I survived...
 

After a life full of pain, rejection, and horrible choices, I tried to kill myself 2 weeks ago. I have gone through a lot in my life, but thought my life was finally good until my husband (who I was with since age 15) decided he no longer loved me.

After the divorce, I was so lonely and devastated, I made some terrible choices. Including, getting engaged after knowing someone for only 6 weeks. Moving in with him almost immediately, and married to him 9 months from meeting him.

I am now in a very painful, difficult relationship with a 2 year old. I am pretty lost. I devoted my life to raising my older children, including homeschooling them. I have no marketable skills, or experience and can barely find jobs that pay minimum wage, which isn't even enough to pay for child care, let alone a home and a way to live.

I am lost, and feel no one understands me. So, I took a serious overdose, and didn't admit to it until about 4 hours after I took them. By that time I was pretty sick.

After receiving medical care, I was put in a mental health hospital for 6 days. I have now been home a week.

I'm glad your attempt was unsuccessful. I'm also glad that you found NT. There are people here who understand and can help you. :grouphug:

I also am glad your attempt failed and I understand that you want your life to change, not end. Your daughter needs you so please put her needs first. :hug: I am worried about your present living situation....do you feel safe? There is a great link at the top of this forum in the stickies...please look there for information about safe places and consider them. :grouphug:

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread238.html

I'm so glad you found us...please continue to post. Hugs

it was not your time
i believe
you are here just like
you said raising your
children
i am thrilled they still have
their mommy
now we stand here
for You
i relate
i am guilty in my own life
i hurt my children
when the hear me say
"this is a good day to go Home"
not a choice for myself
and my dark thoughts will
are put off for the next day
i am awakened for a reason
as You are
hang on as i do so
with the help of all here
and in my life
know there Is a master plan
God is in control
make a choice everyday
love
me

I am lost, and feel no one understands me.:hug:

you have then come to the right place, pull up a chair and talk ............i have huge ears...and big enough shoulders to cry on..........

i have been in your shoes many times.......all i offer is an abundance of support and a kind word here and there.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kfpE8xYBmY

David

Thank you all for the kind words. I appreciate them very much.

Walking in our shoes
 

I read your post and cried, not for me but for you. Our daily life sees us try on many shoes, those that get us through and those that help us on our way throughout the day, then there are the ones that anchor us to this life. I have given thought to ending it all and thankfully that thought has just remained a thought. Stay in the moment, draw on whatever you can to anchor yourself to this life, open up your heart to try new things, take small steps towards a new life. But most of all, be kind to yourself, you are worth it.:hug:

so beautifully said
Amen

PamelaJune- Thank you for your sweet words and kind reply. Your reply made ME cry. I am always trying to truly see my blessings, even through the painful moments.

Thank you all again for your kindness and support.

I'm sorry. I know that may be cliche, but I am.

Your situation sounds similar to mine. I went through a divorce, caused by my drinking and risk taking behaviors, and in the middle of it decided to cold quit Paxil. The results were not good. I ended up in the hospital because I had decided I didn't want to take paxil, and quit in the middle of my divorce, probably at the roughest time. So, I walked out of the hospital in the same frame of mind as you. I felt I was worthless, dumb, and had no use to the world. My path out will be different from yours, but, there is always hope. There is always the ability to improve, as long as we fight on. Life likes to punch us a lot, but eventually a glimmer appears. The glimmer is always worth the pain.

I had to get angry to change. I finally got fed up with the spot I was in and decided life wasn't going to take me down.

Now life for me, other than concussion related injuries, is good. I couldn't ask to be in a better place in my life, and could have missed all that.

Hope you get better