Mom needs help with kids understanding.
 

Hello, I'm a new member. back in October I hit my head and suffered from a concussion. Now I am coping with Post Concussion Syndrome. Some days are better than others. I do suffer from frequent headaches, fatigue, short and long term memory loss. I cannot handle loud noises or bright lights. Some days are calm emotional wise but others feel like a roller coaster ride. I have 3 kids. Ages are 9, 12, and 17. I'm having a difficult time getting them to understand why I'm like this and that I'm no longer that very energetic, mostly patient person I used to be. I have forgotten routines I did everyday with my youngest and she is heartbroken. My 17 year old has chronic migraines and keeps comparing what I have to that and unfortunately it's not the same. In general, I appear healthy and they don't understand that for now this is the new norm for our family. I don't want to tell them too much and scare them either. Is there any advice that anyone can share to help me help my kids understand Post Concussion Syndrome and the healing process that I'm going through?

SKaylor,

Welcome to NeuroTalk. I am sorry to hear of your struggles. You can read the sticky post at the top called Vitamins. At the bottom of the first post are links to "You Look Great" on YouTube and another helpful explanation of PCS "Lost and Found". The vitamin regimen would also be good for you.

You can try to explain your PCS with some of these ideas if the above links do not help. Your brain has lost some of its ability to filter out auditory and visual stimuli. For your migraine 17 yo, it is like having a migraine but still needing to do a complicated school assignment. The pain gets in the way of the attempt to focus to do the work. For you, the visual and auditory stimuli are constantly getting in the way of your need to think.

I would not worry about scaring them with details. They already are confused and maybe scared. Knowledge can be empowering. Tell them enough so you can enlist their help as you recover.

Make a list of the routines you did with the 9 year old so you can try to follow the list. Many of us have had to mechanize our days because the old memorized processes and activities just do not flow without prompts.

You say you have long term memory loss. If you are saying you don't remember the past, this is rare. More common is a difficulty converting short term memories into long term memories. This is often tied to poor sleep. The concussed brain often struggles to get good REM sleep where short term memories are converted to long term memories.

The brain's inability to filter out sensory stimulation often prevents the deep REM sleep the brain needs. I find I need to find a very comfortable sleeping position with very comfortable temperature and sleep clothes and sheets. This cozy feeling allows me to sleep much more soundly and deeply.

Your good days and roller coaster days are likely tied to how well you slept the night before or the activity level of the previous day. Often, we have a good day so we increase our activity level. Then, we crash the next day.

Please feel free to ask for help and tell us anything about your struggles. It would help if we knew a bit more about your injury. Often, head injuries are accompanied by upper neck injuries that go undiagnosed. These can be a cause of head aches.

My best to you.

Thank you for the advice and I will definitely read the sticky posts. I got the concussion when I hit a door frame in my house head on. I was rushing around trying to clean the house before my dr appt for bronchitis. The center of my forehead hit it and I had a huge bump on my head from it. When I went to the doctors he never said anything about the bump on my head so I didn't think it was serious and just put ice on it and took some ibuprofen for the pain. A couple days later my husband noticed I had slurred speech. I kept getting dizzy, and I was really tired. I couldn't keep up with a conversation and had a hard tiime finding the words i wanted to say. He took me to the dr and a ct scan was taken and came back normal. Soon after I had my first ever anxiety attack. I was trying to act as if nothing happened and do my normal day to day stuff. That's when the dr, my husband and I got serious about paying attention to the mental effects of pcs and I don't remember has become a very common phrase I say a lot now.

I suggest you and your husband watch the You Look Great YouTube together, maybe even with your 17 yo. It takes about an hour to watch all 6 segments. Then, you can have a family meeting and decide on some rules for helping 'Mom' live in a environment that will support recovery.

Gosh, it sounds like I could have written your post . . . I, too, fell in October outside my home and hit my right temple in a freak wipe out and was knocked unconscious for about 10-15 min. My jaw was dislocated and at first didn't realize I was knocked out . . . fast forward to now . . . I watch my hubby and boys drive away to hockey and family events while I stay home . . . going out is overwhelming to any place with florescent lighting, lots of people, motion . . . get car sick, getting really annoyed at my kids, emotional, headaches, pressure in my head, and short term memory loss which is odd. If I'm talking to people I will often be heard saying . . . did I tell you this already? . . .

The hardest part is not being the mom I used to be . . . my oldest son for the first time, had a drop in his performance at school and my youngest has overachieved to the point of trying to be perfect . . .

Just want you to know you're not alone . . . I currently am:
- seeing a concussion dr who put me on omega 3s, coconut oil to help absorb those, a good multi vitamin (whole food), eating protein around the clock . . .
- seeing a chiro who gives me eye tracking exercises,
- try to walk at least half hour a day
- am seeing an osteopath in two weeks
- also trying to eat healthier
- learned to crochet to help keep me off the computer . . .

Keep hanging in there.

good video
 

yes, that video on youtube is really powerful. It will help explain a lot to your family. My mom watched it and my daughter (16 at the time) watched some of it too.

Everything Mark told you is really good advice. You will find support here too. We all "get" it and you can vent, ask questions, and find help here too.

Please know there is hope in all of this. And brain healing is a marathon of learning your triggers and working around them.

As for recovery, try to keep a track of what you could do. Brain healing takes months and weeks. It's not chartable like bone healing, but there is healing.

Hang in there!

Poetrymom