Dealing...
 

There was a time,
Remembered so well,
A memory of life
Before all this hell.

I thought that things
Were very sure,
And all I had
Was quite secure.

But then on one
Hot summer day,
Something unexpected
Swept it away.

Not all at once,
But bit by bit
It slipped away
And would not quit.

Until now it seems
That the next thing to go
Will be my children, wife,
And the only home I know.

To this I don’t know
How I can deal,
And wonder constantly
If I ever will.

I cannot breathe;
My hands keep shaking.
My mind gets lost,
And my heart is quaking.

I’m floating in
The darkest void
Where all that’s bright
Has been destroyed.

And yet I feel
I must pretend
That this is not
At all the end.

I struggle hard
To find a smile,
And act my part
For just a while.

So others won’t
Feel out of place,
And I won’t suffer
Loss of face.

Then at the end
Of every day,
When all the world
Is tucked away

I find a place
Of solitude,
Where nothing else
Can come intrude.

And there I hide
To fight my fears;
And pray to God
To bless my tears.

Until emotions emptied,
And hiding the pain,
The very next day
I do it again.