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-   -   Does this bother you? (https://www.neurotalk.org/traumatic-brain-injury-and-post-concussion-syndrome/207862-bother.html)

sciencetoy 08-08-2014 11:56 AM

Does this bother you?
 
I went to a TBI group this morning. I used to enjoy this group, but the guys I liked have left.

Anyway, they had this person who was going to talk about "the good things about brain injury" This person was fantastically wealthy and ended up talking about how his brain injury allowed him to leave his impressive but stressful job and stay home being totally taken care of by his family.

It bothered me that he did so much bragging about how much better he is than the rest of us.

I feel bad for anyone with a brain injury, but I did not appreciate being told that he's managing his TBI so much better than anyone else.

The best thing about my brain injury is that I survived it. So far.

Am I just too sensitive about this stuff? I don't think I'll ever go back to this group.

Lightrail11 08-08-2014 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sciencetoy (Post 1088027)
I went to a TBI group this morning. I used to enjoy this group, but the guys I liked have left.

Anyway, they had this person who was going to talk about "the good things about brain injury" This person was fantastically wealthy and ended up talking about how his brain injury allowed him to leave his impressive but stressful job and stay home being totally taken care of by his family.

It bothered me that he did so much bragging about how much better he is than the rest of us.

I feel bad for anyone with a brain injury, but I did not appreciate being told that he's managing his TBI so much better than anyone else.

The best thing about my brain injury is that I survived it. So far.

Am I just too sensitive about this stuff? I don't think I'll ever go back to this group.

If you've enjoyed the group in the past I wouldn't let one speaker at one meeting ruin it for you. That gives that individual too much power over you. The purpose of support groups is to share experiences. Not everyone's experience is the same, so take what you like and can relate to and leave the rest.

In addition to some TBI support groups I've gone to AA for years. As I was told early on, you can find one a**h*** at any meeting. Look for similarities rather then differences. Also consider how your experience may help others.

Best to you.

willgardner 08-08-2014 01:15 PM

The person sounds insensitive and inconsiderate perhaps due to ignorance and inexperience. Yes, it is annoying, but it is not personal.

Hockey 08-08-2014 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willgardner (Post 1088038)
The person sounds insensitive and inconsiderate perhaps due to ignorance and inexperience. Yes, it is annoying, but it is not personal.

Yes, and it could be part of the brain injury, too. After TBI some patients have trouble seeing the perspectives of others, reading body language, censoring speech, etc...

When I'm dealing with other TBI survivors, I try to be tolerant of their behaviour - and hope they'll do the same for me. "Norms", on the other hand...

I have little patience with non-TBI people who get angry with me because I don't want to be "super cripple" and/or embrace my injury as some opportunity for personal/spiritual growth. If they think it's so great, I'll help them find a wall they can pound their head against. :Bang-Head:

While it might not look that way to the ignorant, I'm doing the best I can. All things considered, that's pretty darn good.

music-in-me 08-08-2014 06:12 PM

Hockey,

You are absolutely right, you are "doing pretty darn good." I agree with everyone's observations of this peaker, sciencetoy. Please don't let it discourage you enough to leave something that seems to help you otherwise.

Hockey I love your headbanging graphic, and I so appreciate the reaction to statements that are meant to help, but really sound so cliche and vague. I think we as brain-injured individuals have a wealth of knowledge when it comes to embracing an opportunity. We are embracing bravery, courage and faith whenever we wake up and determine to try again and again, even when it is difficult.

So, here's to each of us for our persistence. Take care, M-i-m

willgardner 08-09-2014 01:52 AM

Hockey, I love your candor.

Hockey 08-09-2014 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willgardner (Post 1088141)
Hockey, I love your candor.

LOL Funnily enough, my friends call it "induced aggressive candor."

It's the product of my frontal lobe damage and means I have to strike "diplomat" off my list of possible alternative post TBI careers.

anne12 01-28-2018 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sciencetoy (Post 1088027)
I went to a TBI group this morning. I used to enjoy this group, but the guys I liked have left.

Anyway, they had this person who was going to talk about "the good things about brain injury" This person was fantastically wealthy and ended up talking about how his brain injury allowed him to leave his impressive but stressful job and stay home being totally taken care of by his family.

It bothered me that he did so much bragging about how much better he is than the rest of us.

I feel bad for anyone with a brain injury, but I did not appreciate being told that he's managing his TBI so much better than anyone else.

The best thing about my brain injury is that I survived it. So far.

Am I just too sensitive about this stuff? I don't think I'll ever go back to this group.

^that would bother me, honestly but i'm also a really sensitive person. yeah i wouldn't want to go back either. i'd have felt. Compared to. comparing doesn't help anyone but........it's hard not to do that. [well for me it is anyway.].

To use an analogy: one person might really like purple. another might not they might really like..........green. But that doesn't mean that green is somehow superior, in some way to. purple if that makes sense.

No I know what you mean. The best thing about this is that I *did* survive. [i also apparently have spinal issues. but what's amazing about that. is i'm actually physically able to do things.]. and thank god I survived. and nothing else happened. [well ok. nothing worse.]. i'm.....wow amazed.

anyway.


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