Loss of much loved career at 35...
 

Due to my chronic pelvic nerve pain, which is worse when sitting, I had to resign my position as a graphic designer for a sports company. I cant even begin to describe how worthless it feels to no longer be able to do the job I loved so much. Not to mention spiralling further into debt every month just to pay the bills. My bank account looks like a countdown to homelessness...

Sorry, bit of a whine there... I just miss my career...

Hi Andy
 

I do know the same experience as you have. I lost my career too, when I became disabled. I did not handle it well at all, as I was at the top of my career, and had an international following for my art. I cried for years, and still do on occasion.
Find something to take its place. It may not be what you really want, but it can help full fill the empty place missing your career has left. I know it hurts, you worked for the position you made for yourself. Nothing worse than having that taken away from you. Wish I could ease you heart about this. It has been 10 years since I engaged in my chosen career, I still dream about it and miss it.

I do have other things in my life now, and so will you at some point. Just don't give up that there can be other forms of happiness. You just have to look for it. xxxginnie:grouphug:

I would love to do some part time volunteer work at an animal shelter, or something similar. I love animals & they have a unique way of distracting from negative things... Getting to manageable level of pain in the long term that allowed me to do that for a couple of days a week & I think I would be happy...

I have actually just brought a kitten into my home & she puts a smile on my face everyday. Even when she is running around my flat at 4am, lol...

I wasn't even all that super crazy about the stressful job I had . . . but I miss the security of knowing I was paying into retirement, and could afford to consider buying a new car or doing some home repairs -- that now have to be carefully balanced against needing that money for future living expenses. I also miss the mental challenge it provided, the interaction with people, and the regular schedule.

yeah it sucks. I guess to be perfectly honest I loved my job in beginning but it was kind of routine after a number of years. The rest of your post sums it up great. I'm in agonizing pain, couldn't start a family or buy a house, but the first thing I say when I wake up is "my 350z is gone!!!" that figures :)

What really bites is how people react when you say you are on disability. "Wish I had vacation 365 days a year" or "Must be nice to sleep in every day."

Living by a pain scale, on pain meds that dull you until you yourself know you are too impaired to drive sometimes, and not being able to work . . . is hardly a vacation. And what most people don't realize is the only vacation most of us would love to take is away from our health issues and our pain!

What is most difficult for me, however, is the thought I will never again lace up my mountaineering boots, hoist my backpack onto my back, and hike into the woods on my way to a glaciated peak -- ever again! I will never get to hang out around Snow Lake in the Tatoosh Range ever again -- I will never SEE it again. I will never watch the sun set from Camp Muir on Mt. Rainier again. I will never pitch my tent deep in the old growth forest in the North Cascades again. My outings now are quick trips to the grocery, the mall, and the plethora of doctor's offices of which I am a charter member.

Life after a career cut short is not fun . . .

Hi pablo,

Sorry to hear that. I can partly relate, because i have heavy metal poisoing and i have never been able to use my brain, so life as a scientist has not been granted to me, although i have a real scientific mind.

Animals are the best and do give lots of positive energy, just like all of nature!
Although i can not really help you, but maybe writing and reading about it helps a little!

Good luck!

Dear Lefthanded
 

Your post got to me. I so understand about not being able to do what you did before. Even after 10 years without my career, I still do cry.
I try to fill in with other art, books, musics, anything I can but I always remember those days where I truly loved what I did, and I had planned on doing it all my life.
A good friend of mine tried to ease my mind and said one simple thing. NONE of us asks to be sick or hurt. What is important is that your friends stay by you while you go through all the difficult changes. For those alone NT has been a life saver.
I am on the couch these days too, and I don't want to be there. My own stupid actions put me there as I tried to do something I knew I could not do to save money. So I fell, and that is what I get for the effort plus having to pay for what I could not do. When you want to do things, and your body won't let you, it is very hard on a person emotionally. I have had people tell me too... Oh you are so lucky to be retired and on disability. I would give anything to be back at work full time and enjoying my life the way it was. Those people may be hurt or sick someday too, and I bet they won't look at this situation the same again.
I wish you all the best. If you can do some kind of hobby or reading, to help you distract yourself, that is what helps me the most.
Also it is still possible to find love even when you are hurt or disabled. You never know what is around the next corner or behind the next door unless you go through it. ginnie:hug::grouphug:

I hear all that. Before my injury I was extremely active & it frustrates me not being able to do simple things I used to take for granted...

I try to keep the mind active by music, reading & lots of documataries... Hard to stay too focused due to pain & meds, but would rather try than not.

As for 'love', I have no plans on that front. Getting dates has never been an issue, & still isnt even with me being completely up front about everything regarding my injury, but its hard to focus & therefore, not much fun. Besides, even after eighteen months, still being in love with the ex, isnt fair on anyone new I meet. So Im just not going to bother..