Ugh, my son needs some understanding.
 

Okay I have been working since last night to put a fire that I kind of created
out. Dale my husband had been down to check on Jessica and Ethan. And
learned he was burned by soup this last week. And she had spent lots
of money taking care of him. Well there should have been a place to go
for prescriptions. (I will be working on getting a government card for her now)

But I thought that she had at least told my son. Just hadn't gotten a idea
where to go for prescriptions. Nope, she hadn't. He got upset with me texting, and I thought I'd got him off the edge to yell and say things to her.

Nope he walked down to were she is. And she had to call the cops. I'm personally glad she did that. It was necessary. But they also told her
to get a restraining order. Which we will see if she does.

The biggest part of this is I wouldn't tell Dale last night. He needed
to be able to sleep, and not scream in the house. Will was sleeping
on the couch.

Ugh, so I still get to tell him later today, what happened and why.
Hoping he can understand why it was necessary to tell Danny
about the burns. I honestly thought he knew. But no.

(Also note: when he was 3 or 4, this is same grandson that I helped
have a severe burn in Kokomo thanks to coffee. So the reaction wasn't
unexpected.)

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Gosh how bad were the burns?
How did he get a hold of such hot soup?

Doe she know any basic first aid ??
*like running cold water on most burns right away- (not on open burns) will stop the spreading of the heat to deeper tissues?

If child is fairly young maybe keeping pan handles turned away from front of stove & baby proofing is needed.

These are the questions I would ask if my grandson got burned bad enough to need prescriptions..
:grouphug:

Were they very angry with each other before this? - but she really should have told the father when his child gets burned that badly..

And was he more mad about the money or the child being hurt?:confused:

Many a custody case or child services get involved when injuries start happening..

Jo*mar

She is a good mom. They just split in a not so good way in May or June.

My son has created a lot of the problems.

My grandson is 12 and has a mind of his own. I haven't seen the burns.
Not even sure my husband did. This kid is very quiet and stays to himself upstairs. Working on that as I can.

But she told him to run cold water and he didn't listen. I think she
thought at 12 going on 13 he would listen and run the water.

It was hours later from what I'm hearing that he told her that the hands
were bad.


As a little more time goes by. I will tell her to let me know immediately
if there is a illness or injury. And that I will pass it on to my son.


They aren't getting along, but to a degree the attitude of my son is normal.
He is the one that had intermittent explosive disorder for many years without us finding exactly what it is. My son is/was doing a lot better.

But I think he needs some work on handling his ex-girlfriend. He also
needs to realize he has to pay money for this young man. We talked
about that again today. I will resolve this with him.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Donna,
So sorry to hear of the family problem.
I wonder how a 12 year old gets burnt that bad on soup, especially after a burn with coffee. Where was the burn? Something isn't adding up. From being in homes that said this is how burns happened, I found out later a whole different scenario.

Another thing, if your son is not court orders to pay child support, he will be. Any time there is assistance provided they will issue an order of support, not the mother. Then can go back too for support.

Hugs for you and family,
Di

The assistance came from cash the mother paid. Some of which we had
given her the week before.

He has insurance through his dad.

Honestly I'm not sure why the soup was that hot. He was burned on his
hands mainly I believe. Maybe arms some.

I totally get why my son was upset, but he needed to calm down first.

I am not against him being required to pay child support.

even as the mom says: He could just quit his job. Hopefully his
girlfriend now can continue to get him to understand why that isn't
right.

He loves his job. So I'm hoping the court if brought in orders close to what
she is wanting. Which is resonable, as I told him today.

As a person on SSi, you get $721.00. She is willing to take $150.00 a
week. To me this is a good amount. He buys clothing and school books
for the beginning of the year. He has bought other things. And I continue to try and make him realize his responsibilities.

The burning, yep I would have thought he would be more careful.
But the first time the coffee, was not his. It was mine and his hands
moved fast. I guess he wanted to try it.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

It's easy to downplay burns... in the mind of a 12 year old, the more serious the injury, the more serious the trouble.

The thing is after the initial pain, partial numbness can develop.... so he might genuinely have thought it wasn't that bad, and wanted to kind of man up at his mom's suggestion of cold water. The burning returns a few hours later with a vengeance.

If it was just a first degree burn a simple aspirin taken right away would help. Hot soup should do no more than cause a bad scalding (1st degree), but if on a large area aspirin would be a good idea. If already blistering, a doctor should be seen.

I agree the father should be informed, through you if Jessica does not feel up to communicating directly. You are doing a great job mediating them Donna. You are very fair-minded.

waves

Thanks Waves for the information.

Not sure what degree it was considered. When it was the scalding hot coffee.
It was 2nd degree mostly. A little if I remember 3rd degree.

I am happier tonight, my husband didn't explode. About things with them.
And he said, he got mad at her yesterday for not telling even us.

I have told her again, to let me know and I'll handle or try to Danny.

I think though she will start calling or telling my husband. And then it
goes to Danny. Hopefully things are straightening out.

He can be a good dad, just not a good person between them right now.
They both have faults.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Donna,

How is your son doing?

And how are you doing?

Mari

My son finally sent some money again for Ethan. So happy about that.
But we have to work on delivery of the money. He is not supposed
to just take it and leave it on a table.

I am supposed to start getting it and either I or his dad deliver. So
we can also make a copy of the check or whatever.

My grandson, I haven't seen but walking by outside. He looks good,
I plan to see again soon. He just is at the age he doesn't want
to come by.

I am doing okay. Still really wish the weather would cooperate for my
foot.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Kids should be encouraged to visit grandparents especially when they live close by..
Seems it is a forgotten thing now..:(

Maybe in time that will be encouraged more..