A Bad Week
 

This past Sunday my husband and I did a lot of house work, including cleaning the floors on our hands and knees. I have been feeling great, except some headaches, so I thought I would be okay. This week has been one of the worst weeks since I really began to recover in October. The vibrations/tingling/pulsating in my body during sleep came back, and sometimes when I'm awake. I can hear something in my left ear that sounds like blood flowing, the same sound you get when you try to move your ears. A deep rumble. It's constant at night and difficult to sleep through.

I have been sleeping (in and out) for long periods - 9, 10, 11 hours. My brain fog has slowly returned this week and today I feel like I'm at square one. Last night, a German Shepherd whipped its head up and knocked me in the nose. I'm fighting the temptation to obsess and worry over it. While in and out of sleep last night I woke once to find my arm totally numb. It did come back but not with tingling, it just slowly returned to normal as I mentally woke up. There is something about my mind being alert versus being asleep that correlates with the tingling, pulsating, etc. It was not the arm I was lying on.

I'm waiting for the neurologist to call me back about the possible side effects of nortriptyline (10mg, been on it for about 3 weeks for headaches) and fear that they will increase my gabapentin. I've had these feelings before the nortriptyline but the ones lately are a more muted version. The reason I fear that is because as I add more medicine, I feel like I'm not figuring out the source of the problems and only complicating things by adding more medicines.

Wow ... I'm just amazed at how quickly these symptoms return. I'm having regrets about overdoing it Sunday, and back to old thoughts about why the heck did all this happen originally. I know that had the "concussion specialist" I saw early on had told me to stay away from coffee and alcohol I'd be in a much better place right now. Basically, I am feeling sorry for my 29-year-old self today. I'm also worried about a repeat of the night I had a crashing headache and woke with a droopy face. No one has ever been able to tell me what in the world that was, and when I google it, it sounds like I had a stroke. I don't know if that's the case, but I'm afraid of it happening again.

I had applied for a part time library position but did not get the job. I was thinking of volunteering at the hospital 2-10 hours a week in order to help me get on my feet again but now I am fearing that will not be good for my recovery. It's been more than 6 months. I am not working or going to school, and our life plans as we knew them are gone or at least on hold.

I totally understand, I have the same head/ear sensations...for me it's been everyday, whooshing, ringing, ear fullness, unsteadiness, fatigue, headache..I have been hopeful that one day i would be close to my old self, but there are times when I think this is who and what i am now. I think of my family and that's what gets me through everyday. I wish I can go back in time and do things differently that day...keep positive and think of your family, it will help you each and every day.

ED:hug:

I don't think you should be concerned about not being warned against caffeine and alcohol. Any delays in recovery were minimal. I doubt you over-did it with either.

The clean up may have upset your system for three reasons. The physical exertion, exacerbating upper neck issues and the stress of cleaning chemicals and their inhaled components. I was set back by staining some paneling outdoors where I thought the breeze would limit the inhalation factor. We live and learn.

My best to you.

Ed, thanks for being there. Mark, thanks for pointing out those things. It makes sense and it calms me down.

Hope things are a bit better! I have been on 10 mg of nortrypiline for 30 days and so far NO side effects. Perhaps helps with headaches. Today I received two shots of lidocaine at the back of my neck below the skull for "occipital neuraligia' - new neurologist says I have that. So far...headache is gone!!! We shall see tomorrow.

Things get better.... But it can be slow and painful. It is hell, really. Hang in there.

Hey Vanila Bean

It's a real trick to learn what is OVERdoing something and how it affects our healing and injured brains.

If you need rest, you just do. I found that sometimes I thought I was getting sick, like a little nausia, and it was that I needed to rest.

Brain rest and some of the ensuing naps I used to need were like nothing I've ever felt before. My brain used to just shut me down and I would have a nap and wake sometimes not feeling better.

I hope you get the rest you need.

Take care

poetrymom

Poetrymom,

That makes sense. I start doing so well and I begin thinking I'm having a nice, steady, uphill recovery. Of course that's not true for PCS, but that's how I've missed my warning signs. My warning sign (which I didn't think about until now) is foggy head. On a daily basis, headaches tell me that I need to lie down.

Thanks for bringing up this important point. I'm doing better (about 9 days later). I'm looking forward to being an even better PCS person from now on. I just keep learning about this new lifestyle.

Are you still feeling as great as you indicate in your signature?

VB

Hi Vanillabean

I am better since I wrote the siggy, but I think I wrote that before I got more into the school year. Work is good, but it's also demanding on the brain and me. So, I do get tired and really tired I find.

I do find that I can get symptoms back again when I OVERdo it, and that did happen when I went to an Elton John concert. The whole thing was just exhilerating, and I should have worn my sunglasses!!! I had a little light sensitivity after that and oh some fatigue came back too.

I find it's so hard to know what IS over doing it when I feel better. It's just so easy for me to forget.

But I am far more than less better -- and continue to heal too. It's so odd and wonderful sometimes, and sad too. I do mourn my old ME sometimes, but the NEW ME is a nicer, kinder, funnier, slower, more patient, can be quieter person.

I don't think I will ever use the word RECOVERED like I could for other things, but it's all right. I am alive. I live. I have vitality, and hope

everyone

can feel some joy again.

Thank you Vanilla Bean

Sincerely,

pm