Weird Question
 

Hey Peeps,

Again, thanks in advance for your responses. This place is invaluable in dealing with this disease.

Being young and single (and very lonely) but living with this is taking it's toll -- and I've decided I need to try to date. I'm contemplating the online route, as I really don't go out anymore (due to the pain).

My question for all of you is this: should I include an explanation of CRPS and the fact that I have it? Personally, it really takes a toll from my confidence as there's nights where I just don't want to do anything but soak my feet in hot water and relax...and I feel like it's going to interrupt my ability to be a good partner to someone. On the flip side, I worry that putting "up front and center" might scare someone away.

yes and no. Some people actually like caring for their partner, they have a caretaker complex . It does make it more interesting then hard its about striking a balance. Dave and I for example I do the taxes the budget and the bills intellectual things he works and does the housework I can't. I met him after my rsd started so it can work out. They just have to be the right person.

Maybe a small side note, be super honest about what the pain does to you Dave and I had a few rough patches getting him to understand some things. Like the canceling plans last minute or leaving parties early but it sure helps he is a geek rather then a jock! So he always wants to kick back at home!

You do need to socialize so I think dating is great!
My advice is maybe at some point early on make mention
that you have a condition similar to Muscular Dystrophy but
it's in your nerves and that IF & WHEN you get to know them
better you'll share details and your coping mechanisms.
If that little bit scares them away, well then..... move on.
Or is there an "in person" support group in your area?
Maybe look at RSDHope.org under support groups.

Hey Toe! I will be married 15 years in August, to a wonderful man I met online. So there is success in it, you just have to exercise caution (meaning there are some crazies out there :eek:). Here is my story: I have had RSD for 23 years, but it started in my face and I was in remission when I met my husband. I say remission because it wasn't in full on pain all the time, I had flares that were manageable with meds. I suffered terrible migraines my entire life and I had some bad attacks of pain in my head when we were on dates. He would just hold me and not leave until the pain eased up (he lived an hour away). Before we met face-to-face, we emailed, instant messaged and talked on the phone a lot for a couple of weeks. In one of our conversations, he told me that he played competitive tennis since he was 12 years old. He then told me that he was born with cerebral palsy which affected his right side. My reply was "So. It obviously hasn't slowed you down". It never bothered me. When we met, I knew immediately that he was "the one". (I never believed in that sort of thing until then) I asked him to marry me one month after we met and we got married a month later. I have had so many health issues before and after we met. Our relationship has only gotten better and stronger. My RSD began to spread in 2007 and is now throughout most of my body, plus the other things it has caused. I would not be able to make it through this fight if it wasn't for him. I honestly mean that.

I think that you should share your RSD/CRPS with your potential mate, but only when the time is right. If it scares someone away, then they are not the right one for you. My husband told me about how many dates he went on before we met, as soon as they saw his right arm they were done (drawn up and a little smaller - he can't really use it). It didn't even phase me. I saw his beautiful eyes and smile and was hooked :)

I wish you the best on this new venture. It will be a great adventure for you.
Nanc
:hug:

I think you should try to be as normal as possible. We all know we arent gonna be much fun at times, and sometimes that might be the norm for a few days sadly. But we always come out of the flare and are able to cope on some level.

I have been married for 36 yrs, so not to much of an expert on dating anymore lol. But I believe there is someone for everyone, and you wont find them if your not looking ;)

When I found out I had RSD, and what that meant. I told my wife to go ahead and move on because I wasnt going to be that person she married. But she has stuck with me, and has been sooooo supportive.......Im really not sure I would be here to write this without having her help me through some rough places, even when I didnt want the help lol.