I told my son today.
 

I told my son today all the things I've been trying to hide from him for the past three and a half years. The unrelenting pain that I cannot hide anymore. I didn't want him to know, but I just can't pretend anymore. The pain is too excruciating and my heart is hurting in more ways then one. After my last surgery I've had irregular heartbeats and chest pains. I have to go to a cardiologist SOON. It also hurts because I told my son today how much pain I am constantly in and how the drs said that all they can do is help me to control the pain now is with meds. That there is no cure and no sight of remission in my near future. I think the only thing more painful then having rsd is telling your child that you have rsd and that the reason you go to bed so early (instead of staying up talking to him like old times) is because you don't want him to see you curled up in a ball crying while your skin feels like it's on fire. It broke my already tired and hurting heart to tell him, but it was time. I waited until he graduated college last week. I didn't want to worry him while he was there. I wanted him to be happy with his friends and focus on his studies. So now he knows and he's worried about me. But he seems to be handling it as well as can be expected. He is even trying to help me find a new pm dr who may try new things to help me. A dr who hasn't given up on me. My son is stronger then I thought. He said I should have told him sooner. That he can handle it. I hope he can. I am so proud of him. And though I still feel like hiding it was the right thing to do while he was in college, I am so very glad that I told my son today.

You are stronger than you think!
 

This is for you Renee!
:hug:

Hi Renee
 

I am glad you told your son. We need our families. We need their support. Your son will be in your corner. The apple doesn't all far from the tree. You have great compassion toward others with CRPS. Your son is most likely just like you:D ginnie:hug::grouphug::wink:

Good for you Renee. Hopefully you won't have the stress of trying to keep it hidden now...that should help in more than the obvious ways :)

Bram.

Glad you told your son Renee, good for you! I can understand why you kept it hidden until he got through school, but glad you shared it with him. I am sure he is worried about you, but is thankful to know what is going on. Kids are pretty resilient and he will definitely be in your corner. You should not have to keep anything like this hidden from your loved ones.

Hugs,
Nanc

Renee,good for you,that will take a heavy weight out of your shoulders,you need to feel free and let things flow like they suppose to,your son surly understand and will support you,don't hide the pain,you will consume on it, let it go and feel free and happy , is not worth it keeping the pain a secret,hurts more and when your dealing with more pain you know how bad it gets,wish you always the best ,with loving prayers ,Jesika :grouphug:

It's good that you told him. He loves his mother, I'm sure, and wants no harm to come your way and will be there to back you up.

My wife Suzy hid her RSD from me for two years. She was afraid I'd leave her and effected her mentally in a very profound way. She was convinced in her mind I would leave. That was several years ago, since then our stress levels have been cut at least 75%. She is much much better with less stress, and functions better now than I've seen in 10 years. We will celebrate our 30th Anniversary this June.

Very selfless the things moms & wives do for their families.
That was brave of you Rene' but now maybe some more support
will be good.
There's no way I could hide mine, it was a traumatic surgery
and caused my hand to be deformed as well.

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I just needed to let it out. Your support means more to me then you know. My son is doing better then I thought with the news I gave him. He knew I had rsd from the beginning. He saw me after my closed reduction and saw how deformed my hand and wrist was a few months after. But then with time my hand looked more normal and my surgical wounds healed. That's around the time the pain became more intense internally. I never told him how bad the pain I felt every day was. I never told him how debilitating it was. Luckily he was in college most of the time so he didn't see how crippling rsd was to me. When he did come home I took extra pain meds (which I hid from him also) and struggled to sit with him for a few hours to have dinner and watch tv. He didn't understand and would sometimes get frustrated because I would go to lie down after a few hours. How could he understand. He didn't know. I had to wait until he graduated. Luckily he also graduated in three years instead of four by crunching classes during school breaks. I don't think I could hide the horrific pain that I'm constantly in another year. I know you all understand all too well that pain I feel. Hopefully someday we will all go into remission or there will be a cure. Until then, I feel much better mentally knowing that I can tell my son when I'm too tired or in too much pain to do things with him without having to worry about how he will handle it. He called me today and asked how I was. I said for the first time to him not too good because of my rsd pain. I had to cancel my pm dr appt today because it is raining terribly and the weather was elevating my rsd pain. He said to get some rest and I said I would. He was okay with me telling him the truth. As painful as it is to tell him how I really feel, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can finally be me. A wife and mother and sister and daughter who has rsd and is in constant aching, stabbing and burning pain. A person with rsd who doesn't have to hide the pain anymore. Thank you all again for being my friends. I need your support as much as I need my families support. Take care and I hope you all have a pain free as possible day today.

I have rsd for34 years an have daughter that will turn 26 on Monday the 26 she has know about my condition when she was about 7 she wanted to see how they gave me nerv blocks in my neck. I ask my doctor an he was very good to her an explain to her what they where going to do, she helt my hand when they did the shot, so every time I good she is there for me an holds my hand, she knows more about this crap then some off the doctors I see, I thank god every day for a great daughter an I'm glad you told your son you will be glad you did. Hope you feel better,