Moving Past The Anger
 

I admit.....i've had neuropathy for five years now and i'm still angry. It seems I become even more so as the years go by. How can I ever move past the anger I feel about having this disease? I'm getting deep tonight but its spreading and i'm stuck. I was sitting at work today when I had a bad flare and I asked myself, "How much longer can i keep doing this?" I don't really cope well with pain and it makes me quite hateful to others, though I try not to let it. It has made a significant progression in the past few months, more progression than has been had in years.

I have come up with all sorts of ways to treat my physical symptoms, but mentally I am hanging on by a tread (not in a suicidal way or anything), but recently I have been punching things.

In my mind complete acceptance is admission of defeat.

The truth is I really thought I had this thing at bay and now that it is progressing again I am having a very hard time dealing with it.

At any rate, it seems that many members here have been able to cope in a very admirable way. Any secrets? I'm just not getting it.

I do get angry at times. Right now I am in a minor anger flair...due to stress and the return home from vacation with a severe back flare, which is now resolving...but I am still angry over it. It was very debilitating, and I couldn't even drive my car.

I think men with their testosterone may have more challenges with anger. But I have my moments too, and I don't have that hormone level to fuel it.

My husband is very understanding, but he is now retired and talks my arm off, and somehow needs more attention than ever!:rolleyes:

I can't do any of the physical things I used to do for stress relief.
Bowling, tennis and racket ball are history for me now. All I have is a few games of Angry Birds to blow off steam. LOL ;)

What not to do
 

hey h1n1, the balance between acceptance and rage is, I guess, different for each of us. You do however have to "maintain your cool" in certain situations. I rolled through a stop sign and was pulled over. The policeman started asking an interogative line of questioning.Where you going? Where you coming from? What is your purpose for being out in public today? I was so angry that I was shaking and would not speak immediately. This made the officer all the more anxious. I rallied my composure and more or less told him I was "making a drag" as was common in the small town culture that was my heritage. This could have gone south in a hurry as I was running scenarios in my head that involved shouting "Gestapo" and charging with a walker out in front of me. So watch the rage, driving or talking to the police. It doesm't take a lot to get on the six o;clock news these days. Good Luck, Ken in Texas

Hi there,
I am very sorry about your progression.
Doing some meditation might help.
Sometimes I repeat words over and over again and that helps a little.
I am not sure if that will help you.
I have even stared at flowers for several minutes too.
Might seem cheesie, but it gets me out of my body for a little while.
Take care H1N1.:hug:

Anymore, if I have a flare, it's usually because of something I've eaten. Have you considered giving up the nightshade veggies (tomatoes, potatoes, peppers, egg plant, paprika, tobacco, pimento)? Some people can't tolerate them with neuropathy--there are a number of posts about this. Sugar also does it for me so if you can give that up, you'll probably have less pain. Eating isn't as pleasurable as it once was, but I can make the adjustments.

I am messing around with my diet lately and I am going to try that. I can often link certain foods to flairs but there are times when flairs seem to occur for no reason. Definitely worth a shot on the nightshades.

The nightshades are huge. They are in everything now.

Another hidden trigger is citrus fruits. When I stopped oranges and lemons, my arthritis seemed to be much less. I still get flares, but daily pain is often much less. I take Vit C in supplement form to make up for it.

Much like MrsD with her Angry Birds, I lose myself in an online fantasy world game. Killing dragons and such makes the hours fly buy, and before I know it the afternoon has been and gone, all the while my focus on the game has taken my mind off the pain, completely!

Late at night seems to be the most painful time for me. Every night I lay here next to hubby as he snores, and I research neuropathy, gluten, etc. in an effort to educate myself. I read these forums, which helps a lot. Knowing I'm in good company on this journey certainly helps.

For me, acceptance of my Doctor's word is defeatist.

I've accepted whatever is going on with my body because I want to take control of it. I will get to the bottom of what is causing this pain, and I will rid myself of it if that's the last thing I do. No Doctor is going to give up, throw pain meds at me and expect me to lay down and take it. THAT is why I've 'accepted' it. I've excepted there is something wrong, but I will never accept that it's won and there is no hope.

Hope that makes sense, I often struggle to get my message across thanks to medications.

If kicking stuff, screaming at stuff, and swearing helps, then I see nothing wrong with that. Pent up anger is poison to your body, let it out, loudly and often. Just take it out on teddy bears and pillows, not other living beings. :)

I understand your anger toward people who live pain free. Why were we chosen to endure this torture? I sometimes wish people around me could experience my pain for just an hour or so, long enough for them to understand what I'm going through. I mourn for my life the way it was. It's not fair! It sux!

I disappear into a fantasy world in a game. Others meditate. Others scream and beat up pillows. Whatever you need to do in order to detox from that anger is fine, so long as its working for you. :)

P.S..... this week's free Facebook Angry Birds is Halloween based with ancient Egyptian themes and zombies coming back from piggies ! It is one of the nicest they have offered so far!

Only here for 7 days days though, but free for FB members.
I've had a "good" morning with it.;)

[QUOTE=AussieDebbie;1104176]Much like MrsD with her Angry Birds, I lose myself in an online fantasy world game. Killing dragons and such makes the hours fly buy, and before I know it the afternoon has been and gone, all the while my focus on the game has taken my mind off the pain, completely!

Late at night seems to be the most painful time for me. Every night I lay here next to hubby as he snores, and I research neuropathy, gluten, etc. in an effort to educate myself. I read these forums, which helps a lot. Knowing I'm in good company on this journey certainly helps.

For me, acceptance of my Doctor's word is defeatist.

I've accepted whatever is going on with my body because I want to take control of it. I will get to the bottom of what is causing this pain, and I will rid myself of it if that's the last thing I do. No Doctor is going to give up, throw pain meds at me and expect me to lay down and take it. THAT is why I've 'accepted' it. I've excepted there is something wrong, but I will never accept that it's won and there is no hope.

Hope that makes sense, I often struggle to get my message across thanks to medications.

If kicking stuff, screaming at stuff, and swearing helps, then I see nothing wrong with that. Pent up anger is poison to your body, let it out, loudly and often. Just take it out on teddy bears and pillows, not other living beings. :)

I understand your anger toward people who live pain free. Why were we chosen to endure this torture? I sometimes wish people around me could experience my pain for just an hour or so, long enough for them to understand what I'm going through. I mourn for my life the way it was. It's not fair! It sux!

I disappear into a fantasy world in a game. Others meditate. Others scream and beat up pillows. Whatever you need to do in order to detox from that anger is fine, so long as its working for you.
Hi AussieDebbie,
How are you doing? I was just wondering. Do you have a dx of Neuropathy? You sound like your having Neuropathic pain. I read in another one of your posts that your B 12 was "low". Does your Doc think that is the cause of your symptoms. What kind of symptoms are you having? And are you taking any medications (besides supplements) for your pain? I suffer with I-SFN (Idiopathic small fiber neuropathy). The Doctors, after 3 years still can not find a cause. I take 275 mgs Lyrica,which is not helping with all the pain. My B12 was low (375) 3 years ago, when my symptoms started ( tingling in my calves and burning under my feet). I thought the "low" B12 level was the cause of my symptoms, so I took 5000 mcg of Methl-B12 a day for many months. My B12 went up to over 1500, but unfortunately it didn't make a difference in my pain. I love how you explain how you deal with your pain. The only thing that works for me, is I have to go somewhere private (at home) and cry it out. Nothing else I do can "distract" me from this dreaded pain. I Hope your doing ok!