feeling yucky, and yucky stuff happening
 

I have had some adversities but was mostly doing ok.

I am having a rough time of it now though.

-- Struggling with a job hunt which so far has led nowhere. Not that I'm doing much, but what I've done has yielded no results.

-- Running out of money completely.

-- Have a nose/throat thing that the docs can't explain/resolve.

-- Irritated by money grubbing relatives trying to rob the wife of a man who didn't have time to make a will

-- Stressed by the theatrics-paperwork-legalities of the above.

-- Anxious... not surprisingly, perhaps. But man, it got bad this week! Lorazepam barely touched it. My cuticles are a bloody massacre.


Not enough I feel bad of my own accord. The other day, I went to a bar to kill time between appointments, and ended up drinking with this "really nice" girl. There were clues but I didn't put them together till later... I think she was hitting on me?

Ewwww!!!! REally???? What next???

So on top of being sick, penniless, and jobless, and feeling discouraged, inept, clueless, anxious, etc, I now also feel disgusted and disgusting. :(:o

waves

You are about as far away from "disgusting" as a person can get. In fact, people who really are disgusting, never think they are. :)

Don't beat yourself up - that's what relatives are for. (Just kidding, family.)

Waves, :grouphug:

These are difficult times for you. I am very sorry that you are going through this. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Family money stuff is huge because the battles are really about what happened in childhood or even generations ago.
(Patterns are passed down and play out over lifetimes I noticed.
For example, one group has felt ignored, mistreated, unappreciated --- this applies even if it is not true -- but people feel it as if it is true.)


I am sad that the "really nice" girl turned out not to be a possible friend.
(I know I would be happy to have a friend.)


Lots and lots of hugs.

Stupid question: by any chance have the docs tried cortisone-type treatments? That worked for me once.
http://www.rxlist.com/flonase-drug.htm


M

Hockey
 

Hi,

Thanks Hockey. Yeah, there were other weird things about that situation that weirded me out, and that I feel I should have figured out or tried to. Maybe it was nothing, but I don't know. Then there's something that isn't about her but about me. She brought the last beer without asking, and I really didn't want it. I kind of objected but then finished it just because I felt awkward and afraid to offend her. I don't understand why I couldn't just say, thanks, but I am good -- and I'm disgusted with my spinelessness in that. I have done this on other occasions, not involving alcohol and not under the influence. I'm just spineless.

The family... yeah, I know. And I'd ignore it if I could, but I can't because I have been talked to about it constantly, have had people carrying on about it around me, have had to research the legal stuff etc. So I'm basically just real sick of it all.

Thanks for not being disgusted with me, lol. And it's true, the really disgusting ones probably do not feel disgusted with themeselves, lol. :) :hug:

waves

Mari
 

Thanks Mari. Yes, it just seems to be coming from every which way and it is getting to me.

Yep, you're "right on the money"... ehm, so to speak. :D Seriously, my aunt does seem to be hung up on something that happened when they were kids. I'm just sick of it and the legal stuff is messy. Hopefully we'll be out of it soon.

Yeah. Some other doubts about her upset me maybe more or in combination. Otherwise could maybe just set her straight no pun intended. But no, not going to go there.

Thank you, yes, I've actually used a steroid spray on and off for years. I have a thing that started about six months ago, in spite of it. The ENT's "explanation" was chronic pharyngitis due to tonsillectomy. What? My tonsils have been absent for forty years, an my pharynx has been fine until a few months ago! The main problem I have is with an irritating secretion which preceded any obvious soreness. No explanation for that. I'm a bit better off with infection ruled out -- safe to try increasing the spray. He actually rx'd a double dose of a newer spray which I'll try. Never know.

Hugs to you as well. :hug::hug: :)
waves

hi waves,
I am sorry that you have been struggling.:hug::hug::hug:
Your poor cuticles...I understand.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Hi Waves. I'm sorry for all of the problems that you are going through. I'm all ears over here,and you can talk about anything that you want to. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Thanks Bizi. I filed down my cuticles last night -- this usually helps me curb things. I am still tampering with them but have already shifted away from the damage cycle. Hopefully I can keep it up. :):hug::hug:

waves

Thank you, Steve. :):hug::hug:

A lot of these things will pass, in time. The biggest issue that I have to deal with is the job search. The need for that won't pass... and my situation will worsen the longer I stay unemployed. I have to fight lots of negative feelings in order to get through the steps of job hunting, so it is very hard.

Thanks for listening. :o :hug:

waves

update
 

I now clearly have an infection. Fever, swollen lymph nodes in my neck, etc. Had trouble eating yesterday but didn't check temp till this morning when I was achey and skin hurting and stuff.

I had to ask, didn't I.

Temporary damper for the job search too. Not that I've done much with that this week. But I need to stay on it at least mentally. This will go away by itself in a few days besides... the need for a job will not do that.

waves