I need help
 

I am an 18 year old male. I was a very functional self sufficent, straight A student up til 2 and a half months ago. I was diagnosed with a concussion in football practice.

At first I didn't think much of it, I knew there was something wrong but couldn't put my finger on it. I slowley started to get worse having to quit my job and be home bound from school. I don't have headaches very often, they are the least of my worries. I feel like a totally new person (not in a good way). I began with the crippling anxiety that made me believe I was going insane and losing control. I thought I was terminal and didn't understand what was happening to me.

After expierencing the most horrific panic attacks I have been stuck in this depersonalized/derealization state of mind. A part of me goes through the motions of life while another part of me questions every thought or action I have to try and deem if it's "normal". I constantly have crippling worrying thoughts and feel as if my life is over.

I see my neurologist every month and he has assured me that all this is normal for recovery of concussions. This isn't my first concussion either, I have had multiple minor ones in the past.i also see my psychiatrist and psychologist every week. I was started on zoloft a month and a half ago at 50mg. I have recently been upped to 100 mg. I hate it! I was doing fine in my recovery on the 50mg even going back to school for half days. I have recently relapsed and feel like I'm back at square one. I feel weird from this medication and once my dosage increased have been expierencing muscle twitches, constantly clammy feet and hands, crippling anxiety and everything else you can probably think of.

I just feel so out of control and I don't know how to get it back. I just sit and have deep philosophical thoughts all day and constantly feel like I'm losing touch with reality and my old self as each day passes. I am trying to be a warrior and I do have a decent support system. I am scared and desperate to the point where I cannot leave my room. Is this all from the concussions in the past or am I insane?please help!

Eamon44,

Welcome to NeuroTalk. What you are going through is quite common. Your anxiety levels should be getting better attention. You may need something other than Zoloft. Some people do not respond the same to drugs. Ask your psychiatrist if there is something else you can try. I am on Celexa. The side-effects are minimal. Even a short time with a benzo like Klonopin may be worthwhile while you transition to something else. Ask your doctor. IMO, these drugs should not be prescribed by a neurologist but instead, by a psychiatrist. I hope that is your case.

Your history of concussions puts you in the 'multiple impact syndrome' category. This can contribute to more serious symptoms and a longer recovery time. It can even cause you to have prolonged symptoms that need to be managed since they may not heal completely. I suggest you stop contact sports permanently.

In the mean time, you need to find some low stress activities to occupy your time and attention. You want something with a low cognitive load. Activities that require the use of your hands more then your mind will be helpful. No video games or high stimulating music or videos. Playing solitaire with real cards can be good. Learn to knit or crochet. Many NFL players use knitting to settle their minds after games. I have used old movies as ways to occupy my mind. Nothing with intense action or high suspense plots.

I also suggest you read the sticky at the top about Vitamins and Supplements. Your brain needs extra nutrition. The vitamins are not a quick fix. The brain needs weeks and months of a healthy environment to slowly purge the toxins from the injury and start to rebuild. The B-12 and B-complex with D3 are the most important for your injured brain. I take B-12 three times a day. 1000 mcgs of methylcobalamin B-12 would be a good start. L-Tryptophan and L-Theanine may also be helpful.

It will be very helpful to get a good assessment of your upper neck. Many concussion symptoms are due to upper neck injuries that go undiagnosed and untreated. Read the thread "I'm cured" by sleepybo. Remember that the head is connected to the neck. Anything that traumatizes the head also impacts the neck. C-1 and C-2 can be easily injured and need careful diagnostics and treatment. Head aches often are related to upper neck injuries.

Try to stay away from the deep philosophical thoughts. They are too stressful. Find short duration activities and rotate between the activities to keep you mind occupied with things other than introspection.

Please stay in touch. There are plenty of good people here to support you. And feel free to ask anything. We've heard it all.

My best to you.

Mark,

Thank you for replying so quick man. I really appreciate it. I'm just so confused and feel totally out of control. I go from being all district team captain football player to not being able to control my own thoughts anymore. I feel totally different. I will definitely take your advice about the vitamins and activities. But I just need a voice of reason because no one I talk to can relate to me or understand what I'm going through.

Sorry to hear about your struggles. I can relate.
I can assure you that the brain heals and grows, but the lesson I learned is that it takes time. Some people faster than others. I think it is important to take one day at a time, give yourself the time to heal, and be a good advocate for yourself. It takes work to get better!

This is definitely the most difficult thing I have ever done or experienced. It is hell. Go easy on yourself. You will heal!
Hang in there. Lots of good advice from people here.

You don't have to take any medication that you don't want to.

A neurologist recommended that I take Zoloft early on in my recovery and I did although I really didn't want to. It caused some very frightening and scary side-effects - I hallucinated - it was terrifying.

Later, I saw a psychiatrist who was shocked that I had been put on that medication and some others. He had a good deal of experience with patients recovering from tbi/concussion and he says that our brains are especially sensitive to medication and that he wouldn't prescribe me a thing until I had neuropsychological testing completed.

I totally agree with Mark that you should try something different if you don't think the Zoloft is working.

I didn't experience straight up panic attacks, but I did suffer from some severe anxiety and eventually my PCP prescribed me some Xanax that I could take every once in a while and it worked wonders for me.

welcome here
 

Hello!

It's so scary to be going through all the changes you are feeling and observing. It's really good you are observing it and verbalizing your dissassociated feelings and anxiety too. Your symptoms are real and so is PCS.

NeuroTalk is a great place and many good people will weigh in here with support and ideas. Mark and Ester were right. If the Zoloft doesn't seem to be working for you, then see what else might work.

The anxiety will pass, but it's important to be aware of it.

Mark was also right about the CTE. I hope you stop with contact sports and preserve your brain. You only get one brain.

Do read up on the vitamins and nutrition for healing your brain.See the sticky at the top here. I am a huge believer in good supplements and good food. I know it has helped me and I hope it will help you too.

Know that you can get better from PCS and everyone has their own journey with it -- just as no 2 brain injuries are the same either.

Keep asking your questions and let us know how you are too.

Sincerely,

Poetrymom

Eamon44, I'm in the same boat as you....IT SUCKS! I went through traditional PCS symptoms and then recovered, only to have them return followed-up by a single massive panic attack which has put me in the same depersonalized/derealization state like you. The philosophical and life questions/thoughts are debilitating at times. As impossible as it is, I make it a point to force myself to stop focusing, researching and educating myself on the subject when I'm feeling well. I feel like this only furthers the crippling cycle. However, for nights like tonight, where I simply feel like crap, I allow myself to "indulge".

Are your psychiatrist and psychologist visits strictly because of your current situation? And what do you discuss with them?

Yes before this whole situation happened I lived a perfectly normal life. I only go to psychiatrist now for treating anxiety and depression which resulted from the concussion.