Bi-Polar or tantrum?
 

OK. I truly want to ask this without offending anyone so I hope I word this correctly. I do know a bit about bi-polar but do not claim to be an expert, or even close to it. A bit of an explanation of how I gained some of my knowledge-I spent ~15yrs seeing diff doctors seeking an answer to my 'problem' and was diagnosed with, among other mental disorders, bi-polar. I went to groups, took meds, read up on it...blah blah blah. So I'm not an expert, like I said, but I have a fair amount of experience with the treatment, symptoms, etc. Oh and I was even hospitalized a few times...fun times (sarcasm). Turns out I have, had since birth or at least early childhood, right temporal lobe epilepsy and NOT any of the stuff I'd been told or treated for, in ffact some of those meds cause seizures.
ANYWAY, fastforward a few years and I'm now co-habitating with a man who says he has been diagnosed bi-polar. He says he's been on37 medications and none worked for him. He refuses therapy as well. I do not see the up and down moods. All I see are bouts of what I can only describe as tantrums when he doesn't get his way or things get on his nerves. I do believe this is either a learned behaviour from childhood (I've been told he did exhibit it very early on) or a mental issue. He claims he doesn't always remember the hateful things he says but I've tested that by repeating something but changing it a bit and suddenly he can repeat the whole thing right after denying remembering it. Also he sems to be able to turn it off if he senses he will get in trouBle- ie a neighber calls the police.
Sound like bi-polar???

If he is violent, you need to move out now.

It's hard to know if he has bipolar from this.

Keep in mind that some people could have combinations of various things like bipolar/personality disorder/ severe depression /brain disorder, . . ..
Lots of people diagnosed bipolar do not have ups and downs -- with or without medication.
He seems agitated. Is he anxious?

Those tantrums can be medicated and dealt with in talk therapy.

M

I do wish he would agree to talk therapy but he fights against any treatment. He was seeing a therapist when we first started seeing each other however but slowly stopped and won't really give a reason other than 'Nothing helps'. I understand that frustration as I dealt with it for so many years seeking help for my own illness. However I don't understand just giving up all together when you must clearly be unhappy as are those around you.
He is not physically violent but is definately emotionally abusive and it does take a toll on everyone who knows him. Most can ignore phone calls or not visit until his 'fits' are over but I do take the brunt of it. I have many times considered leaving but my options are very limited at the moment. With no family or friends to help out and a small disability check I have the choice of a homeless shelter. Not the worst option I suppose but also not the best situation (in at night but out on the streets 6am-6pm) for a disabled epileptic. I am however saving a little at a time and keeping my eyes open for a pLace I might be able to afford.
I truly appreciate your answer. It was very helpful to me.

It sounds abusive to me....mental can be worse than physical, lasts longer.
I am glad that you are saving up money.
Sorry that you are not more financially stable at the time.
It does seem that I have heard others say that the epilepsy goes with bipolar at times.
there are many anti convulsant meds treated for bipolar.
depakote, trileptal, lamictal which I take.
interesting.
welcome to the forums
bizi

Hi MelissaCH I'm very familiar with people who have temper tantrums. I had a family member who had a horrible temper problem. My dad could turn it off also,but when his temper was raging,the words,and anger would penetrate me,and hurt me deeply. Dad refused to go through therapy.

I understand. Do you have a brother,or sister that can help you? Brokenfriend:hug::hug::hug::grouphug:

M

I wish you had better days.

I was diagnosed bipolar and I do not go up or down.
Before I was medicated I had mixed moods -- both depressed and anxious/up at the same time.
It was difficult and doctors really stink at fixing it.

Now that I am medicated I am less depressed and less anxious -- enough that I can act normal 65% of the time. The rest of the time, I need lots of quiet and down time.


Claiming not to remember and then remembering does not seem like a bipolar thing to me.
And I cannot remember exactly what being able to turn it off means. That means he has awareness and some degree of control of his behavior. And cannot remember what else.

Do his family members have mental illness?
Does he self-medicate with drinking?

Anyway, I am sorry for all that you have gone through with your own diagnosis.



M

Thank you for your kind words and understanding. Yoy are correct about the medications. Many medications are used to both control seizures and stabilize moods but the dosage is different. I am actually on trileptal (and a couple of others) but was prescribed depakote when it was thought my problem was a mood disorder, unfortunately the dose was not effective for a seizures and used in conjuction with an anti-depressant that should never be taken by an epileptic. I believe one of my sisters current meds is lamical.

I've unfortunately allowed myself to become isolated from friends due to his anger (my embaressment over it) and also my seizures so I really don't have friends. I literally know no one. I have a sister who is struggling to get her disability, her seizures are grand mal at this point and she's living with friends in another state. My mother is ill and in assisted living housing. I am afraid I will have to get out of this mess on my own, the same way I got into it :/ I get depressed over it and sometimes feel I can't do it but eventually I will have enough saved up and will be able to do it. Nothing in life comes easy :)

hugs to you melissa.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi