its amazing how some things make you think your crazy
 

Now, I know my issues because of the neuropsych test, but man even knowing the stuff, theres still times I feel crazy.

For example, went outside to get the mail, had the storm door open. I dropped an envelope and bent down to get it and saw my reflection out of the corner of my eye in the window. I went into full fight mode thinking someone was in my house, before 2 seconds later I realized it was me.

Stuff like this happens all the time, wether it be my shadow, or just seeing my reflection in a window briefly. I know my reaction time is a little jacked up, but man, this is frustrating. One of those things you got to learn to adopt to I suppose.

All of these new things im trying to workaround or learn are certainly taking its toll. But, like usual, im keeping positive.

I do the reflection thing, too. I also wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and become convinced that someone is trying to break in. It sounds silly as I type it out, but the fear is very real. I am extremely paranoid and anxious these days.

I wasn't expecting company today, and someone knocked on my front door. I spent 15 minutes hiding in a bedroom with my kids because I was so scared. Sometimes I think I've lost my mind.

The memory stuff makes me feel like I'm nuts! I've always had an excellent memory, sounds silly but I always found it really annoying when people would tell the same stories to me so was careful to never do this.
Now, I'll be telling my boyfriend something and he'll say 'yeah I know, you told me'. I'll have no memory of this at all, even when he explains when I told him, where we were etc.

The other one is the sensory overload thing. We were watching a show at a festival and the music started to actually hurt my ears at certain pitches. I ended up jamming my fingers into both ears but trying to watch, concentrate and all the people etc just got to me.
I put my head down, closed my eyes and plugged my ears and my boyfriend was trying to talk to me but I couldn't respond. After I practically fled the tent but couldn't talk to explain what was wrong. I laid down in our tent with my eyes closed and finally felt okay again after about half an hour.
I always feel like really I'm fine and complaining about nothing but as soon as my brain is challenged it just feels like it jams and I'm reminded that I still have issues!