me could be considered a mood swing, but I was behaving really out of character for me.

We all have so many big issues that we all deal with everyday and have done so for years. If you are like me, you try to handle a lot of details and issues on your own. I try very hard to not whine and complain or be difficult to be around, for my husband's sake. I think that helps to keep me in check with being difficult to live with. Nothing is as easy as it was, we don't just get up early and go yo breakfast on weekends like we did so long ago, I don't have friends out of the house especially since we have moved a few times. I don't have the social opportunities that having a job and getting out of the house used to have, life gets overwhelming. I can only imagine that in a lot of ways we all deal with some of these issues. The question is, when is it too much and how can we better manage the emotions associated with this disease?

I never used to be a list maker or a note taken, until RSD. I have found these last ten years that when a big decision needs to be made or a problem solved, that making a list of pros and cons or things I need to focus on, is really helpful. A lot of the time, I get my husband in on the list too. What goes on in this house affects him too, and if I need his help, a list is a good way to get him on the same page without my coming across as a whiner or helpless. It's a proactive way to find a solution. Ultimately, for me, when I was losing it, I was trying to do too much, I needed to find ways to feel in more control and I needed batter pain management, better med control. It's stressful for your body to have constant flares of pain. Finding meds that allow you better control, smooth out the rough edges and frayed nerves, if that is where you are lacking makes a huge difference. For me it was finally accepting that there may be benefits to being on a slow release medications VS trying to stay on top of the pain taking say Percocet every 4 hours, which was not enough. Honestly, that was the biggest change for me. It certainly broke my heart when I realized how much I was screaming at my dog. And it still feels good every time the little guys come to me to be cuddled and nurtured. That is when I know I am doing ok.

Having to deal with the Fibromyalgia on top of the RSD too, is a little hard to handle, especially when it flares. It becomes the straw that breaks the camel's back. Some times i feel like if I only had the RSD, I could pull this off with more grace. There are times too, when I think that anyone who JUST has to live with fibromyalgia and complains about it, is a ***** and a whimp! I want to say that out loud, when someone tells me they know someone who has fibromyalgia, like they just cracked a cold case because they know what I'm going through, just because the fibromyalgia is something they understand. It seems like a lot of people on this forum have multiple pain issues, if not multiple pain diseases, then other pain problems, in addition to their RSD. That is a lot to take on, a lot to deal with when the people around you don't know what you physically feel, despite their sympathetic or empathetic understanding.

I hope your tomorrow is better. I have to say too, the fact that you realize and know that you are having problems dealing with stuff Megan's you are half way there. Try making a list, it always surprises me at what comes out and how much easier it is to solve things. Besides since the RSD I have a terrible short term memory, so writing things down is a must for me. And if it is the pain that is out of control and management changes need to be made, make a list of what sort of distractions might work, or do you think if you had some PT, or you need to just talk and decompress, if things like that work for you.
I hope you find some peace. Soft hugs, Sylvia