My Nonexistent Libido
 

I'm not exactly sure when it started, but I know it was around 2009 when I started to lose interest in having sex. I wasn't on any antidepressants or anything of that nature until 2011 and it seems to have gotten worse since I bead counted myself off of the Cymbalta, that took 9 months to do. Luckily, I didn't have any major side-effects - or so I thought.

I used to have a very healthy sexual appetite. Now it's like I don't even want my fiance touching me. It was like that before him and the guy before him. It was nothing wrong with them - well, my ex-husband wouldn't wash his *** and had to be told - he also picked up a cigarette smoking habit. So add that on top of his poor hygiene practices he developed the moment we got married and that can kind of explain why I wouldn't touch him with someone else's poking stick. It doesn't explain the guy and my current fiance. Well, forget the other guy, my fiance is important at this point. I feel this issue is going to hinder our relationship. He doesn't seem to understand why I'm not in the mood - ever.

I don't understand why I'm not in the mood, either. I think about sex and I immediately thing "chore, a waste of time and energy, I could be reading a book" or something along those lines. The sex is fine, nothing wrong with how the sex is, it's just the idea of sex that makes me cringe. Would this have anything to do with my past? I was molested as a kid and it still has some effect on my life as an adult. Could those repressed memories have caused this or the antidepressants?

I get more joy out of pleasing myself than having sex with my partner and my mind is totally find with that.

Given that, I'm a little surprised/curious you have a fiancée, but that's neither here nor there.

I'm a little unclear on the medication timeline. Cymbalta is an SNRI, and as such has the potential for sexual dysfunction.
If this is the cause/reason, something you might look into trying is L-tryptophan—a precursor to serotonin. L-tryptophan is not an aphrodisiac; it is an amino acid whose production is reduced by taking antidepressants. Sometimes it can help restore brain chemistry balance after antidepressants have been stopped. Consult your doctor about this.

DO NOT take L-tryptophan if you are taking any antidepressants or other medications that increase production or decrease re-uptake of serotonin, as this can lead to a potentially life-threatening condition called serotonin syndrome.

I'm not so sure he is—or will be over time.

IMO, a more likely candidate is the molestation.

childhood molestation effects in adulthood

That would best be addressed by a professional. This is nothing to be ashamed of or be embarrassed about; you were/are the victim here—not the perpetrator. You are definitely not alone, and there are support groups for/specifically addressing those kinds of issues.

childhood molestation support

Doc